You Promised Forever
by nr7
Summary: Lies, broken promises, deception and love.what's fair in love and war? Hermione promises Harry to marry him after the war, yet realizes its not what she wants. How does she feel when she finds herself wanting Draco instead? first fanfiction! please review
1. Chapter 1

"I'll make study schedule's tomorrow, we have to start soon especially if you two want to be aurors," Hermione said and she and Harry walked out side to the lake. It was their first day of their seventh year, and they had been dating each other since the end of their second. Harry who loved to converse with Hermione was quiet tonight, unable to really speak, Hermione though, had taken no notice and continued talking.

"Ron has to get his grades up in transfiguration, other wise he will be forced to drop the class, speaking of Ron, where is he? Doesn't he normally come out at this time too?" she asked looking back at the castle. Harry took a seat on the rock next to the lake, this rock had meant so much to them. It was where they had both confessed their feelings about one another, and shared their first kiss. It was where they had come every year after the battles that Harry had faced, and it was where they both felt comfortable.

"he was tired, plus I think he wanted to spend some time with Luna," Harry mustered out. _Be a man_, he thought. _I have fought Voldemort himself, and I can't even do this? Wimp!_ He said as he watched Hermione turn towards the lake. She played with a small necklace Harry had given to her for her sixteenth birthday. It was a small silver bow, that she had never taken off, and did not intend to. it had been Lily's, something he had retrieved in his vault at Gringotts and knew it was the perfect gift for Hermione.

Hermione thought it impossible to love a man, more than she loved Harry. They had such a story, such a history together. True, Harry may not have been the smartest at school, or possibly even the best looking, although Hermione found that hard to believe, but Harry was the man that she loved, and he loved her. He was the man that she had been by his side, when he was at his saddest and most happy of times. She was the girl he looked to in crowds every time he caught the snitch at a Quidditch match, and she was the girl who had his heart. As much as she loved him though, she never realized how transformed their relationship had become over five years. Thinking it was only that the two had grown older, she had not said anything, not even thought anything was odd.

"I can't believe I have to share a common room with Malfoy," she cried as she remembered hearing the devastating news last night, that Malfoy was the Head Boy, as she was the Head Girl, and that they would be sharing a common room together once the room had been refurbished.

"I'll be in there as much as you want me, you can spend most of your free time in the Gryffendor common room, you'll barely have to see him," Harry comforted her, putting his arm around her shoulder. She rested his head on his shoulder.

"you're right, but the very idea makes me sick, Draco Malfoy, of all people, you're a hundred times the man he is, why couldn't have McGongigal made you head boy?" Hermione complained, but Harry didn't need to answer, they had both known why.

This was the year, they all felt it. the final battle was approaching, and it was up to Harry to save the Wizarding world. he talked about it rarely with Hermione, she tried to remain calm, but the thoughts of loosing Harry to the Dark Lord himself had proven too much for her to handle. She had never let Harry seen her worried or upset by this, for if he knew that she were, she feared he would become unfocused and it would prove fatal. Instead she had supported Harry, telling him that she would be by his side the whole time, but over the past year, she had been less and less. He wouldn't tell her when he was going out with Dumbledore the year before, he hadn't told her anything that he was doing, or how close he was to killing Voldemort, but by the long trips, Hermione knew it was soon.

What bothered her more, was that her best friend Ron, had been confessing less and less to Hermione as well. He had been Harry's right hand man, always with him, on all the trips, on all their late night's researching. He knew all that Harry did, but for some reason, probolly the same as Harry, had not told her what was going on. Pushing the thoughts out of her head, for she did not feel like worrying her self at the moment, she turned towards Harry.

"I still think you should have been head boy," she put her chin on his shoulder and took his right hand. She traced the faint scar that had been on his hand since their fifth year, since Umbridge and her midevil ways. He played with her fingers.

"its too much work," he smiled and she rolled her eyes.

"you can be such an under acehvior sometimes Harry," she said. it was the time, Harry felt it.

"Hermione," he began, hiding all stammor and shakes in his voice. He pulled something out of his pocket, but she didn't notice.

"hmm," she said looking into his eyes, she pushed some of her hair out of her eyes. over the years she had tamed it, it was still curly, but bushiness that had once covered her beauty was long gone.

"I love you," he began.

"I love you-," he put a finger to her lips and she gave him a puzzled look.

"Hermione Jane Granger, I love you like I never thought capable of loving a person. You were the one who made me want to go on, even when I thought it impossible. You were the one who was there every time I couldn't get up, when the world gets to heavy, you are the one to lighten it up. Hermione, I look into your eyes," he cupped her chin. "and I know that I can win this war, I know that I can do this, just because of your smile, and the twinkle in your eye. It gives me something to fight for." Hermione sat watching him, no idea of what he was doing. He showed her the ring box, and then he slowly opened it. she sat there with a smile of happiness and confusion on her face, tears filling in her eyes. what was happening? It was a small and subtle ring. The kind that was perfect for her. It was gold and had three diamonds on it. it sparkled in the moon light. "Hermione, will you marry me?" he asked slipping the ring onto her finger, it fit perfectly.

"Harry," she said and he wiped away a tear from her face. "I don't know what to say. I love you."

"is that a yes?" he asked he held her hand. She waited a moment.

"we're so young," she said looking down. she wanted to scream out yes, but she couldn't, something wouldn't let her.

"Hermione, the war is approaching. I need to know that once its over, regardless of who wins, regardless of what happens, that we will be together," Harry said. he enveloped her into his arms and held her close.

"Harry I love you, I will be by your side the whole time, I will be by your side after the war-," she said searching for the rest of the words to finish her sentence. She couldn't find them. Yes was at the tip of her toungue, but that's as far as it was getting.

"then say yes Hermione," he said not even realizing he was pressuring her. "I need to know that I will be with my one true love after the war." Hermione held back some tears, that were a mixture of joy and terror. She pulled away and saw a face of wonder. Harry was terrfied that she would say no, she couldn't.

"let's make it a promise," she insisted and leaned her forehead on his. "lets make it a promise ring. That after the war is over, and good has won, that yes Harry James Potter, I will marry you." She smiled and he couldn't help but smile back. They kissed passionately for a few minutes. They were staring into the eyes of their future spouse. For Harry it was the most uplifiting moment in his life that he could remember, but for Hermione, she was instantly plagued with a feeling of doubt and wonder. Something had hit her like a brick just then, but she refused to admit it.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco Malfoy sat there with a look of disdain on his face as he watched the golden trio in the front of the Potions class. he had hated all of them from first sight, well most of them from first sight.

Malfoy sat back in his chair as he stirred his potion. He had finished it minutes ago, and had looked around with great pride to see that all of the other potions were no where as near good as his. He laughed to him self as he watched Granger try to help the Weasel with his potion, the boy couldn't even bring ginger root and newt's eye to a boil.

Malfoy recalled the first day he had met Ron, on the train to Hogwarts in their first year. He hated the Weasley's, they were blood traitors, almost as bad as mudbloods. He found their red hair and freckles to be audacious, and the fact that there were as many as them was also a factor into the disgust. Malfoy scoffed at everything about them, their family, their lifestyle, and their friends. although Malfoy did love to beat up on Ron, he found it hysterical how the Weasel couldn't even defend himself without Potty and Granger to the rescue. how Malfoy hated Ron's friends.

He then looked to Harry who Hermione was now helping. Malfoy nearly puked in disgust as Harry put his hand on her back and watched as they intertwined their figners. Malfoy hated Harry more than he feared the Dark Lord, which was almost impossible but Potter had found a way to do it. Every one had pittied and praised the poor boy since he was a baby, he had lost his parents to the Dark Lord but was the only boy to survive. He was the chosen one.

'the chosen one?' Malfoy laughed as he put his wand down on the desk. 'he just had some dumb luck on his side,' Malfoy decided to himself, but he had decided this years ago. Harry had barely been able to escape the Dark Lord year after year, it had been by some events and some dumb luck that he had, Malfoy smiriked as he knew Harry wouldn't be able to escape this time, not with the final battle approaching. But it wasn't the attention that Harry had been getting, undeservedly, since he was a child, that made Malfoy hate him. No, Malfoy had just as much power and attention that Harry had. His name made people quake when they heard it, he had more money and power than any man he knew, and he was only 17. Besides that he was the most desirable man at Hogwarts, girls, throwing their house to the wind had flung them selves at Malfoy left and right, just for him to glance their way. he was the Slythern Sex God, the Prince himself.

He had had his way with many girls, so many he couldn't even count on two hands. But being Malfoy, there was one girl who caught his eye. The one he couldn't have. He had been attracted to her since the first time he laid eyes on her, on the train that first day of School. Sure she had the bushiest hair he had ever seen, and a set of buck teeth that out shined any beaver he had ever seen, but even then there was something that attracted him to her so strongly, and he couldn't be able to identify what it was. Over the years she had grown up and matured into a women, and Malfoy had taken notice to every curve visible threw her robes and all the grace she possessed. He had tried talking to her that first day he remembered, but she had just pushed him away after treating Harry and Ron the way he did. Soon after, when he had found out she was a mudblood, he had been almost ashamed at his feelings towards her. He had never told anyone of the emotions he had experienced, and as much as he noticed her, he pushed the memories of ever wanting her away.

But this was why he had hated Potter so much, because he had her, he had the Mudblood. It didn't matter how much Malfoy forgot of his emotions, or how hard he pushed them away. usually, when he would least expect it, she would walk by and he would smell the perfume she was wearing and immediately be entranced by her. Every time this had happened he had covered up by making a remark that began a fight, this was also another thing he liked about her. She was about the only person he knew that could beat himself in a fight, and she looked so cute when she got angry also. But as much as he thought about this as he watched her stir her own potion, the only one that was producing a darker purple vapor than his, the one the book called for, he really had pushed those feelings away for years. He was the pureblood, desireable, intelligent wizard, and she was the mudblood, taken, equally as intelligent, witch. Besides all their differences and their pure hatered for one another, this was enough to keep them apart.

"ahh, Mr. Malfoy," Snape's voice rang out from the front of the class, he had looked up from a book he was reading. "it seems that both you and Ms. Granger have finisihed your potions," he face was blank and his voice cool, as always.

"should it surprise the rest of this class that both Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger have completed the assignment before them? Doubtful. You are all in you seventh years, if you ever expect to pass this class, I need to see some improvement, you would think that this is remeidial potions with the results you lot give me-," Snape began standing up picking up two Vials. He stopped in the middle of his speech when he saw Malfoy squinting. "eye problems Mr. Malfoy?" Snape asked bluntly, it caught Malfoy off guard a little.

"no sir," he said and enevr missing an oppertuinty to tease one of the golden trio, he couldn't let this pass. "it was just that Granger's tacky costume jewelry was reflecting light making it hard to concentrate," Malfoy smirked, his famous smirk.

Hermione quickly brought her hand in, it had been a week since Harry had asked her to marry him, and no one knew at school besides Ron and Ginny. Hermione preferred it that way, she didn't want to deal with what people would say or think, not this year, too much depended on this year.

Snape turned his head just in time to see the ring on Hermionie's left hand before she hid it in her robes.

"Ms Granger," he said his gaze going from Malfoy to Hermione.

"Yes Professor?" she asked looking down.

"may I see your hand?" he asked coolly, Harry put his hand on Hermionie's leg letting her know he was right there, Ron did the same thing on the other side. Hermione stuck out her right hand.

"no Ms. Granger, the _other_ hand," he replied. She looked at Harry, who nodded then looked down as she pulled her left hand out from the pocket in her robe and slowly held it up for Snape who took her hand in his. The touch made Hermione want to vomit.

"should I expect this to mean what it traditionally means Ms. Granger?" Snape asked, the ring glimmered in the light and the whole class held their gaze on it.

"yes Professor," Hermione barely got out. She didn't care how famous she was, she hated all attention on her.

"and should I assume that Mr. Potter is the man who this ring belongs to?" he asked, his gaze not going off of the ring.

"yes Professor," she replied again. As she was about to pull her hand back he held on to it more forcefully and showed the class.

"was this Mr. Malfoy, what was disrupting your participation in class?" Snape asked, Malfoy sat there a stunned looked plastered to his face. They were getting married? They were only 17, they couldn't get married. "Mr. Malfoy?" he searched his entire being for words to respond, but he found none until Hermione turned around to see what was taking him so long to speak.

She could have sworn she had seen a look of jealousy on his face for a split second, but it was soon covered up by pure loathing, nothing which surprised her.

"yes professor," Malfoy smiriked, he wanted to glare at Hermione, make her feel stupid, but he feared if he looked at her one more time that she would read into his heart, the emotions that he had forgotten about for so long that had suddenly sprung back to life in a matter of mere minutes. Snape turned to Hermione.

"I should ask you then, Ms. Granger, to remove any and all jewelry when coming to class as it appears to be distracting," he said and relased her hand.

"yes Professor," she responded, but thought it was rude and ridiculous to have Snape do that to her. Luna Lovegood had come into this class with beets for earrings, and as far as Hermione knew Snape had never told her to stop wearing them.

"Granger, Malfoy, come put your potions into these vials, the rest of you have failed the assignment for the day," Snape said as the bell rang. As everyone shuffled out of the room Harry kissed Hermione's cheek and told her he'd be waiting outside the door with Ron. Hermione took the vial from the front desk and quickly ladled her potion into it, with out even looking at Malfoy, she was not in a mood to be teased by him right then, not about her engagement. Malfoy sensed this, but he didn't care, the only thing that stopped him from saying anything to her was the fact that he didn't have anything to say, he was to stunned by the news.

As he watched as Granger hurried out of the class room, books in hand, head down, all he could see was the glimmer of the ring. He had been living with her for the past five days, and had a majority of classes with her, how did he not notice it before? He ladled the potion into his vial, Snape had gone to his office. All he had in his head was a picture of Potter and Granger's wedding. The smartest witch and the chosen one together, how cliché was that? an image of the children they would have popped into his head of a boy and a girl who had a mixture of both their features, he shuddered at the thought and in doing so broke the vial he was holding.

"damn," he said. "repario." The vial was instantly put back together, and the potion was in the vial. He willed him self to move to the desk in the front of the room, as he did he placed the potion next to Granger's. he picked her's up and held it. moment's ago she had touched this vial, been holding it. a mixture of desire and disgust flowed threw him as he placed the vial down next to his. She was with Potter, had been, and it was really no surprise that they were to get married, only at such a young age. Sure there was the war, but being a teenager was still being a teenager. He had never loved any of the girls he was with to the extent that he would worry about them in the final battle, they had been one, maybe two night stands depending on how well they could perform. Plus, Granger was a mudblood, that he was even considering anything relating to her horrified him. Hadn't she been the one to beat him up third year? He still rarely admitted the a mudblood witch had clocked him on the nose, but she had, and he had to hand it to her it was a good shot. He didn't like her, wasn't even attracted to her in the slightest, he deiceded.

But as Malfoy gathered his books and left the class room he was enraged. They were getting married? Sure he had never admitted his feelings to anyone, including himself, and didn't want to be with her. He hated her. She was a book worm, goody-two shoes, kiss up, who had risen to fame by association with Harry Potter. He loathed her, he didn't care who she fancied, he didn't want her, not even for one night. nothing would make him look at Granger like that again in his life, he swore on it.

But even though he was so resilant with his descion, he couldn't help but wonder why he was enraged. If he was right that he had no emotions for her, why was he so angry? He tried to forget about it as he reached the Great Hall and sat down in his normal spot and began to eat, distant from the conversation of the people around him. He watched as the golden trio ate, how the sun light played off of Hermionie's hair as she laughed at a remark Weasley had made. She was pretty….no she wasn't, she ugly, down right ugly. But Malfoy couldn't take his eyes away.

He tried to look away with disgust as Harry put his arm around Hermionie's shoulder, tried to look away as he blew into her ear whispering something that made her turn around a kiss him; but he couldn't. what he couldn't help but notice though was how Harry kept examining her left hand, the ring finger, talking about the wedding, Malfoy assumed, with Ron and Ginny, all three who seemed to have trouble wiping the smile's off their faces. He watched Hermione, she forced a smile and then looked away. looked out the window, looked down at her food, look around the Great Hall, then looked at Malfoy.


	3. Chapter 3

**hey guys! so i hope you're enjoying this story! this is my first fanfiction, and i'd appreciate any and all reviews, the good, the bad, the ugly, what ever you have to say is welcomed**

**anything you recognize is not mine and belongs to JK Rowling.**

Malfoy quickly adverted his gaze from Hermione and entered the conversation that was going on around him although he had absolutely no idea what it was about.

'Had Granger saw him stairing?' he wondered, and assured him self she hadn't. it didn't matter, he didn't want her, and even if he did, he couldn't have her.

'why was Malfoy just stairing at me?' Hermione wondered as Harry and Ron talked about the wedding, having it in the desert's of Africa where Charlie, Ron's older brother had sent them pictures of his work with Dragon's. Hermione let the two go on fantaczing, she hadn't really talked about the wedding at all, she was having trouble picturing it. she could see her self in a beautiful white dress, standing in front of people in a white gazebo that had roses wrapped around it, a fountain going off just behind them, being happier than she thought possible. But every time she tried to picture Harry standing in a Tux, placing a wedding band on her finger, she couldn't see his face. She couldn't see anyones face. She wondered if this was a sign saying it wasn't right, weren't brides-to-be normal extatic when their boyfriends proposed to him and got cold-feet closer to the wedding? Shouldn't she be able to picture Harry standing there saying 'I do?' then why couldn't she.

She tried to push these thoughts out of her head, but Harry kept bringing up, he was like a child in a candy store just at the thought of spending the rest of his life with Hermione. How could she dare to even hint she wasn't sure of her descion, it would destroy him, and she couldn't have him crashing now, she needed him, the world needed him. This was the reason she had said yes to Harry a week ago, and it was the same reason why she was doubting now. Sitting there at lunch though, she tried to push the thoughts away, so she had tried to change the subject in her mind and look around for something to think about, and she had found that something to change subjects, Malfoy's gaze. He had looked away before she was positive he was looking at her, but she was sure he had, why?

She had been living with him for a week, well sharing a common room and a bathroom, and even then he didn't even regard her, only to tease and start an argument. He never staired at her though, so why was he now? She began to think she was over thinking things just because she didn't want to think about the wedding, even though it was after the war, which really no one knew when it would exactly take place, she couldn't think about it.

"While you boys find Romainia to be a splendid place for a wedding, I'm sure Hermione has her input too," Ginny said taking a sip of her pumkin jucie.

"yeah 'Mione, you are the bride to be, aren't you supposed to have been planning this stuff since you were five?" Ron joked, but only he and Harry found it funny.

"unlike most girls, Ronald, I was too busy reading books at five to plan my wedding," she retorted, but she was lieing. She had been planning her wedding since she was five, it would be more of a muggle wedding, only because she had always dreamed of one.

"I always said you were unusual," Ron replied rolling his eyes.

"now you're starting to sound like Malfoy," Hermione replied which made Ron shut up immediately. Malfoy was his sworn mortal enemy, he was to all of them, the name was just repulsive. As the guys moved onto other conversation topics, Hermione sat there her chin resting on her hand. She looked towards Malfoy again, this time she would stare.

At the moment, he had his infamous smirk on his face, and he was laughing at something someone said. she watched his motions as he ate and talked. Almost every girl in the whole school wanted to be her, she was the only one who shared a common room and a bathroom with him. They hadn't had any close encounters yet with the bathroom they shared, but Hermione was just waiting for one to occur. She had to admit to her self that Malfoy was attractive, she found it hard to think that, but his angular face and platinum blonde hair gave him an almost endering appearnce. What Hermione found most attractive about Malfoy's face though, was his eyes. his stormed colored eyes that she swore gave away his deepest emotions. They were an enchanting silver color, that could scare a man to death, but Hermione knew just as much as they could scare, they could love. She laughed when she thought this.

'Malfoy, love? What am I thinking, that boy can't love, he's encapable of it. he wouldn't know what love was if it hit him in the face, kind of like Voldemort,' Hermione thought and couldn't help hide a smile that appered on her face at this remark she had remained to her self. Maybe Voldemort and Malfoy were more alike than she thought, or atleast cared too.

Just as she smiled though, Malfoy who had been acting as if he was in the conversation with his immediate table look back over to Hermione, only this time to find her stairing at him and smiling. As soon as she realized they had made eye contact she quickly turned away, his stormy eyes piercing her soul. She had been right, Malfoy was completely incapable of love.

Malfoy watched what Hermione's next actions were.

'why was mudblood stairing at me?' he wondered to himself. He turned back to Goyle, but he watched her threw his phierpral vision. Hermione still felt his gaze on her.

'maybe I am blwoing this whole thing out of proportion,' she thought as she turned to Harry. 'maybe I am just so bored with this talk about weddings that I am making things up about Malfoy.' But something deep down told her she wasn't.

"ready for class?" Harry asked as he turned to meet Hermionie's face. She looked down at her watch. There was twenty minutes till class started, it was Transfiguration. But she knew what Harry wanted to do.

"yes," she said standing up. Ron and Ginny rolled their eyes at the looked at their watches. They were used to this, had been for years.

Harry led Hermione out of the Great Hall, they held hands and walked down the corridor's until they came to the one holding the room of their Transfiguration class. they made sure no one was around before Harry pulled Hermione into the shadow's of an hall way and wrapped his arms around her.

"are you okay?" he asked before they began snogging.

"of course I am," she lied, but she was a good liar.

"you just seemed off since Potions and what Snape did to you, he's a royal prick," Harry said brushing some hair out of Hermionie's face.

"well I was just a little shook up, I mean Snape did hold my hand," she said raising her hand from his shoulder and shuddering at the thought of his cold hands on hers. They both laughed and Harry kissed each figner on that hand.

"but other wise, I'm fine. Better now," she said and they began to make out. Harry was so gentle with her, he always was. He made her feel special with the way that he kissed her. She loved the way he held her when they made out, and when they made love. When he kissed her she didn't worry about anything, the world was pushed away. he was gentle and sweet, good and pure, something that was rare in this day and age. They spent a good fifteen mintues snogging in the hallway until they were interrupted by a look of disgust.

"Pothead, Muddblood," Malfoy's voice echoed as he saw them just past the shadow's. they both pulled away from one another and, holding hands, they turned to him.

"what do you want Malfoy?" Harry asked, rolling his eyes at his sight.

"five points from Gryffendor for Snogging in the hall way, such things should be done in private. You're lucky I don't tell McGonigal of your little escapades with Potter here Granger, you'd be stripped of your badges," he wrelished at the thought of Hermione not being allowed to have the one thing she wanted the most. It infuriated him that they were snogging in the hall's. had they know regard for others?

"you wish," Hermione said and holding Harry's hand stormed off to class Dragging Harry with her. Malfoy stood there and took in a deep breath. Her perfume still present in the air. It made his knee's go weak, which just made him more angry. How could he be attracted to her? He wasn't, he loathed her, and her looks, and her scent, and everything and anything about her.

He stormed off to class, knowing his mood would completely miserable for the rest of the day, regardless of all the teasing he could and would do.


	4. Chapter 4

**thank you to all of you who reviewed!! keep up the good work!! i would just like to say that i began writing this story sometime ago and then i stopped when i ran out of inspiration. so here's what i'm thinking. i will post as much as the story that i have, and then if people wish to give me suggestions of what they want to happen to the characters, i can possibly incorporate them into the story. i have a few endings in mind and im not sure which one i want to go with yet... but the ending isnt for some time, so for now, read, review, and enjoy! oh, p.s- i will indicate when i start writing new stuff.**

"are you sure you don't want me to come in?" Harry asked as he and Hermione stood in front of the portrait to the Head's Dorms.

"I'll be fine Harry, he can't do anything to me," she said and kissed him. "I'll meet you in the Great Hall at dinner."

"I love you," Harry said and kissed her again.

"I love you too," she replied. She watched as Harry walked away before she stated the password and walked through the portrait. When she wasn't talking, or thinking about the wedding, she loved to be with Harry, everything that had attracted him to her still remained true five years later. His looks, and personality, and courage, and resilance. She knew Harry was the kind of guy every girl wanted, someone who truly loved her, she thought her self to be the luckiest girl that he felt the same way, but at the same time, how come she couldn't picture it? Hermione was the kind of girl who picutured what she wanted, lived life through images in her head, yet she couldn't picture Harry at her wedding, and it scared her, terrified her to even admit it, so she didn't. or tried not to.

as she rounded the corner into the common room, she immedaitly heard moans of pleasure and instinctively put her hand to her eyes as she saw Malfoy and some sixth year Ravenclaw making out passionately and undressing each other. The girls was standing in her skirt and bra, while Malfoy's shirt had been torn off of him and his pants hung around his ankles. His hands were just moving for her bra when Hermione walked in.

"Malfoy, what the hell do you think you are doing?" she screamed at him. Malfoy and the Ravenclaw parted, the girl looked embaressed. She quickly grabbed her shirt and put it on.

"I think its pretty explainable Granger," he replied, he had been so furious earlier that he had to release in some girl, she was the first one that he found. Hermione peeled her hand away from her eyes and had to force her self not to stare at Malfoy's chest. It was so well sculpted everything about his upper body was, and suddenly she could see why every girl threw them selves at him, Draco Malfoy was definitely the most handsom man and Hogwarts, easy.

Mentally slapping her self for thinking that and pulling her gaze up to meet his eyes, he had a smirk of satisfaction, as he opened his mouth to make a comment, Hermione beat him to it.

"I suggest that you get back to your dorm unless you would like me to inform McGonagal of your actions with Mr. Malfoy here," Hermione said in her most 'Head-Girlish' way possible. The girl nodded, realizing she was off the hook and with a wink from Malfoy left the common room through the portrait. Malfoy had leaned down and picked up his pants, buttoning them and fixing his belt.

"you're even luckier that I don't tell McGonigal," Hermione said the idea of him not being Head-Boy pleasing her to no extent.

"you wouldn't do it," he said knowing he was stairing at his chest. He didn't care if he was staring at his worst enemy, no girl could resist his muscles.

"one more act like that Malfoy, and I'll make sure I do it," she said, peeling her gaze away from his abs and heading for the stairs to her bed-room. She only reached the first stair when he spoke.

"I never did get to congratulate Potty and you on your engagement," he said and her blood went cold, some how, having someone outside of her circle of friends say it made it feel like she was a plagued with a disease. She turned around and forced her self to look at him in the eyes. he wore the expression he always wore when he was trying to bug her. Smirk plastered to his face, eyes stormy and meanacing. He would have usually been crossing his arms at this moment, but Hermione knew he wasn't just so that she could keep her eyes on his chest.

"listen hear you little ferret," she said walking off the step and standing in front of him. He was taken aback by her comment.

"when did we start to get into name calling, Mudblood," he said and watched her nose scrunch up as she tried to control her anger, how she hated this man with a passion.

"I don't want any congratulations from you Malfoy," she said stairing into his eyes.

"now here-here," he said placing his hand on her shoulder. It was the first time he had touched the girl in seven years, her touch was so warm and comforting, at that moment he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her. But she pulled away before he even got the chance to take the fantasy any farther in his head.

"don't touch me," she said in such a way that a person would have Malfoy's touch toxic.

"Granger you and I both know that you don't want any congratulations from me only because by doing so you realize what your missing out from," he said and as much as her eyes wanted to travel down his body, she kept them glaring into Malfoy's eyes.

"lets see Malfoy, I'm missing out on a pig-headed, pureblooded, inbred, spoiled little brat who has absolutely no regard for anyone but him self, almost the spitting image of his father!" Hermione cried and Malfoy became more enraged then he ever thought possible.

"what did you just call me you filthy mudblood?" he screamed at her, almost scaring her.

"I'm not afaraid of you Malfoy, don't think I am. You know exactly what I said, and you know exactly well that its true!" Hermione screamed back at him. Malfoy wanted to grab her arms and slap her, it took everything in his body not to do so.

"if I ever hear you insult my family, or another pureblood wizard again Granger, you'll regret it," he said his voice coming back down to its normal tone again. Hermione rolled her eyes and turned for the stairs, he wouldn't touch her, couldn't, Harry would kill him within an instant if he did.

"what ever you say Ferret," she replied as she began walking up the stairs. Malfoy followed suit.

"and Granger," he began. "don't think I didn't catch you stairing at me, you like what you see?" he said knowing it would really get to her. Hermione was blushing so much now that she was just glad she was not facing him.

"don't put your self too high on a pedastool Malfoy, Harry has a better package than you any day," she said, knowing men were sensitive about that. Malfoy knew she was lieing, but had to cover his bases to be sure.

"Granger no man, not even Potter would want to take _you_ to bed," he said, knowing Girls were sensitive about their image. Hermione turned around as she reached her door.

"you'd be surprised Malfoy, just how many men would," she opened the door to her room. "and Malfoy, keep your personal affairs in the privacy of your own room, for everyone's sake," Hermione said and closed the door in his face.

'Had Granger and Potter had sex together?' Malfoy thought as he slammed the door shut to his room. It was decorated in his house colors, with a queen sized bed. He flopped down of it, filled with emotions of rage, embaressment, longing and lust, not a good combonation in his book. 'Granger had sex? She wouldn't, to virginal to do such a thing,' he decided and closed his eyes. a little nap before dinner was what he needed to get the thoughts of her out of his head.

Across the hall Hermione stand with her back against the door, she listened until she heard Malfoy's slam shut.

'I put him in his place,' she thought with a smile as she walked to her desk to begin some home work. She had lied though, not that it mattered, she won the fight, but Harry had no where near the package that Malfoy had. Malfoy was a head taller than Hermione, and his muscles in his chest in arms had looked so inviting. Harry was only just barely the same height as her, and although he was the strongest man she knew, had no where near the body shape that her enemy had. Hermione could only imagine what Draco's package was like, just looking at his chest led her to wonder what normal girls her age would. She blushed at the thought. While Harry wasn't lacking anything by any means, she was pretty sure he was nothing like Malfoy.

Hermione also thought about one of the last things she had said to Malfoy, about how many men wanted her. She had never told that to anyone, not even to Ginny, about all the times guys caught her alone and said that if she ever wanted a taste of something different or got lonely when Harry was gone, they would be more than happy to help out. Hermione didn't think she was pretty, average she guessed, but with the amount of guys that had come up to her, there had to be something attracting them to her. Her chest was average sized, a lot of girls in her year had a bigger chest, and otherwise Hermione didn't know what guys looked for when looking for a girl to bang, but she guessed personality and brain wasn't something on top of their list.

By the time that she had finished her Home work, it was time for dinner. Hermione organized her school work before running a brush threw her hair, as she opened her bedroom door she was met by a rejunivated looking Malfoy, his hand in a fist as if he was about to knock on the door.

"what?" she said, surprised to see him there. They had had more conversation today than they had had all week long.

"I was letting you know dinner was about to start, I didn't know if you fell asleep or not," he said, and realized how soft that made him sound. "I didn't need you complaining when we did rounds tonight," he added. Hermione stood there hiding the expression of dumbfoundness that she was sure plastered on her face.

"thanks for caring Malfoy, but I'm a big girl, I can take care of my self," she said and with that closed her door and walked past him and down the stairs and out to the portrait, pushing Malfoy's actions out of her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

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"I think there should be French food," Ron said as he stuffed his mouth full of yams and potatoes. "French or Thai." Ever since Hermione had walked into the Great Hall, this was all they had talked about, the wedding. She had begun to scream in her head for them to shut up, for them just to talk about something else. Anything else. She asked her self over and over why they kept talking about it, and she had the answer; because it's the only good thing in a time of sorrow and sadness.

The thing was that it only made her more depressed to think about. She thought longingly to the year before when Harry and her would intertwine their fingers under the table or play footsie, this hadn't happened yet this year, and she longed for it. she stared at her engagement ring as the boys talked, how it sparkled in the candle light, it was beautiful. She put her hand down on the table, and subtly turned the diamond so that it faced the underside of her hand.

"so Hermione, how's the postion of head girl?" Ginny asked, sensing that Hermione was bored with the subject.

"interesting," she said looking at Ginny and silently thanking her, Ginny understood. "you'll never guess what I walked into today," she said a smile creeping on her lips.

"what?" Ron asked again, stuffing his mouth.

"Malfoy and some Ravenclaw," she said and Ginny blushed, both Harry and Ron choked on food and drink.

"what?" Ron asked pounding his chest to get the food down.

"yup, in our common room," Hermione smiled as she took a sip of pumkin juice.

"what year was the girl?" Ginny asked, it was more girl talk than things she would share with a guy, but anything was better than the wedding.

"sixth, she had black hair," Hermione said recalling her face. Ginny turned around and looked up and down the bench of the Raven Claw's.

"Rachel Miller," she said with a defiant smile. "she's banged every guy in Ravenclaw at least twice," Ginny said giving her the down and dirty.

"Ginny Weasely, I never want to hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, do you understand me?" Ron said his ears growing red.

"oh grow up Ron," Hermione and Ginny said together, only to make him more red.

"so did you bust him?" Harry asked as Hermione turned towards him.

"Malfoy?" she asked and he nodded with anticipation.

"I let him off with a warning," she replied as she pushed some food around her plate.

"what?!" Harry said a little loudly causing a couple heads to turn their direction, she looked up at him.

"what?" she said taken aback by his response.

"Malfoy takes five points from Gryffendor for me snogging you, and you don't even turn him into McGonagal for shagging some sixth year in the common room?" he was almost enraged. Apparently Harry hated Malfoy more than Hemrione realized.

"Oh Harry, I wasn't going to turn him in first offence," she said playing it off like it was nothing. Ron and Ginny sat there watching this conversation with deep attention.

"yet you don't even try to tell him off when he takes five points from our house for a kiss?" he said, and she realized what he was doing.

"Harry? Are you implying something here?" she asked becoming much more defensive. Both their voices raising.

"should I be?" he replied, he knew people were watching him, he didn't care.

"of course not, Harry I love you. I would never cheat on you, and with Malfoy? Are you serious?" she said half laughing, half angry.

"you live together," he said slightly lower, and she realized just how jealous he was of Malfoy.

"so? Do you really think I enjoy living with the ferret?" she asked him, her voice lowering now. She was still upset with him, but trying to mask it away in her voice.

"I just feel like I should be there to protect you," he said lowering his head. Hermione picked it up with her fingers.

"Harry, all he says to me is his normal stuff, I'm a big girl, I can take care of my self," she said, 'boy,' she thought. 'am I using this line a lot tonight or what?'

"but you live with him Hermione, you share a bathroom with him," he said lowering his voice even more. She couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Harry, trust me, you don't have to worry about that. if he even tries anything I will hex him into the next semester," she said and with a smile kissed him on the lips. "I would never do anything to hurt you Harry."

"I know you wouldn't," he said and kissed her back. As she pulled away from the kissed and sat facing the other side of the room on the bench, she looked directly at Draco Malfoy. They held each other's gaze for a second before he broke it, she wanted to read into his expression, but she had been to surprised to find him stairing at her yet again that she didn't have time to examine it. but she was positive, Malfoy stairing at her. The rest of the evening she found her eyes kept drifiting back to Malfoy and she watched him as he sat at his table with his friends. they had held each other's gaze a few more seconds that night, but one of them had always broke it before they could really read into each other.

Hermione had a half hour before she had to patrol the halls with Malfoy, she and Harry had snuck off down the halls, going for a stroll before curfew, they stopped near a favorite portrait of Hermionie's. Harry put his hands around her waist pulling her closer to him and Hermione threw her arms around his neck, almost like they were dancing.

"I'm sorry I was mean to you at dinner," Harry said as they swayed with the music that only they heard.

"don't be silly Harry," Hermione said, but she had been a little ticked off, did he think he couldn't trust her. Five years of devoition, she had never looked at another man, and he questioned her about Malfoy. 'okay, well there was this afternoon, with his chest, but that didn't count,' Hermione reassured her self. "infact I find it slightly charming."

"you do?" Harry said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"yes, my night in shining armor wanting to stand up for his damsel in distress, I know you would be there with in a minute if I needed you," she said, and as the music ended in their heads he dipped.

"I'd be there in a second," he whispered into her ear and they kissed. They began to snog, he ran his fingers threw her curly but soft hair. she tousled his already bed-head raven colored hair.

"shall I take another five points off?" Malfoy's voice said as he stepped feet away from Hermione and Harry. They broke apart and rested on each other's foreheads.

"considering, Malfoy, what happened today in the common room, I think you're lucky that Hermione doesn't turn your badge in," Harry said looking directly into Hermione's eyes. he stood there almost speechless, angry that Hermione had said anything to him.

"Granger, I thought that was private," he said tensing up.

"you were quite open about it," she said peeling her gaze away from Harry and turning it towards Malfoy.

"and you seemed to enjoy it," he said reffering to her stares at his chest. He assumed the postion of the Malfoy she knew all to well, arms crossed, smirk plastard on his face, eyes, pure evil. At the sound of his comment Harry grip loosened on Hermionie's hand, but she squeezed it tight.

"how could I enjoy anything about you Malfoy?" she asked as Malfoy walked up to her.

"your lips say one thing Granger, but your eyes say something compeltly different," he said he was inches away from her, she felt his hot breath on her nose. She relased her hand from Harry's and with as much force as she could muster she pushed him back, making him stumble but he caught his balance.

"well maybe you need to get your eyes checked, I wouldn't look at another man, espically a ferret like you, even if you were the last man on earth," she said and turned to Harry who was extremely proud of his girl.

"I'd watch it Mudblood," he said and Harry almost attacked him. Harry's wand was at Malfoy's throat before anyone of them realized anything.

"what did you call her?" Harry asked.

"Mudblood, and I'd call her it again, mudblood," he said with a smile, he knew Harry wouldn't do anything ot him, he couldn't.

"Harry stop it," she said raising her hand to his arm and pulling it down. "he's not worth the energy." Harry looked from her to Malfoy and back again. "you should go back to the tower, I'll meet you for breakfast in the Great Hall," she said and kissed him gently on the lips.

"night Hermione, I love you," he said, accentuating the word Love.

"I love you to Harry," she said in a monotone voice. Malfoy and Hermione watched as Harry stalked off up to the towers for the night before they started walking around the halls in silence like they did every night up until this one.

"did you really have to tell him?" Malfoy asked as they rounded a corner.

"you didn't expect me to keep it a secret Malfoy?" she said almost amazed at how much it mattered to him. He muttered something under his breath that she swore she heard, 'ungreatful mudblood,' but deicded not to mention it. they continued walking in silence, everything was ususal just like it was everyother night.

"why were you stairing at me at lunch, and dinner?" Hermione asked, a question that had been bugging her.

"I think the better question was why were you stairing at me?" Malfoy replied, caught off guard by her question.

"I asked you first," she replied, they hadn't looked at each other at all as they talked, just looked straight ahead.

"you were just an object in my line of vision," he said. "did you think I was stairing at you?" he laughed, although it was a fake laugh, but he knew she didn't know the difference.

"so what were you stairign at, the wall?" she asked recalling what was behind her. She stopped and turned to look at him, unsure of why she was doing it.

"there is a window behind you Granger, don't fancy your self to much," he smirked but stopped along with her. "now my turn, why were you stairing at me?" she looked at his stormy eyes, they were so beautiful, she pushed the thought away and continued walking.

"I was stairing at the wall Malfoy," she said and a smile curled onto her face that he couldn't see. She realized what she was doing, but at the same time had no idea of the implications it had on her or him. She was merely trying to get him stuck in his lie.

"wall must have been pretty interesting then," he said catching up the few steps she had made away from him.

"you would know Malfoy, you would know," she replied as they reached the area where they had started from. She turned in the direction of their common rooms.

"I'm going to slytherine for a little while before I go to bed," he told her, almost reading her mind answering the question she had.

"night then," she replied, they weren't being nice, they still hated each other, they were just being civil.

"don't wait up for me," he added and she turned around, a smile on her face at his comment and rolled her eyes.

"trust me, I wont," she said and headed up the stair case that led to their common room.

'what am I doing?' she screamed at herself once she knew Malfoy wasn't stairing at her anymore. She walked into the common room and upstairs to her bedroom to quickly change into her night clothes. She was being civil with Malfoy, but their was something nagging at her for being so.


	6. Chapter 6

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'what am I doing?' Malfoy asked himself the same question as he pounded down the dungeon stairs and said the password for the Slytherine portrait to open. He had the same nagging feeling as Hermione.

'I don't like her, and even if I did, I can't have her. Plus she doesn't want me, so what am I doing? But she was doing the same thing, what are we doing?' he asked himself as he walked into the common room.

"oh thank Merlin Malfoy, its just you," Crabbe said as about five people hid their shotglasses of fire whiskey thinking it was Snape.

"what are you moron's still doing up?" Malfoy asked as took a seat next to Goyle who handed him a glass and the bottle of the Fire Whiskey, he needed it right now.

"just a celebration Drakie, this is our last year at Hogwarts, we thought it right to party a little every now and then," Pansy said standing up from the couch and walking over and sitting on his lap. If Malfoy ever had a girl friend, one could assume that Pansy Parkinson was that girl, but Malfoy loathed her. She was too clingy, and she gave her self to every man that wanted her. She knew of Malfoy's emotions for her, but still tried to convince him that he loved her.

"get off me Pansy," he said giving her a little push. With a hurt face she stood and walked back to the couch, the others holding in htier laughter.

"how's Head boy duty with the Mudblood?" Blaise Zabini asked. Malfoy took a sip of the drink, it warmed his body immedaitly.

"how do you think it's going, book worm Granger and her rules, stupid prick," Malfoy said rolling his eyes and leaning his head back on the chair. It felt god to be in this common room again, he did have to say he missed it.

"you know how to shut her up," Crabbe said and everyone snickered. Malfoy didn't feel like talking about Hermione anymore, so he moved on.

"so Goyle, you never finished telling us about your summer with, what was that girls name?" Malfoy said.

"Magdalana," Goyle said and the rest of their group watched as he took a breath saying her name, the look of love on his face.

"how many times did you bang her?" Crabbe asked and their group laughed.

"I stopped counting after ten, but it wasn't easy," Goyle said.

"Goyle, it doesn't take much effort, even a stupid prick like you can do that," Pansy said cruely, normaly Goyle would have given a remark, but not tonight, his thought were with his beloved.

"that's not what I mean, I had to win her love and affection," Goyle said throwing a look of evil eyes in Pansy's direction. Conversation began to move onto other topics, but Malfoy was stuck on what Goyle said. he leaned over when he was sure no one was listening or watching them.

"so tell me about this magadalana girl," Malfoy said.

"oh Malfoy, she's beautiful," he said rummaging threw his robe pockets looking for a picture he kept with him. He showed it to Malfoy, and he had to bite his lip to stop from laughing.

"you defiantly have a catch there Goyle," Malfoy said, he thought the girl was down right ugly.

"thanks Draco," Goyle said putting the picture back into his robe.

"so what did you mean you had to win her love and affection?" Malfoy asked curious.

"she was dating another wizard, lousy jerk the guy was, but she loved him anyway. It took me a good couple of weeks to make her understand what a prick the other guy was and that I would never do anything to harm her," Goyle said, he was happy someone cared about him and his girl.

"what did you do?" Malfoy asked.

"flirted, you know the normal stuff," Goyle replied and Malfoy was getting ticked with his answers.

"could you go into detail Goyle, or is it impossible for you?" Malfoy asked.

"well, I was very nice and polite to her, and around her. I made a lot of eye contanct when we were at the same place. I was there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on," he said recalling the different ways he had won her love and affection.

"all the mushy stuff I would never do," Malfoy said aloud and to no one in paticular.

"why Draco, is there a girl that's caught your eye?" Goyle asked and Malfoy didn't reply, only drank his remaining fire whiskey.

He stayed there for another half hour before reuturnign to his common room. Idea's swirling around his head. Did he want to win Granger, no, she wasn't that big of a prize. A couple of night's maybe, it was conveint sure, but he decided that it wasn't worth his reputation just to get some girl, they all flocked to him anyway.

'except her,' he thought as he walked threw the portrait. He walked into the common room and found her asleep on the couch, of course she had been reading a book, it now lay open on her chest. He stood there and watched her as she slept. She looked so divine. She was wearing night shorts and a long sleeved grey top. She was like an angel when she slept.

'what am I saying?' he thought smacking his head. He began to head up the stiars to go to sleep, but that same nagging feeling made him turn around and walk over to the couch.

"Granger," he said softly. "Granger." He shook her a little but she didn't even stir. He slid his arms under her knees and neck. She was lighter than he expected. It felt so right to be holding her as he began to climb the stairs, like this was the first good thing in his life, his life of terror and evil.

"Harry," she whispered and turned in Malfoy's arms placing her hand on his touch. It made him shudder with excitement. Her touch felt amazing.

"don't get to comfy Granger," he said and her eyes fluttered open, a look of fear on them.

"Malfoy?" she said, she had thought she would wake in the arms of her raven haired lover, but rather was in the arms of the platinum blonde enemey. "put me down, what did you think you were doing?" she screamed as she tried to get out of his arms. He held her tighter to make sure she wouldn't fall as he placed her down.

"I didn't think you would want to sleep on the couch," he said truthfully. He had his hands on her arms. She was shocked at his statement, but tried to hide it.

"you could have woken me," she insisted, she knew his hands were on her arms, but she didn't tell him to get off, not yet.

"you sleep like a rock," he replied, his hands traveled down her arms, causing her chills, and he touched her hands before removing them from her body. He couldn't but help notice that her platinum engagement ring was turned over on her finger.

"don't touch me again Malfoy," she said and stared into his eyes expecting to see evil back, but she didn't. she saw compassion, and it terrfied her.

"try to do a girl a favor and they freak out," Malfoy said rolling his eyes, he was never going to win her affection.

"well I'm sorry if waking up in the arms of my enemey wasn't exactly a little scary. I'm shocked you didn't burn to death because of the skin contact," Hermione added, more annoyed. The compassion was gone from his eyes.

"watch it Mudblood, and I fix my ring to, wouldn't want Potter to jump to any drastic measures to know his one and only wasn't feeling the same way," he saidsmirking and turning and walking into his room.

"Harry would never think that," she said turning the ring around on her finger. He slammed the door shut to his room. "And what would make you think I feel the same way?" she said opening it up just in time for Malfoy to discard his shirt.

"just a guess mudblood, but it seems that I have hit a nerve," he said removing his pants. He slept in his boxers, if she wanted to join him, so be it.

"you are a foul human being, who doesn't deserve anything that you have. I hate you," she stated and turned around slamming his door shut. But there was something they both realized was different about her yelling at him. She was emphatic about it, over-emphasizing it if it was possible. Malfoy brushed it off as Hermione just being pissed, but Hermione worried. She walked into her room and threw her self onto her bed.

'Malfoy was just jerking around with me,' she convinced her self as she closed her eyes to try and get some sleep. But she worried he knew something she didn't. she would never tell anyone her fear of getting married to Harry, and if Malfoy could read it on her face, could everyone else?


	7. Chapter 7

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A week had passed since that night when he had carried her to her bedroom. They hadn't talked much since then, fought less than usual, but just kept their distance. Living together had made them both realize that even if they couldn't stop hating each other, they had to be a little more civil than they had been in previous years.

Tonight though, Hermione was in an empty state. Harry had left that afternoon with Ron on a mission that of course they had kept her out of the loop of. Harry promised her that he'd be home soon, a couple days at most, and they had spent a few good hours together before he left.

"I love you Hermione," he said as she stood at the entrance hall to the school and he held her in his arms.

"I love you to Harry, please, take care of your self," she begged him holding a tear back. He squeezed her and kissed her one more time.

"I always do," he said. she smiled as she parted from him and looked to Ron who stood there trying to fade into the wood work for this very intimate moment.

"and you," she said and threw her arms around Ron. "I want you back in one piece too. I need you two men in my life," she laughed a little.

"don't worry Hermione, will both be back," he said and gave her a little squeeze. She kissed him on the cheek and he smiled. She watched as the two boys walked past the gates and apparted away into the unkown.

Hermione had been replaying these moments in her head all evening. It was Sunday night, and she sat in her common room. She had not seen Malfoy all day, and did not care to. she was extermly content with a fire, some pumkin juice and a deck of playing cards she had brought to school with her this year.

Being to tired to read, she had dealt what was possibly her twentith round of solitare that night. she wore her same night clothes, her bed shorts and grey long sleeved shrit, and had her hair up in a loose pony tail on the top of her head. As she beagn the game knowing she would loose, she let her mind think about other things than spades and clubs, and Harry and Ron; and almost immediately regretted it.

She looked to the couch where Malfoy had left his potions book. his hand writing all over the book as he had taken notes to help him remember short cuts to make difficult potions. Hermione reached over to grab the book, careful not to loose his page. Her book was identical, yet holding his if felt like a different subject entirely. The book reminded her of the one Harry had used the year before, the Prince's book. Hermione would have said it was Malfoy's, but their handwriting was extremely different and Malfoy's shortcuts were nothing like the princes.

She thought about Malfoy some more. Apart from seeing each other in classes, they had done a good job avoiding one another, or if having to be in the same room keeping the arguments to only the few important things that had to be argued about.

Hermione recalled all their meals in the Great Hall though, and how she had caught Malfoy stairing at her every time. At first she had been bothered by this. She was sure he was trying to freak her out, but then he had caught her stairing at him and had only smirked back. The few seconds they glanced at one another had turned longer and longer each time, but they both broke their gaze with in five seconds. They had become able to mask their faces, making it completely unable to read what the other was thinking. This was war, and they had their battle strategies.

"loose your potions book Mudblood?" Malfoy asked as he walked in the common room, watching Hermione finger threw his copy of the book. she jumped at his voice and quickly placed the book back upon the couch.

"I just wanted to look something up," she said looking into his eyes, but quickly turning around to face the fire and her solitare game, a feeling of guilt and relief flew threw out her body. He scoffed at her remark and made his way upstairs to change. He thought it was cute how red she had turned when she realized he was standing there.

'wait, Hermione Granger cute? No,' he said. he agreed with himself that he had been happy with the look on her face when he embarrassed her. 'yes, that's what it was.'

Walking down the stairs again, he carried his back pack with him. He still had to finish his charms homework and was not looking forward to it this Sunday night.

Hermione heard him walk downt he stairs and sit on the couch, but he did not say naything, and neither did she. She worked at winning the impossible card game she was playing at the moment.

The silence continued to build for a while. It was the early morning, but neither of them were tired. Malfoy finished his work and happily tucked it into his satchel, he rested his head against the couch back and watched as she worked with muggle playing cards.

He had been watching her the past hour and a half, constantly shuffeling, dealing, cursing under her breath, and then repeating the process. He tried to understand the game she was playing, but all he saw was the colors red and black being repeated, he didn't even understand how the game could be played with one person. He watched as her hands moved the cards around, and she either got a smile or a frown on her face depending on her latest move.

Hermione felt his eyes on her, and as much as she wanted to tell him to buzz off, it felt comforting. She knew he was probolly watching her with wonder in what she was doing, but still, it felt good to have him watch her. Hermione had been watching Malfoy every now and then when he wasn't looking. Many times she had to hold a laugh back because he would make a complete fool of himself but since no one was around it was okay.

Malfoy had watched Hermione also when she wasn't aware. He mostly watched her when she did her homework, they way her face would contort into a deep concentration, unaware of the whole world around her. How her hair would hang around past her shoulders, and the little breaths of frustration she would let out when something was paticulary challenging. He found himself aching for her sometimes, but as soon as he realized it he pushed the emotion away, he didn't mean it, of course he didn't mean it.

"why do you do that?" Malfoy asked, he hadn't even realized he voice his question out loud.

"do what?" she asked him but continued playing her card game.

"with your ring," he said and she looked to her ring. She had been turning it around constantly, taking it off and then putting it back on. She hadn't even realized she had been doing it.

"bad habit?" she responded to his question with her own. Malfoy got off the couch and sat in front of Hermione. She looked up at him with a quissical face.

"Potty and Weasel leave today?" he asked crossing his legs Indian style.

"that's none of your business," Hermione replied looking down at the cards.

"jeez, just trying to make some civil conversation here," Malfoy replied rolling his eyes, but he continued to look at her. She felt his eyes stairing at her, and she loved it, and at the same time hated admitting it. she slowly raised her head and looked at him.

"yes," she said in a slightly lower tone.

"where did they go?" he asked, simply continuing the conversation. She began laughing when he asked her this. "what?" he said a little harshly.

"I'll be honest Malfoy, I don't know, and even if I did, I would defienitly not tell _you_," she said once her breathing started to become even. He was hurt, but tried not to show it.  
"whats that supposed to mean?" he asked as she put a card down.

"why would I tell you, Draco Malfoy, death eater, where Harry Potter, the chosen one would be and what he is doing?" she asked with an expression of "duh" on her face.

"I could see that, but why would you not tell me Draco Malfoy, class mate, where Harry Potter, the other class mate was?" Malfoy responded and she rolled her eyes.

"because you hate him, and he hates you," she said and he nodded his head in agreement.

"fair enough," he replied, then after a minute, with out realizing that he spoken the words he said. "do we hate each other?"

"do we?" she responded after a moment of contemplation, and the mere fact that she had answered saying what she had sparked an understanding of these new feelings betweent the two of them.

They were by no means best friends, but they weren't arch enmies anymore either. as Hermione continued to play her game, and Malfoy watched her, they let the warmth of the fire fill their bodies. For Malfoy it was the first time he ever experienced this feeling, he wasn't sure what it was, but he knew when Hermione had responded something was there. Something that brought both of them together though they did not know, and were afraid to find out what it was.

For Hermione, the warm feeling inside of her was a rebirth. She hadn't felt like this so long, she recognized what this warm feeling was. It was affection and firey passion, and it had been years since she experienced it. she had never realized though, that fire that once roared inside her, had overtime, simply become a few embers fighting for surivial. As she sat there talking civily to Malfoy, and as he watched her play, the fire was resparked, and it was now building intently. It felt so good, so right, and at the same time she was terrfied. Why now, why him? Why was she feeling like this with Malfoy, while all the while she thought she had been feeling like this with Harry.

"yes!" she screamed and jumped up from her sitting postion. Malfoy stared at her, his mouth agape a little.

"what?" he asked as she sat back down, slightly embarrassed but at the same time extatic.

"I won!" she smiled at him, it was a smile that made him melt inside, but he reinforced his defences as he was known to do.

"its not very hard to win a game when you're the only one playing," he said and Hemrione couldn't help but laugh at him. From the outside looking in he was right, but he honestly had no idea.

"you wouldn't know Malfoy," she said and shuffled the cards proud of her self.

"can I play with you?" he asked, he sounded like a young child when he said this, but he had to muster up the courage to ask her.

"umm, I don't see why not, but we'll have to play a different game," she said thinking out loud. "go fish?"

"what?" he asked her raising an eyebrow and questioning her sanity. She couldn't help but laugh. Hermione knew she wounldnt being seeing this face on Malfoy anytime soon, it just added embers to the new flames.

Hermione began explaining the cards to him, Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs, and Spades. Kings, queens, and jacks. She explained to him the rules.

"easy," he said as she began to deal the cards. He picked them up and stared with wonder and sickness. He Draco Malfoy was playing a muggle game, what was wrong with him?

"do you have any fours?" Hermione asked. They continued playing, it was one of the longest games of Go Fish Hermione had ever played, neck and neck.

'Malfoy is a quick study,' she thought to her self.

"what do we do now?" he asked once they were both out of cards.

"we count points," she said and told him the value of each card. "whats your score?"

"85," he replied thinking it was pretty good. "yours?" he smirked.

"125," she said with a huge smile. She was expecting Malfoy to be a sore looser, and be mean and scornful, but he was not.

"I let you win," he joked, almost letting a smile come on to his face.

"because that's just how much of a gentleman you are?" she asked rolling her eyes.

"exactly," he said and she yawned. She piled the cards together and put them back into the box.

"I'm exhausted," she said standing.

"me too," he said and followed her actions, they began to walk up the stairs and he looked at her legs. They were so smooth, he wanted nothing more but to caress them with his hands and lips. "hey Granger." She turned around. "I'm not a death eater," he said raising his shirt so she could see his left forearm. "at least not yet."

Her gaze went from his arm to his eyes.

"any chance we could recruit you to the light side before its too late?" she joked not really knowing what else to say. Why had he shown her his arm? Why did he care what she though, she wondered.

"its been too late for too long," he said and they both walked to their bedroom doors. The stood in the threshold, not willing to say goodnight just yet.

"shame," she gave a small smile, but was still questioning while all this conversation was transipiring.

"oh, and don't think that just because we were talking and hanging out that I like you or anything. I mean fights and name calling start with first class," he said, he was half joking and she knew. For yes, the fights and disagreements would continue, they both knew that, but there was something else that was being created with in them, and it thrilled and terrfied them both fro different reasons.

"I wouldn't have thought otherwise," she said and turned into her room.

"thanks for everything, Hermione," he said, and she stopped walking. She couldn't, he had just called her by her first name. she turned and smiled at him.

"night Draco," she said and closed her bedroom door. She had never heard her first name come out of his mouth before, she loved the sound of it. they way he pronounced every syllable so eloquently and regally, she felt important, special, when he had said that.

'I'm just blowing this _way_ out of proportion,' she said as she crawled into bed. First the realzation of non-hatred, then the act of playing cards, a muggle game, with him, then lack of a dark mark, but it being too late, and now her name. she was positive it was some evil joke he was playing on her, or a dream. She would wake up in the morning and be dreaming she deicded. That's what it had to be.

Draco did not know why he had called Hermione by her first name, but it felt right; and chills had run through out his body when she used his first name. the softness of her voice that she had used while speaking it was the frist time such a loving tenderness or care was used with his name, he loved that feeling, he loved hearing it come from her mouth. he wouldn't say it yet, even admit it to him self, but he thought he was beginning to love her.


	8. Chapter 8

**As always, Read, Review, and Enjoy!**

It had been a week and a half since Harry and Ron left, a week and a half since Hermione had played cards with Draco, and a week and a half filled with the biggest feeling of wonder she had ever experienced.

She wondered if Harry and Ron were okay. She wondered what they were doing, how far they had come since she had been pushed away from the hunt. She wondered about her feelings to Harry, she loved him unconditionally, but was it just that, she loved him and wasn't in love with him? But regardless he loved her, needed her, so what could she do? she wondered about Draco. She had barely talked to him since that night, and they hadn't been on a frist name basis either. she had seem him in classes and in the great hall, but they missed each other in the common room, as much as Hermione preffered it that way, she missed his presence.

As she sat at the Gryffendor table with Neville, the boy who Harry had instructed to take his place in his leave of absence, an owl that neither of them had seen before flew over to her. Taking the letter and breaking the owl off a piece of toast he flew away happy and content.

"whose it from?" Neville asked. Over the years he had matured. No longer the pudgy faced boy from first year, he was now the tall and handsome seventh year who many girls had a crush on. But Hermione knew he only had eyes for her, she loved Neville, and would always be good friends with him, but she never loved him that way. he was still awkward with girls and magic, and although his memory had improved, there were still shades of his old self in him. Hermione viewed Neville as a close second behind Harry and Ron. She had been quite use to his presence when Harry and Ron left, being really her only company besides from Ginny. They had spent many a night together working on battle strategies, trying to help Harry and Ron, doing homework together, and just talking and having fun. Neville was a strong person, and was a great fighter, he was a brick wall to her when Harry and Ron had gone off and when she had deep questions that no one could answer, she had voiced them to Neville. He rarely responded, for he knew she only needed to voice them, but when he did he spoke with eloquence and knowledge that Hermione didn't know he had.

"Harry," she said as she opened the letter and looked down to see who it was signed from.

"what does it say?" Neville asked peering over, pushing his breakfast off to the side.

"Dear Hermione, Ron and I are fine. Ron broke his arm, again, I fixed it well enough for now, but it needs your touch when we get home. I miss you more than anything in the world Hermione, you are my light, the fire from with in that keeps me going. I don't know when we will be back, but trust all is well. With much love and affection, Harry," Hermione read aloud and put the letter down on the table. Neville picked it up and reread it.

"well hopefully they'll be home soon," he said putting his hand on Hermionie's back comforting her. He thought her look of wonder was due to Harry and Ron's absence, and as much as she worried for them and wanted them back at the castle, it was more than that, but she wasn't able to him that yet.

"yes," Hermione said and turned back to her breakfast. As she did so her eyes landed upon Malfoy who was stairing at her. He had noticed the expression on her face, Hermione didn't feel like masking it. she nodded her head meaning everything was alright, answering his silent question with her own silent response. They continued to stare at each other, not trying to communicate anything, but just stairing longily into each other's eyes until breakfast was over and they went to their first class. Hermione and Neville took their seats in the front of the class, where as Malfoy and his friend took theirs at the back.

Hermioine, who always took the best notes and paied the closest attention to the teacher regardless of what was going on around her found her mind wandering and notes lacking that day in all her classes. Inside she was having a battle of her own. Should she let these feelings for Malfoy build, or push him away like he never sparked a fire within her and be Harry's 100. She had never cheated on anything or anyone in her life, and she didn't want to start. Harry would be devastated if he found out. If he was devastated because of her, he would surely die by Voldemort's own wand, not only causing the only love of her life to die, but dark magic to take over the magic world and cuasing the demise of everyone and everything she loved. No, she could not cheat on Harry, would not, refused to. but as she deicded this she felt a body brush past her, when she looked to see who it was, it was Malfoy. Immedaitly that flame was reinforced, she loved that feeling, needed that feeling. This is how you should feel with the person you love.

"Sorry Granger," he said with a smirk, but this smirk wasn't the meancing one that was usually platared to his face, it was pushing close to a smile. A sneaky smirk that meant that that had been intentional. She smiled back at him, matching his sneaky smile, not even realizing she was doing it.

"No problem Malfoy." They continued walking as they were and Hermione was thrown back into her arugment inside her head.

'I don't want to hurt Harry, he needs me too much, and I do love him. I am spending the rest of my life with him. That's just it, I'm spending the rest of my life with him, its only been him, i've never been with anyone else, not that I want to be, and with Malfoy of all people? Never, but then why do I have these sparks of emotions in me when he's around?' she asked her self and continued fighting.

'it doesn't matter,' she deicded after a few minutes as she reached the last class of the day. She sat down next Neville. 'I have to ignore these feelings of longing and want. I am Harry's, that's all I want to be. He had never lied or cheated on me, and not only do I not have the heart to do that to him, but I do love him. But the world is also depending on him, and he is depending on me.' she looked back over to Malfoy who was laughing at something Crabbe had said. she couldn't help but smile at him. He was mean and cruel, sure, but that's what attracted her to him now some what, knowing that all the anger and cruelty wasn't directed directly at her.

'Harry it is then,' she said and began to take notes as the professors spoke, forcing Malfoy as far from her mind as possible.


	9. Chapter 9

**you know the drill!!**

"do you want me to pick you up here, or meet you in the Great Hall for dinner?" Neville asked as he stood out front of the portrait that led to Hermionie's dorms.

"I'll meet you there Nev," she said and stood on her tip toes to kiss his cheek, he blushed. "Harry and Ron really don't know what they're missing out there on the battle field," she said reffering to Neville's desire to fight along side Harry, be another member of the trio. He blushed more feverntly at her comment, but brushed it aside.

"Oh Hermione, if you only knew," he said almost under his breath so that she could barely hear him.

"I'll see you at dinner Nev," she said and said the pass word to the portrait. It opened up and she walked in, followed immediately by Malfoy.

"where did you come from?" she asked as she walked over to the couch and flopped down.

"class, same as you," he replied taking off his robe and hanging it on a hook. He sat down in a chair and opened a few school books.

"you know Granger, you really shouldn't lead Longbottom on like that," he said as he began writing something on a piece of parchment.

"lead him on like what Malfoy?" Hermione demanded.

"he obviously fancies you, and your little act out there only made him realize what he couldn't have, quite cruel of you," Malfoy said smirk on his face. He was saying this only because he had been jealous of Longbottom, he had gotten to feel Hermionie's lips on his cheek, Draco only wished that he could feel that.

"Neville knows I wasn't being cruel, we are close friends, he knows that, he knows I love Harry, he knows I'm marrying him," she said her voice trailing off on the last part.

"still, close friend or not, you don't think he is jealous of Harry Potter?" Malfoy replied, he looked up at her, her brow's were furrowed with fury.

"Neville would never be jealous of Harry, he adores him, fights along side of him. So he fancies me, he'll get over it," she replied, she didn't feel like fighting now. She was too drained from the day, the battle with in, the worrying of Harry and Ron. As soon as she had decided it was Harry who she loved and wanted to spend her life with, she had spent the rest of the day worrying about him. Why weren't they back, they were never gone this long.

"its hard to get over things you want so badly, but can never have," Malfoy said, expressing his own emotions, he felt like slapping him self for saying this. 'never let them know a weakness!' he heard his father's words screaming inside his head.

"oh, and you would know this personally Malfoy?" Hermione asked raising an eyebrow. The man could have what ever his heart desired, in ways of products and people. He was filthy rich, and extremely powerful.

"perhaps I do Granger, everybody has desires," he said being a little overly zealous with his reply. She tried to look into his eyes, read his very emotions, but he turned his gaze away before she could. He knew she could read into him threw his eyes, for weren't they the windows to the soul. He couldn't let her know what he was feeling. That this jealousy that he had told her Neville had was what flowed through his veins, and that his only desire in life was to be with Hermoine Granger, to love her, and for her to love him back.

He was past the point of hiding his emotions to himself. There was no sense in it, hiding what he truly felt. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and snog the hell out of her, shag her even, but it took every bit of strength in him to keep himself from following his desires. He wasn't in love with her, not yet at least, but he wanted to be so badly. He was so jealous of Potter, that he wished Potter would die where ever he was, and that she would then turn to Malfoy for comfort and grieving and he could tell her how he felt.

Hermione went back to her work as did Malfoy, but she couldn't help but to think what his desire was.

'he can have anything he wants, anything money can by, any girl possible, what does he want that he cant have?' she asked her self as she began to write and essay for her potions class.

'what are the things that money cant by? Happiness,' she looked over to Draco. 'love? He cant love though.' As she continued to rack her brain those were the only things she could come up with. Happiness and Love; was it possible that Draco Malfoy wanted happiness and love? But from whom. Every girl basically gave them sleves to Malfoy, who were the girls he couldn't have? She started to think of every girl in a relationship at Hogwarts. Even girls who threw them selves at Malfoy had boyfriends half of the time, so that wouldn't stop him either.

'the only person who can stop him from anything is his father,' Hermione thought to herself as she watched him crumple up a third piece of paper. They had been sitting there for an hour, and she had spent the whole hour trying to figure this out. 'what does he want that his father wont let him have?' she imagined Lucius Malfoy in her head and immedeaitly wished she hadn't. the name, his face, repulsed her, her hatrerd for him was a close second to that she had for Voldemort. She continued to think though what he wouldn't allow his son to have. When she came up with an answer, she gasped. Quickly covering her hand to her mouth, Malfoy looked up.

"spill some ink Granger?" he joked as he looked over to her. She shook her head and looked down, but immedaitly looked back up at him.

"why haven't you called me mudblood?" she asked, since that night of playing cards, he had called her Granger, and a host of other names, but none as vial as Mudblood.

'Damn it,' he thought. 'how does she know, I knew I said to much!' he kicked him self repeaditly in his mind.

"I thought we were trying to be civil," he replied looking back down at his work.

"even so Malfoy, I called you mean things when we would fight, and you only replied with Granger," she said recalling all their fights they had since that night. not once had the words come out of his mouth.

"just goes to show that some people have more class than others," he replied, stairing at his sheet, he begged for something to come to his mind to write about, but it was too filled with worry and dread of what was happening at this moment.

"Dr-Draco," she said, her voice extermly shakey. He looked up to her, his heart doing a flip as she used his first name. "do, do you like me?" his insides were bursting, telling him to scream out yes, to let her know right then and there everything he felt. But all he could do was muster out a laugh.

"me? like you? Are you out of your mind?" he said shaking his head, his smirk on his face.

"I, I just thought," she pausued for a moment. "you can have what ever you want Malfoy, anything and everything money can buy. The only two things I can think of are Happiness and Love. You can have every girl at this school twice over, except one, me."

"I never realized just how egotistical you are Granger, I would have thought better of you too. Don't go around flattering your self, the day that I would want you wouldn't even be my last day on earth," he said as mean as he could.

"then why did you say that, why did you say you had a desire that you wanted so badly and couldn't have?" she said, her voice just as infuriated as his.

"if you even payed attention Granger, I said that everyone has desires, I never said I did. I am a Malfoy, and you were correct in saying that I can have, and do have everything and everyone I want. I am one of the happiest people I know, and I do know love, the mere fact that you would think I would need anymore of either, and that I would find it in you is quite hysterical," he smirked laughing towards the end. She felt so stupid;

'how could I have ever thought that he was even interested in me? God I feel like a prat, here I am thinking I have these emotions for Draco bloody Malfoy, all the while having a battle like no other in my heart wondering if I should pursue what I feel for him and he doesn't even like me?' a wave of relief and stupidty rushed through out her body. As much as she was happy that he didn't have feelings for her, she was just as much pained by it. she could have sworn he had felt something, the way he looked at her at meals in the Great Hall. All the while she had been looking for something to take her mind off the wedding, and had blown his actions way out of proportion.

"then call me a mudblood," she said and he brought his eyes to hers. Years he had called her that, and watched as she was insulted, wrelished in his boost of ego by making her feel bad, after all these years, and him not calling her it for a week, she now wanted him to.

"I never thought I would hear you say that," he said rolling his eyes, packing up his bag, he really didn't want to, but he knew, to make sure Granger would keep off his case that he would have to.

"do it," Hermione said, almost threatening him. He stood up, books and satchel in hand and looked at her.

"Granger, you are a book worm, goody two shoes, brown nosing, filthy ungrateful mudblood, who should be honored that you are even in my presence, let alone that you are actually conversing with me," he said, he wanted to push it too far, for he knew it was the only for him to push her and the suspicion away. he watched and pained for her as tears filled her eyes.

"and you Malfoy, are unbeleiveable prat!" she screamed at him, he was taken aback by her reaction.

"you told me to call you a mudblood, so I did, I don't believe I asked you to return the favor," he yelled back at her.

"you know Malfoy, sometimes I think that maybe your better than I thought you were, but it is times like these that prove how full of your self and egtistical you are, you ferret. Your such a pureblooded bastard and have your wand shoved so far up your ass that you don't even realize how much people hate you!" she screamed at him, holding back the tears. She didn't want to cry infront of him. She wouldn't.

"and the second I start to think that its possible to have a civilized conversation with you Granger, you become ms. Righteous and start questioning everything and everyone around you when they act slightly different," he replied turning around to face her on the steps. "I mean not a person can have a conversation with you before you go and have to be a know-it-all. No wonder your friends are who they are, and your husband to be, I think he goes on these trips just to get away from you, Merlin knows I would have to just to keep my sanity," she had hurt him and as much as he didn't want to say anything, only go up to his room and be in peace and quiet, it was instinctive for him to keep arguing.

"don't you dare talk about my friends or Harry Malfoy, you have know right too. They are intelligent, brave, courageous, and good people. Anyone of us would give our lives for the other in a second. we are fighting to protect our world from people like you, and I can only hope that we win the battle Malfoy," she said, the tears were in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. He wasn't going to insult Ron, or Harry or Neville or anyone who was a friend to her. She wouldn't allow it. "at least my friends aren't dumber than rocks and need some one to look up to just to be able to function, and also aren't all death-eaters-to be," she screamed at him.

"and at least my friends don't kick me out of plans that decide the worlds future, and then keep me in the dark about it," Malfoy replied. He watched Hermione for a moment, the expression on her face, anger, confusion, worry, and hatrered.

Malfoy knew he had won the argument just with those words, he turned and walked into the room slamming the door shut. Hermione walked over to the couch and let a few tears fall from her face as she picked up her Potions essay.

'he's a jack ass Hermione, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Probolly something his daddy told him to say. He wouldn't know what friendship was if it knocked him out like a brick to his head. He's mean and conceited, and a bastard, get over it, get over him,' she told her self, wiping away the tears. She was furious at Malfoy, btu she was also furious at her self. The reason the argument started was because she had told him to call her a mudblood, she figured that if he didn't do it, it meant he liked her, she had been stupid to think he wouldn't do it. she was so angry at her self for ever considering Draco Malfoy as anything other than sworn enemy. She thought he really liked her, but she was wrong. If he liked her, wouldn't he have not said those things. She believed he wouldn't have, but there was something in her saying that it wouldn't have mattered. Draco was taught to hate and be cruel since a very young age. His teaching were so imbedded into him, that maybe there was a chance he still liked her and he just said those things.

'stop making excuses for him Hemrione!' she screamed at her self. She wanted nothing more than at this very moment to be in Harry's arms, safe and warm. Away from everything that was Draco Malfoy. Sure she had brought it on her self, but it didn't make her feel any better.


	10. Chapter 10

**Longest Chapter yet!! its a good one... i think! Read, Review, and Enjoy!**

"thanks for getting here on time," Hermione said as Malfoy walked around a corner later that evening. It was their night to do rounds, they should have started a half hour ago, they would be almost done by now, but Malfoy had taken his time to get there. They hadn't talked the rest of the after noon, and in the Great Hall neither of them tried to look at each other, they had had horrible afternoons, and did not feel like eating at dinner either.

"you know me Granger, always punctional," he said jerking her around. He wanted to apologize for the thigns he said to her today, but he didn't know how.

"watch out Malfoy, I may become all righteous on you," she said quoting him. He bit his tougne from saying anymore, he had already done enough damage. They walked in silence for twenty minutes, each deep in their own thoughts.

Malfoy thought about what a prick he actually was, and how Hemrione was right in almost everything she said. he felt like a jerk, it was the first time in his life that he did, and he hated the feeling.

'now if I had any chance, I fucked it up. Maybe she did have feelings for me? fuck.' Was all he could think.

Hermione continued to think how stupid she was for ever think Malfoy had the same feelings.

'I'm the clever one out of the trio, yeah right clever. And am I even apart of the trio anymore? Is it the duo now?' she thought. Not wanting to be broken from their thoughts, they were extremely disappointed when they found some first years from Hufflepuff running around.

"whats going on here?" Hermione said in her most official voice. They were some first years she recognized.

"he took my essay and said he would trash it, it took me three bottles of ink and a week to write that essay, and then he just goes and takes it from my satchel," a girl, who reminded Hermione much of her self when she was younger said.

"and your side of the story?" Malfoy asked the boy who had the essay in his hands.

"I wanted to copy it-," he began but there was a loud crash. Hermione looked to Malfoy.

"I'll go see what that was, you take care of this," she said turning on her heel.

"it was probolly Pevees," he said wanting to follow her, he found these young children to be quite boring.

Hermione ignored his comment and rounded the hallway and stopped in shock.

"quick, get under here before anyone comes," she heard Harry's voice say, as she saw some red hair fly under the invisablity cloak.

"Harry? Ron?" Hermoine asked. She stood there wondering if she was seeing things. They didn't show themselves until a minute later. Harry pulled the cloak off not only to revela Ron and himself, but Neville also.

"Neville?"

"Hermione, I can explain," Harry said as Hemrione's look of wonder turned into a look of outrage and betrayl.

"so is this what you do? say you go away, but then really spend days in the castle, hidden under the invisibility cloak? Hiding from me?" she asked, tears rushing to her eye lids.

"no Mione, let me explain-," Harry began.

"don't call me that, only my friends can call me that, and your obviously not one of them," she said harshly. He walked forward to her but she backed up.

"Hermione, please, listen to me. I would never hide from you, Ron and I have been away, we just had to come back to the castle, but we couldn't let anyone know," Harry said.

"why?" she asked him, her hand was on her wand, she wanted nothing more but to hex him so hard it hurt for weeks.

"I cant tell you," he said. Ron and Neville stood there with their heads down.

"why Harry? You used to be able to tell me everything about voldemort and yoru plans. We worked together, the three of us, and now you pushed me away. you go off to Merlin knows where, and you lie to me about it. how long have you been home?" Hermione asked.

"Hermione, I didnt tell you I came home only because I didn't want you to be worried. Its better than Ron and Neville and I do this, I can't loose you Hermione, I don't want to loose you, none of us do, that's why we pushed you away," he said and she looked so hurt.

"I don't want to loose you Harry, I don't want to loose any of you, but pushing me away hasn't helped. You used to be honest with me, and now you lie to me, and you Ron, you lie to me to, and Neville? How long have you known?" she said fighting the tears.

"Hermione, listen to Harry, we arrived last night, we are not trying to lie to you, we don't want you to get hurt," Ron said walking closer to Hermione but she backed away again.

"you are not lieign to me? you don't want me to get hurt? Well you've just done both. Some friends you are," she said she couldn't keep her composure much longer. "where have you been? What have you been doing?" Hermione asked.

"it doesn't matter," Harry said approaching her and tried to hug her, but when he touched her it made her shiver, and not in the good way. she backed away from him.

"yes it does Harry, it matters to me," she said. she looked from his eyes, to Ron's, to Neville's and back to Harry's. they weren't going to tell her.

"there was a time when I would have trusted my life with any of you. Where I would have willingly and with out thought given my life up for you on a battle field or anywhere. I love all three of you so much, and yet you have done nothing but shield me away from what is going on and lie to me. not once Harry, or any of you have I lied to you. Not once have I said anything that was not true. I have been by your side through everything, and this is what you do to me. it kills me when you go away. I sit here in class at school, praying that you are alright, that you make it home okay, safe and unharmed. Meanwhile you are already at school, doing Merlin knows what, but hiding from me, not even letting me know that you are okay. That your alive.

"and you Ron, you tell me everything, you are always there for me, even when Harry wouldn't tell me something, you would because you thought I deserved to know. When did I stop deserving to know? Wasn't I there with you both for the sorcers stone? Wasn't I there with you both, trying to figure out the chamber of secrets, wasn't I there for the tri-wizard tornament, helping you solve the clues, and wasn't I there helping you with the order and Sirius? I was there all the time, and then you stopped talking to me, stopped telling me what was going on.

"and Neville? Everything I ever said to you, that you said to me-, I thought we were friends, I thought we cared for one another. But you lied to me. you lied to me today, and merlin knows how many other times. All of you, I thought I could trust all of you!" Hermione said, each sentence her voice got louder and louder.

By this time Malfoy had finished with the first years, and stood against the wall around the corner listening. Hs heart aching for her yet again.

"you can Hermione, you can trust us!" Neville said, they were all mad at themselves for doing what they did.

"no I cant Nev, trust is the basic factor in any relationship. I thought I could trust you, but you lied to me, and used me, and I was wrong!" she said almost screaming now, she let the tears begin to fall she didn't care anymore.

"Hermione," Ron said and put her in a hug. She tried to break free from him but he held on tight.

"let me go!" she cried into his shoulder. They same shoulder that she sought solace in before, was now the shoulder she needed to get away from the most.

"listen 'Mione, listen to me, listen to Harry, listen to Neville. We never wanted to hurt you, we never wanted to lie to you, we never wanted to push you away. we care for you Hermione, that's why this happened. Harry and Nev and I would be devastated if anything happened to you because of us, or because of voldemort. When we go out, when we go on these missions, we go out not knowing what to expect half the time. Not knowing if we are going to come back alive, that's why we don't want you to go, or know about it. we don't want you to worry, we want you to be safe!" he said stroking her hair trying to calm her, but if anything it was making her more enraged.

"and I wouldn't be devastated if something happen to you? Did we ever expect half the things to happen that happened when we dealt with voldemort before? There is a time that is going to come Ron, where I may not make it out alive. Where by some works of the dark arts I will die, that's a chance we all take when we say we want to fight voldemort. You cant shield me from something that I want to fight, to be apart of, just because I may die. We all will die someday Ron, and I rather go down fighting than sitting at school waiting for an attack to happen," she said all the while trying to pull away from him, she finally was able to. "it still doesn't change that you lied to me, it doesn't it make it right that you were trying to protect me, don't think it does." She said wiping tears away, but she felt a second stronger wave coming. She tried to compose her self for a minute.

"five points from gryffendor Neville, for following these two gits around and not telling me anything. Another five points from Gryffendor Ron, for letting your emotions get in the way of your duty as a member of the order, and ten points from gryffendor Harry, for being a complete and total jack ass," Hermione said, her lip beginning to tremble.

"Hermione wait!" they all said as she took off running down the hall way. they tried to follow her, but it was useless, she disappeared around the corner and by the time they reached that corner, had no idea where she went.

"I feel like Malfoy," Ron said, to describe the hatrered that he felt for himself now.

"we aren't wrong in protecting her," Harry deicded firmly. This was his job, not Hermionie's. she had every right to know what was going on, but Harry had the same right not to tell her. As much as he trusted his descion, he felt like a prat.

"were such lousy blokes," Neville commented and they all agreed.

"we should go find her," Ron said after a minute.

"no, she needs time to get over this," Neville said as Harry and Ron went to go find her.

"will talk to her in the morning, we'll tell her everything," Harry resolved after a few moments of just standing there contemplating how lousy a boyfriend, fiancé and friend he was.

Hermione ran away, anywhere she could go to. she didn't think about where, just let her legs take her. Her head hurt too much. He heart ached.

'they've been lying to me, this whole time they've been lying. Protect me? I'm old enough to protect my self. I hate them.' She cried as she fell to the ground in the restricted section of the library.

She was so angry with them, the people she had loved most in her life were now the people she wished she's never see again.

What made her even more angry was that she had said yes to Harry, to marry him, and she couldn't even trust him. She was willing to give him her life because she loved him, even though she was terrifed to do so, and he was being honest with her. The feelings that swirled through out her were indescribable.

'I never really knew them, I didn't know they were this capable of making a person feel useless, and lousy, and betrayed. I have only lived my life for them, and they keep me blocked out of the most important part of theirs. I am supposed to marry Harry, yet I don't want to, I can't picture him at my wedding, I can't see me spending my life with him, yet I said yes anyway because I loved him and he needed me. well I need him too, I need him to be honest and trustworthy. I know he is consumed by so much, I am not asking for some attention from him, but honesty!' she continued crying, she lie on the ground her head resting on her hands that were now soaked with tears. She felt hopeless, lost alone and confused.

"typical," a voice said behind her, one of the voicest she wanted to hear least at that moment. But even though she didn't want to hear him, the word he spoke was filled with desire to tease, it didn't sound like it. she pushed her self up into a sitting postion and put her back against the bookcase.

"if you've come to tease me, can you just please hold off until later?" she asked bringing her knees in and resting her arms on them. She had suspected he was listening to the conversation she had with Harry, Ron and Neville, and just couldn't deal with him at the moment.

"I don't want to tease you," he said and sat down next to her. She was doing everything to keep her self composed.

"then what are you doing here Malfoy?" she said, she refused to look at him, but knew he was watching her.

"I came to apologize, for everything I said today. I didn't mean it, any of it," he said and looked down as her eyes widen in disbelief. Was Draco Malfoy apologizing to her. "I heard the fight you had, with Harry," he said, she let some tears fall from her eyes. "he does love you, he just wants to keep you safe."

"he lied to me," she said in a voice above a whisper.

"sometimes you have to lie to keep the ones you love safe," Malfoy replied. He was trying to win Hermione, yet he was telling her why her fiancé was right.

"it doesn't make it right," she replied, she realized then why she and Draco had fought earlier that afternoon, and what they felt for each other.

"what is right or wrong in love and war?" he asked, a question he thought a lot about. They sat in silence, stuck in their own thoughts of what was happening. "I just wanted to apologize." Malfoy stood up and was turning, he thought Hermione needed her time to think, to heal, but she grabbed his wrist.

"please Draco, don't leave me," she said, and couldn't believe she said it. he bent down to her and he was extatic.

"lets go back to the common rooms," he said and put out his hand for her to take. She did, and a small smile came on to her face. He helped her up and he wiped some tears off of her face. Her smile grew, it wasn't that she was happy, but he was making her feel better. they walked through out the halls back their dorm's, he guiding her and holding her hand. At that moment they understood what had been transipiring since school started. They were interested in each other. Very interested.

They took off there robes so that they were only in their school uniforms. Hermione sat on the couch as Draco tended to the fire, making the room warmer. Hemrione wanted to find words to speak to him, but there were none to be found. He sat on the couch, on the other end, giving her space if she needed it. they sat there, like that for ten minutes silence filling the void between them, unsure of what their actions should and would be.

As Draco found himself drifting to sleep, he felt a small frame up against his. Hermione tucked her head under his chin, and tucked her arms against his and her chest. He wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her tight, letting her know that he was there. They were perfectly proportioned for one another. He wiped a few more tears away with his thumb and studied her as she closed her eyes. she looked like a worn solider. She had had a long day he had known, and it was partially due to him, but he liked to think that he was redeemed from his acts by apologizing to her, but he was unsure of how that worked, he wasn't one to usually apologize. She wasn't asleep, she was resting he deduced, but it didn't stop him from taking everything in about her. Every small detail he had never been close enough to see, and didn't know if he would be again. He could only hope so, only hope that she chose him, but what was hope? He had never believed in it before, so why was he now.

She had the fullest eye lashes out of any girl he knew. Even when her eyes were closed they curled, begging guys for their attention. Her lips looked so soft and innoncent. They were naturally a light pink, and all Draco wanted to do was lean down and kiss them. They were the perfect size and shape and looked so desireable as she rested against his chest. He then looked at her nose, it was a cute little button nose that had a few very small freckles sprinkled across it, and her cheeks. He had never seen these freckles before, had never been close enough to do so. They were so cute, he wanted to run his hand across her cheek, feel her smoothness, but decided against it she needed her time to do what ever she wanted right now. She smelled so good he thought as he rested his head against the couch. What ever perfume she wore enthralled him to her, made him want to be immersed in that scent all day. She became so desireable to him that it took all of his energy not to kiss her right then. He ran his hand threw her hair, and got a smile on his face as he remembered how she looked when they first met. The bushy hair and buck teeth eleven year old, personality wise she hadn't changed much, but in looks she had. What made him smile even more, was that he was attracted to this bushy haired buck teeth character, even before he knew what a beauty she would turn out to be. Her hair now was only wavy with distinct yet subtle curls in it, he assumed she had charmed it to be so, but it suited he well.

"what are you smiling about?" Hermione asked, she had opened her eyes and saw that his were closed, and he actually had a smile on his face.

"I wasn't smiling," he replied opening his eyes and looking down at her. She rolled her eyes, it was obvious she was feeling better.

"you smell good," she said after a minute of breathing in his scent. It was an intoxicating scent that made Hermione never want to leave the postion she was in now.

"so do you," he replied, he didn't want to let go of her as they sat there, never wanted this night to end. He held on to her tighter for two reasons. One was to reassure her that he was there, and the other was for him just to make sure this was happening. As they're breathing became one, the heartbeat became one, Hermione traced little circles over Draco's chest where she lay. He took the hand that was doodling and brought it up to his lips and kissed each and every finger. He felt her shiver, but the good shiver.

After a few more minutes of sactions like this, Hermione began to pull away from him.

"it's late," she said once she had both feet on the ground.

"it is," he replied, and they both began to head up the stairs. They both stood outside the door of Hermionie's room, she was so unsure of what she wanted to do. really, she wanted nothing more than to throw the door open and drag Draco in with her, but she knew she couldn't. she stood with her hand on the door knob, she felt his breath on the back of her neck.

"why aren't you going in?" he asked, hoping to get the answer he desired.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready yet," she said and she felt his hands go on her hips. He pulled her closer and turned her around. He pushed some hair out of her face, as they stared into each other's eyes.

"I'm going to kiss you," Draco said in a voice just above a whisper. He wanted to let her know, so if she wanted to she could pull away, but she didn't, just nodded her head. Slowly he brought his lips to hers, they were so soft and gentle. So innoncent. Draco pushed Hermione against the wall with force, shielding her head with his hand so it wouldn't hit the wall. The force made her whimper, but not because it hurt, because it felt so right. Draco ran his toungue along Hermione's bottom lip, begging access to her mouth, to her taste, to her.

It took a minute for Hermione to acquieste to Draco's demand. She was having an internal battle between Harry and Draco at the moment, and he knew this, he gave her as much time as she needed; but was in heaven when she did open her mouth. she allowed him a minute to explore her mouth, each and every crevice. Hermione couldn't help but notice how different Draco's kisses were than Harry's. Harry had treated Hermione like she would break if he kissed her too hard, but Draco knew how strong Hermione was. Knew what force she could stand and wasn't afraid to give it to her; and that mere fact was a turn on for Hermione, someone who recognized her strength.

Draco's other hand held onto the small of Hermione's back, and it was her time to take control of this kiss. With as much force as she could muster she pushed both of them away from the wall so they both stumbled a little. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him as close to her as possible. There bodies were grinding up against one another, both of them wanted to take this kiss farther, but knew it was too much for tonight.

Draco was intrigued and happy with the way Hermione was taking control over the kiss, it was the first time he ever had a girl who did and it made him even more attracted to her, that she wasn't afraid to take control. But being the Malfoy that he was, he wasn't one to let the girl take over for to long. Once he had decided she was happy enough he slammed them into the wall, again shielding her head. He started to kiss down her jaw line and on her neck, a couple of small moans escaping Hermione's mouth. he worked his way back to her lips, and couldn't believe when she began to nibble on his lip. Not even realizing that he moaned also, they finished with a final kiss.

Draco stood there, his arms on either side of Hermione resting on the wall. They both smiled at each other as they caught their breath. Draco leaned forward and kissed her cheek and whispered.

"you're beautiful." He felt her shiver again and he pulled away to look in her eyes. she kissed him once more on his mouth.

"good night Draco," she said and slipped from under his arms to her bedroom door.

"night Hermione," he whispered back. Once making sure she was okay, he walked into his room and flopped on his bed, he was in heaven.


	11. Chapter 11

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"oh will you quit stairing?" Hermione said as Draco opened the door to the bathroom as she was coming out. She was only in a red fluffy towel that was tied around bust, her hair was wet and she had a brush in her hand. Draco couldn't help but examine her entire body from head to toe, she was so delectable.

"sor, sorry Granger," he said pulling his gaze away and walking into the bathroom. Hermione walked back to her bedroom and felt Draco's eyes on her until she closed her door. As she got ready for classes she was stuck in an emotional pit of confusion and choices that could change the course of her life forever.

What had happened with Draco the previous night, she didn't regret it, did she? It had been the most amzing feeling in the world, she had never experienced it before, and only hoped she could again, but it was Malfoy. She had been furious with Harry and Ron and Neville, but her anger had died down a little and she was now just mad at them. She began to wonder if Draco really liked her, if he did, and he wasn't just using her the night before, then the situation was even more complicated.

As much as Hermione wanted to act like the kiss never happened, she never wanted to forget it, and thought she wouldn't. it was too good, to passionate, to right to forget. But she was still enaged to Harry, still loved him, but how could she deny these feelings that she had for Draco. She didn't know how she should act around any of the men in her life at the moment, but knew she had to make a choice a desion, even if it pained her.

After dressing for school, she walked across the hall to Draco's room knocking on the door.

"come in," he said and she did. He stood there, a towel hanging dangerously low around the waist.

'Draco, why must you make this hard?' she said in her head, trying to keep her eyes on his face.

"we need to talk about what happened last night," Hermione said holding onto the door knob for support. She watched as he ran a comb threw his hair.

"which part?" he asked with a devilish smirk.

"I think you know Malfoy," she said, he loved making this difficult for her.

"you mean the part where you grabbed my wrist and begged me to stay with you, or the part where you cuddle up against me, or the part where you kissed me?" he said and loved how her nose scrunched, trying to contain his anger.

"Draco Malfoy, you are lousy! You're the one who led me back to the dorms holding my hand, you're the one who wrapped me in your arms, you're the one who was playing with my hair, and you're the one who asked to kiss me, I merely let it happen!" she said, her hands at her sides now.

"Hermione, calm down, I wasn't trying to upset you," he said approaching her, as much as she wanted nothing more than to rip the towel off of his body, and have him tear her clothes off violently, she knew it would be to hard to control her self if he came any closer, she backed up a little.

"but in all seriousness, we do need to talk about it," Hermione said, her voice stammering a little. She was agints the door now, no where else to go. Draco was on top of her. His arms on the door like the night before, making it impossible to escape. His chest leaning into hers, her knees went weak at his smell.

'so its his body wash that makes him smell so desireable. Wait focus,' she scolded her self.

"do you regret it?" he asked, bringing his face close to hers.

"not exactly, no," she said, fighting every urge in her body to bring her lips to his.

"neither did I," he whispered into her ear, making sure to blow into it. he felt her shudder and close her eyes and hold her hands against the door.

'score one for Draco,' he thought as he backed away.

"now turn around," he said.

"why?" she asked.

"I need to change, unless you want to watch," he suggested, she rolled her eyes and turned around, she began to finger the wood knots in the door.

"Draco, I, I just don't know what to do," she said after a few seconds of silence. He took a breath tyring to figure out the best phrasing for what he wanted to say.

"Hermione, I have feelings for you, strong feelings, and my regret is that I haven't acted upon them sooner. I understand the situation you're in, I know its hard, I cant fault you for which ever choice you make, but no one ever said you couldn't have both of us," he replied and she turned around in outrage.

"I have never cheated, and I don't intend to. it wouldn't be fair to Harry or you," she said, happy that he at least had pants on.

"what is fair in love and war?" he asked.

"is that your line or something?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"but seriously Hermione what is, Harry leaves you for weeks at a time, and expects you to be faithful? Espicallly when he keeps you in the dark?" he said pulling his shirt on.

"you even said so yourself last night Draco, that he does it because he loves me," she said, half of her agreed with Draco, the other wanted to scream at him.

"he does, but the question is, do you?" he replied and he began to button up his shirt.

"of course I do-," Draco cut her off.

"I see the way you act when he starts talking about the wedding, I see the way you drift off, trying to find anything else to keep your mind off of it. why?" he asked softly.

"i-, because, I don't," she said stumbling for words. He didn't smirk, he didn't smile, he just stood there expresonless. "I mean, its scary, that's all."

"shouldn't you be extatic right now, and scared closer to the wedding?" he asked, only confirming a question she had asked her self repeaditly.

"times are a little different right now, and considering the position Harry is in…" her voice trailed off because as much as she could read into his eyes, he could read into hers.

"you said yes because he wanted you to," he said softly. She looked down, ashamed that someone had found out.

"I do love him," she said kicking the ground with her toe a little.

"Hermione," he said in the gentlest voice she had ever heard from him. "you cant marry someone only because they want you too. You have to want to, you have to be happy," he said and wanted to touch her shoulder, but knew that could cloud her judgement.

"I am happy, and, he needs me," she said the latter just barely audiable.

"you're not truly happy," he said.

"and you can make me feel that way?" she said looking up to him, tears brimming her eyes.

"I can try," he replied. He watched as one tear escaped and ran down her cheek, as he went to go wipe it away she turned and walked out the door.

"I'll, I'll see you in class," she said as she flew down the stairs, unsure of what her actions should be next. She had only viewed two paths. A life with Harry and a life with Draco, but now a third was emerging, a life with both of them. She would have to lie to her first love, and be two peoples hearts at once, but his words that he would try and make her happy only made her question the path even more, made her truly consider it.

she wasn't sure what she was doing when she got to the Great Hall for breakfast. Everything seemed so normal, even though her world was upside down. she saw Harry, Ron and Neville all sitting, at the end of the table. Barely picking at their food. They looked upset and were not talking, they looked like they hadn't slept all night. Hermione put on a smile and marched down the table and took her seat next Harry.

"morning guys," she said reaching over for some toast. They all looked to each other and then to her.

"Hermione!" they screamed and all went to hug her, Ron and Neville succsuflly knocking over a pitcher of pumkin juice.

"calm down," she said laughing a little, she saw Draco walk into the Great Hall, he looked to her but she looked away.

"Hermione we were talking about it, we're so sorry, we shouldn't have pushed you away, we just cared for you so much. And you're right, we all know the risk and as much as we want to protect you we are doing more of a deserive to you and harming you more by not telling you anything," Harry said throwing her into a hug.

"we are going to tell you everything," Ron and Neville said at the same time.

"I'm sorry guys, I overreacted too," she said as Harry kissed her cheek, her eyes darted over to the slythern table just in time to see Draco look away disusted with Harry's affection.

"lets go some place private," Ron said standing up. The three of them followed, Hermione had the rest of her toast in hand. They walked threw out the building until they came to a stair case that wasn't used that frequently.

"where to start," Harry said as Hermione sat down. Neville sat down next to her and Ron sat on the banister, Harry stood facing them.

"middle of sixth year," Hermione said recalling when she was first being pushed away. as Harry and Ron told her the details of what had happened since that Christmas, she sat in shock. So much had changed since she was included in the trio, she realized how much older they had become in nine months, and she admired them.

"and then Neville began joining us, he basically took your job," Ron said.

"what do you mean my job? I was never included in any of these hunts," Hermione replied.

"we got information out of you with out you realizing it, how to battle creatures, curses," Harry said and began listing different things they had used against death eaters and traps they had fallen into. "Neville took over the job of the brains."

"but I still use you too Hermione, you know so much more than I ever could," Neville quickly interjected and she gave a small smile, unsure of whether to take it as a compliment or not.

"he is also our main communication with Hogwarts and the order while we are away," Harry added recalling everything that he had left Hermione out of.

"and what about you and Ron, these horcruxes you go looking for, what are they?" she asked and they began to explain to her how they were voldemorts soul.

"there's two left, and we think we know where they are," Ron said almost excitedly.

"see, trying to find them, locate them has been the hardest thing, well next to the traps voldemorts put on them. He's hidden them all over, remember the time last year when we came back and I was in the hospital wing for a week?" Harry asked and Hermioine nodded. "a potion he used, one of us had to drink it, and it made us dying of thirst, we were on an island, but we couldn't drink the water because of the inferii that were there, but then Ron-,"

"hey, you were about to die, and I had it covered!" Ron snapped back.

"Ron took the goblet and filled it with water and gave it too me. only then the inferii started to attack."

"and I said the fire spell and all was well, except for the fact it took you a week to recover, but other wise it was okay," Ron said with a smile. In a way the guys were taking it so lightly, but for Hermione it was hard to comprehend. She knew that they were brave and courageous for what ever they were doing, knew that they were risking their lives, but she never realized how close to death they had come so many times.

They continued with the stories of their trips, leaving Hermione gasping and laughing at certain parts of the story.

"we're sorry we didn't tell you, but if you still want to help, you could help Neville out," Harry said, he was sitting in front of Hermione now, his head leaning agiants her knee.

"sometimes it gets hard, keep track of all these loose ends, and with this," he said tapping his head. "it can get a little tricky. I could really use your help." Hermione gave a silent gulp, but then looked into all of their eyes.

"of course I'll help, I'll do everything I can," she said and they all got smiles on their faces and hugged her.

"now we're already on the hunt for the next horcurx. All we need to do is recover a little from this last trip, and then we're off to the orphanage Voldemort was in when he was a kid," Harry replied.

"you really think that he would put something so important in such an open place, I mean, its not exactly the smartest thing a person could do," she said thinking about all the places you could hide a horcurxe and not get caught.

"he's a sentilmental man," Ron said and the guys began to laugh, apparently an inside joke that Hermione didn't get. She smiled.

She admired these men, they were her friends, lovers, and confidants. They were the force that was going to change the world forever.

All Malfoy wanted was to talk to her, but he had given up on that nights ago. It was Friday night, and Draco lay in bed hoping that sleep would find him faster tonight than it had previous nights. Since that night of the kiss, and the following morning Hermione had avoided him at all costs. She came in much later than he was used to, and left even before he woke up. He never saw her looking at him in the Great Hall, and in classes couldn't get near her because of the people she was surrounded with all the time.

When the night came that it was their turn to do rounds, he had never looked forward to anything more, but he had found when a sixth year prefect from Ravenclaw came up to him, that Hermione was not feeling well and had gone to the hospital wing. He knew she wasn't there, probolly in the arms of Potty instead. He was so jealous, yet couldn't do anything about it. the descion was Hermione's. he prayed that she would choose him, that he could kiss her and hold her, and be with her unencumbered, but with the reaction he was getting this week he didn't know how likely that was. Hermione would never have him, would never have both men at the same time. It was asking her too much, and it was wrong. They hated each other, for seven years they hated each other, they were opposites, everything was different about them, all of it made what could be a relationship between them so wrong, yet all Draco could consider was holding Hermione in his arms. He didn't care how wrong it was, he wanted both of them to be happy.

'just let her go Draco. She hasn't acknowledged you once, she is not going to start to now. You never had a chance with her, not when it comes down to Potty being the chosen one, and Ron, and Neville. You're different, you're better, you'll get over it,' he told him self as he tried to get comfortable in his sheets. But he knew hew as wrong. He wasn't better than Hermione, she was so much better than him, she would always be, there was no comparison.

'just get over her, tomorrow, after the quidditch match, you'll go with the first girl who catches your eye, you'll bang her in the locker room,' he couldn't help but think, and he got a smirk on his face just at the thought, he hadn't thought about having sex all week with out anyone else but Hermione. Now beginning to accept that it would never happen, he forced him self to look at the other options of girls out there, there were so many.

'now get some sleep, you need to win tomorrow.' With that he shut his eyes, shutting off his thoughts as much as he could, but he couldn't help for a few images of Hermione to get into his head, her scent trigging his memory.

'just forget her.'


	12. Chapter 12

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On the other side of the castle Harry and Hermione lay with each other on the couch next to the fire. The room was comfy, and all week Hermione had been by the boy's side helping with the horcurxes and the demise of voldemort. It was amazing how far they had come since they let her in, she wondered if she had known all along if Voldemort would be gone by now, but she tried not to think about it. Harry and Ron were leaving at dawn the next day, and for the night Hermione and Harry had decided to spend it together.

They sat listening to each other breathe, and having the warmth of the fire immerse them. Hermione had her head tucked under Harry's chin, but couldn't help but note how slightly uncomfortable her body felt as she had to scotch down to be able to fit his form.

'this wouldn't have to happen if I was with Draco,' she thought and slapped her self mentally. It didn't matter, she wasn't with Draco, she was with Harry, and would be. Leaving Harry was out of the question, she had realized this after he and Ron and Neville had confessed everything to her, but more so when he had stolen her away and told her how she was his rock. Leaving Harry was the worst thing she could do, to him, to her, to everyone, and she wouldn't.

she also didn't want to cheat and lie to him either. it wasn't her, it wasn't what she normally did, and didn't want to start, but couldn't help but find her mind wandering to Draco in times like this, picturing him in place of Harry.

She had been waging a war like no others inside her self all week. Being around Draco made it hard, she avoided him at all expenses, and as much as she wanted to gaze at him in the Great Hall, she only glanced to him when she was positive no one was looking. She had deserted him, and she felt terrible for doing so, but at the same time could not help it, looking at him only made her realize what she couldn't have.

As Harry's hands made there way over Hermione's body, and his lips found hers, they began snoging.

"Harry," she whispered after a few moments.

"hmm?" he asked against the kiss.

"kiss me harder," she said remembering the kiss she shared with Draco, and how much she wanted this kiss to feel like that.

"harder?" he asked pulling away from her, she nodded. He grasped her head and brought his lips crashing down on hers. "this good?"

"yeah," she lied. It was horrible. He was almost hurting her with the way he was now kissing, she tried taking over control of the kiss, showing him the pace and pressure that she wanted, but he either didn't get the picture or couldn't do it.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered into her ear.

"I'll miss you too, but you'll be back soon," she said, kissing his forhead.

"you're everything I ever wanted in life Hermione, everything," he said as he rested on her. She smiled for him and kissed him.

"rest now," she said as she laid down, him on top of her. "you need your strength, you need to come home not harmed." As she heard his breaths get even she couldn't help but wonder why she didn't say 'you're everything I want to Harry.'

'because it's a lie,' she said. 'you want Draco, you can't have him and you want him. You've got Harry, you want Harry, but you want Draco too,' the voice said. she knew why the kiss she desired from Harry would never feel the way she wanted it too, he could try from now till the end of time, he could master the kiss, but it would never be the one she shared with Draco, because he wasn't Draco.

'but you don't want him!'

she convinced her self by repeating this, thinking that if she kept thinking it, it would be true. But she knew better than anyone that it wasn't true. 'if only for tonight.' She thought, just believe it for the night.

at the crack of dawn the next morning, Harry and Ron shook Hermione awake.

"'mione," Ron's tired voice whispered. Her eyes fluttered open.  
"you're leaving?" she asking, holding back the fear she had in her voice. They nodded there heads. She stood up and threw her arms around Ron. Ron felt a tear roll down her face and onto his shoulder he squeezed her tighter.

"we'll be fine 'Mione, I'll take care of Harry. We'll be back soon," Ron whispered into her ear. She pulled away and this time pecked him on the lips. He wiped away her tears and squeezed her shoulders once more. Hermione smiled and turned to Harry.

"please come back," Hermione said into neck. A few more tears rolling down her eyes.

"I always do," he said and kissed her hair. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

"I know," Hermione whispered and they kissed. He tried kissing her harder again, but it felt awkward. "shall I go to see you off?" she asked when she pulled away from Harry.

"go back to sleep before breakfast," Harry said patting the couch and pecking her on the head with a final kiss.

"I'll wake you up," Neville said to Hermione who greatfully smiled.

"be safe guys," she said and squeezed both their hands. They said their final goodbyes, and she listened as they left the common room, and then out of the castle.

Hermione had no trouble falling back asleep, and it scared her. How was it that she could fall asleep instantly, when her boy friend and best friend were possibly going on a suicide mission. Was it because she knew they would be okay? Or because of something else.

'no, no, no!' she repeated in her head. 'I don't like Draco!' she remembered chanting this over and over again until she was in a sleep deep enough to shut out the world, if only for a few more hours.

Closer to noon, Hermione was still in the common room. Neville had brought some food that she had barely picked at. She had realized that she was filled with a void of emptiness, and that it was not because of Harry's departeur this morning, but it was because of Harry. The void had been building over the years, only she had masked it, not willing to admit that it was even there. Her love for Harry had grown much like her love of Ron, that of a brother; but over the years he had needed her more and more, and because of that need she felt that she couldn't run from him, and only realized it when it was too late.

Before she could have left him amicably, but now it was too long they had been together, too much, and now it was too late. Hermione had come to realize she felt like she was being a mother to Harry rather than a lover, and that wasn't fair to him or her.

She sat in the window seat and traced little designs on the window pain. People were scattered through out the common room, doing home work and procrastinating. Neville sat on the couch thumbing through a book about defense against the dark arts, he had read it many times but always looked through it as if he would find something new.

Hermione looked out the window, and saw a bunch of her class mates going to the quidditch pitch. She had never gone to a match with out Ron or Harry, she had never found the sport that interesting, but she knew who was playing today.

"Nev," she said sliding off of her seat. He looked up from the book. "I think I'm going to go out for a little while."

"for a walk?" he asked closing the book.

"yeah, I think I may head up to the pitch," she said, trying not to be obvious.

"do you want me to come with you?" Neville asked standing up.

"no, Nev, I think I just want to be alone for a little while," Hermione replied, and she was being honest, she needed time to think, to come up with an answer, and she needed that time alone.

"oh okay," he said sitting back down on the couch.

"I'll meet you for dinner?" she asked and he nodded.

"see you later," he said as she scurried to the portrait hole. She caught a look of her self in a mirror and almost gasped at her appearance. After she said a couple of charms to make her self look presentable, cute even, she left the castle and began her walk to the pitch.

She heard the chattering of the students as she climbed the stairs to the seats. The game was Ravenclaw Versus Slythern, the colors of green and blue were seen through out the arena.

"Hermione! Over here," she heard her voice being called. She turned to find none other than Luna Lovegood waving at her to come sit near her.

"Hey Luna," Hermione said taking a seat next to her, they were in the first row.

"what are you doing here? I would have never thought you'd come to one of these games," she said as the girls began to talk animatedly.

"I told Harry and Ron that I would come and watch the other teams tricks," Hermione lied, but Luna believed it, she believed the best in every one.

As the girls continued to catch up, they had barely seen each other since school started, some fifth year hufflepuff began to annouance the game.

"today's game is Ravenclaw versus Slythern!" the boy announced, he reminded Hermione of Jordan Lee. The crowds cheered for Ravenclaw, but not as much for Slythern; Hermione on the other hand clapped for both teams, something she never thought she would do.

Draco knew they would win today, there was no doubt about it. the only team who they ever had trouble beating was Gryffendor, but since Potty was out from school half the time, there was a large chance they would win that match. As he and the Ravenclaw seeker flew around in the sky, they were playing the game. Draco doged some bludgers that came his way, as he kept his eyes on the pitch for the glint of the golden ball, but he knew it was too soon for the ball to come out, they game had just barely strated.

'lets see who I will choose to shag after the game,' he said rather crudely to himself. He was putting his eyes over the crowd. 'did her twice, not her, not her.' He flew around, winking at some girls who caught his eye, but he was empty. The normal pleasure he usually got from this sort of activity was no where to be found, a void of emptiness was all that was there. After about forty minutes of the game, Draco had decided on the girl and thought he saw the gleam of the snitch but wasn't positive.

'she looks good,' he deicded as he flew closer to her, sixth year he noted.

"woo, go Draco!" he heard close to the girl, he looked to the left and then to the right.

"Hermione?" he asked in shock, he forgot what he was doing, what he should be doing and hovered there as the two people stared at each other.

"Draco!" she shouted as a bludger came around and hit him square in the stomach, the impact so large it knocked off his broom. He wasn't that far off the ground, but far enough for it to hurt. The crowd gasped as he fell, but Hermione did the most.

All that Draco could remember was hearing Herimone scream out his name as he fell, and then a bunch of pain in his shoulder, then everything went black.


	13. Chapter 13

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"Well you most certaintly are not the person on my bed side I thought I'd wake up to," Draco said as his eyes fluttered open. He had felt a cool towel on his forhead and warm hands touch his face. Expecting to find Madame Pomfrey, he was very pleased when it was Hermione.

"I felt it was my fault you ended up in this situation," she said with a sweet smile, she was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"partially," he replied with his smirk, Hermioine couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"how do you feel?" she asked putting her hand on his arm.

"better now that you're here," he said and he was telling the truth.

"if you could stop with the cheesy pick up lines for a moment, and tell me how you really feel," she said and they both laughed a little.

"really not bad, my shoulder hurts a little," he said moving it to indicate which shoulder.

"yeah, you broke it, Pomfrey healed it, but it should probolly hurt for a couple days," Hermione replied with a sweet smile.

"what about the game? Who went in for me?" he asked suddenly remembering what he was doing before he got there.

"you caught the snitch in your robes on the way down," Hermione said and he couldn't help but be impressed with him self.

"well its just a lucky day then," he said and they both smiled. Hermione had known, right as he had fallen in the game, what she was going to do, and now was a good a time as ever.

"it is," she smiled, but she still didn't take her hand off of his arm.

"So where have you been all week? Pretty busy," he said getting to what he really wanted to know.

"I've, I've just needed some time to mull through things," Hermione said but wasn't able to look him in the eye.

"such as?" he asked, knowing that she would only talk if he made her. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She closed it trying to compose what she wanted to say, he sat there patiently, not wanting to force her at all.

"I have always been the good girl, never done anything wrong, pride and joy of my parents and teachers, and sometimes a nuisance to my friends. I have never cheated on anything or anyone," she stopped not knowing where to go from here. She took her hand on of his arm and played with some fringes of her skirt. "I love Harry, we work, we're happy, at least I thought I was happy; but there's been this void of emptiness building up within me, for I don't know how long, and I've never realized it until that night, when you kissed me. Draco, when I'm with you, I'm happy, you make me happy, you make me feel complete." She brought her eyes to meet his and gave a small smile. They sat there in the silence Hermioine unsure of what to say or do, Draco just amazed that she was willing to do this, be with Harry and him.

"the quaffles yours," she said and stood up. She kissed him on the forehead and turned, hoping that he would grab her wrist, or tell her to stay, he didn't so she kept on walking, feeling like she made a complete fool of her self. As soon as she got out of the hospital wing, she ran to the portrait that held a secret passage way that led directly to the portrait to their dorms.

Draco had wanted nothing more that for these words to come out of her mouth, and she had spoken them so eloequently; but he had never really imagined they would, not out of Granger's mouth. when she spoke he thought he was dreaming, he thought that he was unconscious still, and this was his mind playing cruel tricks on him. Not once did he suspect it was for real until Madame Pomfery came over to him, thirty seconds after Hermione had left.

"Mr. Malfoy, where do you think you are going?" she said in a shrill tone as Draco stood up, he noticed his left arm was in a sling, and it hurt when he moved it, but he didn't care. "Mr. Malfoy?" she asked again. He was wearing his regular clothes, Jeans and a tee shirt.

"to go get the girl of my dreams," he said as he walked out the door. "Hermione!" he called, she had left not even a minute ago. He began running as fast and as hard as he could to their dorms, he hoped that's where she would be, and not flocking to the arms of Neville. He ran, their dorms were on the other side of the castle. He realized then, at that moment that running was not something that he patricuallry enjoyed, even though he was very good at it.

'Merlin I'm such an idiot,' she said to her self as she steped out of the passageway. 'I knew he was jerking me around the whole time, I knew it, now look at me, pouring out my feelings to a guy who hates me and will probolly tell the whol-,' she was was cut off.

"Hermione!" someone's voice said. she turned around to find Draco clutching at his side gasping for breath, he leaned over hoping it would stop the pain.

"Draco," she said, unable to hide the smile that grew on her face.

"how did you get here so fast?" he said between breaths, as he looked up.

"passageway behind the portrait of Merlin," she said pointing to where she had just exited from. "are you okay?" she asked reffering to not only his arm, but his lack of breath. He walked over to her and put her head in his hands and brought his lips down upon hers.

"I am so much better now," he said against her lips. She said the password and the portrait flung open, she didn't want some one walking by to see them, but she was so happy. As they stepped in, Draco pushed her agaitns the wall suddenly and with fervor, it hurt, but that's what she loved about Draco, the force he commanded. He held her against the wall, with only one arm and the rest of his body as there toungues duled. Hermione had her hands around his neck and in his hair, her touch drove him crazy. He had begun to kiss her neck and jaw line, and felt her shudder with pleasure. Her hands began to roam over his body, ending just below his belt line. She grinded her hips with his, letting him know what she wanted.

He picked her up off her feet with one arm, and she wrapped her legs around him as her arms were around his neck. As they made it up the stairs and into his room they fell onto the bed, making out even more passioantly than before. She began undoing the button on his pants, revealing his green silk boxers that she had no problem removing as he removed her jean skirt. He began to unbutton her top, slowly but with the force that she loved and nearly tore it off of her.

"Hermione Granger has a red lacy bra?" he whispered into her ear as he kissed the flesh around it.

"got a problem with that," she replied back.

"only that it still on," he replied and with such an ease that she did not know he possessed, he removed her bra. There, beneath him, he looked over her body, the perfection that he had not known exsisted there, he couldn't control himself and began kissing anywhere his lips could touch.

"Draco," she whispered as pleasure filled her just by his touch. He knew what was coming next. He sat up and removed his sling, flinging it across the room. She began to tear his shirt off, but saw how he winced in pain.

"I don't want to hurt your shoulder," she said, but was kissed passionately and had such a force thrust inside her that all comments and pain was forgotten.

"Draco," she said a little louder, not able to control her self. Her nails moved across his back, and he was going crazy with her touch. The way it felt was arousing. Hermione decided right then and there that this was her favorite place in the whole world, under Draco.

"Toad stood and essence of peppermint make a green vapor," Hermione corrected Draco's homework over his shoulder. It was closer to dinner time that same day and after their activities they had found that they both had home work to do. Draco sat with his back to the couch, and Hermione, who had finished her potions essay long ago, sat with her legs on either side and was massging his hurt shoulder as she read over his paper.

"they always produce a red vapor," he leaned into Hermione.

"not when stirred counterclockwise three times," she replied as she began kissing up his shoulder to his neck. He made the correctment with his quill and then rolled the essay up.

"you have a way with words Draco," she said, his writing was very eloquent.

"and you my dear, have a way with passion," he said turning his head so his lips caught hers. They had been together not even a day, but they felt a connection and bond, and it felt so right and good, like it had always been there.

After a few more minutes of making out, Draco had stood saying he was in dire need of a shower.

"you can join me if you want," he smirked as he ran his hand over her cheek.

"somehow I have the feelings that if I do, I'll feel even dirtier when I come out of the shower," she replied with a cute smile which made him laugh. He kissed her one last time and turned for the stairs to the bathroom. Hermione laid on the couch, not able to stop smiling, she was so content and happy at the moment, she felt so alive. She stood to go to her bedroom to change, but found that she had knocked over Draco's satchel. Bending down to clean it up, she came across a letter that had been opened already. Making sure the shower was still running she opened it. in an unfamillar black handwriting, a letter was scratched out.

Draco,

Why have you not responded to any of my letters? We are awaiting your reply, an honor which you should be honored to receive. It would be in your wisest judgement to forget your boyish years of schooling and think about what is best for you in your life, what will help you the most.

L.M.

Of course it was Lucious Malfoy, but Hermione had no idea what the letter meant. What was Draco not answering? What was best for his life?

"mione," came draco's voice from the bathroom, cutting her thoughts off.


	14. Chapter 14

**You know what to do!!**

Two weeks had past since Hermione and Draco were together. Harry was expected to return that evening, but when Hermione was with Draco, she almost forgot Harry was away. almost forgot she was dating him.

"where are we going?" Hermione said as Drao pulled her out of the castle near the lake.

"for a stroll," he replied and before he went to grasp her hand, he put the disallusiment charm on them before Hermione could protest there stroll because someone would see them.

"but a stroll where?" she asked grabbing Draco's hand and lacing her fingers with his

"Why must you ask so many questions?" he replied taking her into a hug an kissing her forehead.

"because it is my nature," she rplied nuzzling her head nito his chest. They kissed for a moment before they continued walking to the lake. Draco picked up a stone and skimmed it across the lake. Hermione looked at th rock and tried to push the memories away of her and Harry. They had so many defining moments here that it was hard to look at when she was with Draco.l

"now where are you going?" she demanded as Draco began to walk away from her

"Up here," he replied climbing a tree like it was extremely natural for him. He swung his leg over a branch so he was straddling it. "join me?"

"I beg your pardon? When did you ever think me capable of climbing tree?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"you are Hermione Jane Granger, you can do anything," he said with a smile she couldn't refuse.

"how is it that you make me do the most unlike things about me?" she asked as she began to climb up to where he sat.

"I'm just that powerful," he said wrapping his arms around her body as she positioned her back against his chest

"uh-huh," she replied rolling her eyes. he began to breath in her scent, a fusion of lavendar and jasmine that he could not live with out. He nuzzled his face into her hair, kissing her shoulder.

"you don't think he'll find out, do you?" Hermione asked after a few minutes of silence.

"no, the git isn't that smart to put two and two together," Draco said and immediately regretted it when Hermione pulled away from him.

"Regardless of this situation, _Malfoy_, I still care about Harry and Ron, so if you continue to make fun of them, I'm not sure how long this will last," Hermione said defiantly. Regardless of her romantic emotions or lack there of, Harry and Ron were still her best friends, and she could only hope they would be if they were to ever find out.

Draco needed to think and fast, he couldn't stand not having Hermione. Over the past weeks he was coming to find that he relied on the fact that he would get to be with her every opportunity they got. He loved most waking up next toher every morning in either his bed or hers, who had ever put out first. The first sight in the morning and the last sight of the night was always her, and he loved it. he didn't want to think if Hermione were to choose Harry, he didn't want to share her, he could tell she didn't want to share her body either, but that the only way to be with Draco was to share.

"well excuse me, _Granger_, but how do you expect me not to feel hostile towards the man you are engaged to, let alone everything else we've been through over the past seven years, and the fact that my family hates him?" Draco replied and Hermione's faced showed a mixture of annoyanc and happiness.

"you hated me for the past seven years," she said softly

"I never hated you Hermione, I hated not having you," he said and Hermione threw her lips on his, which he gladly took.

"don't think this means that I forgive you for being such a jack ass," she said after a few moments of snogging.

"what can I say, I'm an ass when I don't get what I want," he replied and they both laughed.

"still I would appreciate it if you didn't make such prickish comments about htem when I a around," she replied and started to trace circles around his hand.

"I'll do my best love, but its so hard to say nice things about the man who you are fighting for his girls affection for," he replied careful not to use the word love. He had wanted so badly to tell her how he loved her, how he wanted to spend his life with her, but he wasn't sure how, and wasn't sure how she would take it, if she could handle it, and he didn't want to be the cause of anymore pain.

"Draco, you fight for my affection?" she asked touched.

"I'd die for you Hermione," he said and couldn't help but meet the smile that grew on her face.

"you have my affection, always," she whispered into his ear as she caressed his inner thigh and he shook with pleasure. Only she knew how to get him feeling this way he did, he never wanted to loose her. She slowly kissed him, bitting his bottom lip just to prove her point. When it came down to it, Hermione wanted to kiss Draco every second she could, where as she only felt she had to kiss Harry.

She slowly hopped off the branch of the tree, and said the counter charm for the disillusment spell. Smiling up at him before turning on her foot she began walking at a fast pace.

"where do you think you are going?" Draco replied hopping down and casting the same counter charm on himself.

"you're just going to have to follow me to find out," she said before taking on a fast pace run. Draco quickly caught up to her, but she kept running, running as fast and as hard as she could until she reached the east side of the castle. She began to slow down, and in doing so Draco grabbed her waist picking her up and twirling her around before planting a kiss on her lips. She wrapped her arms around him as they pulled away, only trying to catch their breath, gasping for air after the run. They put the foreheads together and looked into each other's eyes.

"so where are we?" he asked looking at their surroundings. It was a part of the grounds many people didn't travel through, which was half of the reason why Hermione loved it.

"my second favorite place at school," she said walking down to another rock, almost identical to the one she shared with Harry, it sat on the side of the lake in the direction of the sun set. He sat down first and opened his legs patting the rock's surface in between them for her to sit. She gladly did, her back falling into his chest, her arms resting on his knees, one arm of his securing her in front of him, and the other holding both of them up.

"where's you're first favorite place at school?" he asked curiously.

"in your arms," she said and he kissed the side of her face.

"I'd have to agree with you on that," he said and felt her nuzzle his head into his chest, there breathing finally becommig normal. They sat, the cool breeze blowing into their faces, making their nose and cheeks turned a light pink. They were immersed in their own thoughts, but they knew they were thinking of each other, there bodies, hearts and souls as one.

Draco had begun to play with Hermione's hair twirling it around his fingers and she looked up to him pouting her lips for a kiss, as Draco was just about to deliver his love's order, they heard a click, making them both turn in the direction where it had come from. They saw a sixth year from Gryffendor, Collin Creevey standing behind a tree, camera in hand. Hermione was filled with dread, now everyone would know, there perfect secret would be let out, she wouldn't be able to have Draco anymore.

"Draco-," she whispered, but he was already at Collin, wand in hand, holding him against the tree.

"I'm sorry," Collin said before Draco could say anything.

"how many pictures did you take?" Draco asked not wavering his wand, Hermione was sitting on the rock her knees pulled in hand on top of her mouth.

"a few," Collin replied holding in his camera protectively. Draco grabbed for it before Colling even realized what was going on, Draco's seeker reflexes kicking in. "hey, that's expensive!"

"you'll get it back," Draco replied stuffing the camera in a pocket of his robes.

"but-," Collin began, but Draco said a spelled that erased the kids memory for the past hour.

"thanks to you Collin, I'll be able to figure out the criminal is. Now go back to the castle," Draco said and Collin only nodded, he felt something was right, but he couldn't remember anything. Draco watched as Collin entered the castle and then walked back to Hermione.

"a memory wiping spell?" she asked, she hadn't heard their conversation, only watched it.

"a corrective memory spell," he said with a smirk.

"I knew my knight in shining armor would save the day," Hermione said pulling him down on her. His head rested on her chest, facing her.

"anything for you," he said and ran his hand over her breasts.

"are you going to give him his camera back," she asked as she ran her fingers through his hair, she was at peace once again.

"of course, I'll just develop the film," he said nuzzling his face into her breast.

"why don't you just trash it, make sure no one gets a hold of it?" Hermione asked.

"that's probolly better," he said, but he had other intentions. They stayed outside for a few more minutes before they parted, snogging for a few moments behind a statue.

Hermoine began the walk to the Gryffendor common room, Harry and Ron would be home any minute. As happy as she was that they were returning home, she wanted to be heading back to her dorm rooms with Draco, and spend some time in bed with him before dinner. She settled on the fact that she would have all night with him tonight, once dinner was over.

"Hey Nev," Hermione said flopping on the couch next to Neville who was immersed in a book.

"Hermione where have you been?" Neville replied, Hermione realized he looked worried.

"just out, enjoying the weather before it gets too cold," she said realizing that her nose and cheeks were very pink. Before Neville could respond the portrait door flew open.

"you're back!" Neville said walking over to Harry and Ron who looked more beat up than usual.

"Harry, Ron," Hermione said running over to them and hugging them. She realized that she had to kiss Harry when he stuck out his lips. They were chapped and split, his face had cuts.

"what, what happened?" Hermione asked tracing her fingers over the cuts.

"nothing that we couldn't handle," Harry replied holding onto Hermione, she was his only solace these days, that's why they had come home, they still hadn't obtained the horcruxe, but neither of them could continue to go on, they were weak and needed to come home a few days before making the final plunge to actually get the horcurxe. He let her go only because Ron went to hug her and Neville went to shake Harry's hand.

"you smell good, new perfume?" Ron asked as he squeezed her tightly, breathing in the new scent. It was her usually fusion of jasmine and lavender, but also another arousing scent he had never smelled on her before.

'draco's scent,' Hermione thought worriedly.

"yeah," she said after a few seconds of contemplation. Only Neville noticed the uneasiness of her voice, but pushed it aside. She squeezed him tighter. "I'm so glad your home."

The night continued to go on, they went down to the great hall and ate dinner, Hermione and Draco catching each other's eyes and Draco winking at her. She couldn't help but blush when he did this. She half listened to Harry and Ron's story, but half let her mind wander about her and Draco, and what they would do next.

Harry took Hermione's hand when they were finished dinner, and led her back to the Gryffendor towers where they walked over to the couch that they spent many a night on.

"you look so drained," Hermione said when Harry sat down, he turned to her.

"I'll just be happy when this is over, and I'm with you," he said taking her ringed hand looking at the ring, Hermione cringed at the thought, but didn't let it show.

"Harry, you can do this, we all can do this, you know we are all there for you," Hermione said squeezing his hand.

"I cant tell you how you're helping me threw this, just the thought of you makes all the bad go away," Harry said, and rested his head on her. She saw tears brim his eyes, something that she hadn't seen much over all their year together, and after all he had been through, this had to be really bad.

"Harry," she said stroking his back. "I know this is the hard for you, its hard for me, for Ron, for Neville, for everyone that cares for you. I know this is so much to ask of you, I know that we don't understand why it was asked of you, but I do know that you can do it. you Harry, you have the strength and character unlike any person I know, and I know that we are all going to do everything humanly possible to help you. We're safe in your hands, I'm safe in your hands," she said and put his hand on her heart.

She knew what he needed to hear from her, but she hoped she could deliver. She was doing this because he needed her to, she meant every word that she said, only she was saying it as a close, best friend, where as he thought she was saying this as his future wife.

Harry just laid there, he needed to be in his own thoughts, but with her by his side. When Hermione thought that Harry was asleep she tried to get up with out waking him, but he awoke.

"Mione, could you stay with me tonight?" Harry asked, and as Hermione looked at his face, his tired, boyish face that looked so helpless, she couldn't say no. "thank you," he said as she sat back down on the couch.

Harry rested on her again and closed his eyes, fighting the demons within. Hermione closed her eyes too, and tried to find sleep, but all she could think about was that this was the first night in two weeks she hadn't spent with Draco, and she missed him.


	15. Chapter 15

**You knowwww!!**

"Draco?" Hermione called when she walked into their common room. She didn't hear the shower running, and didn't know if he was still in bed. She ran up the stairs and into his room, but he wasn't there, she went in her room, but he wasn't there either. no sign of him anywhere. She quickly showered and changed before running down to the Great Hall.

'he wouldn't be mad would he? I mean he had to understand, I am engaged to Harry, its not like I cant spend time with him, espically when he comes home after two weeks away fighting Voldemort,' she said as she put on her school uniform, a grey skirt and vest with a white button up shirt that she left a few of the top buttons undone only because of lack of time.

As she walked in her eyes scanned the slytherine table for Draco, but she couldn't find him. She walked over and sat next to Harry, who looked much more alive and awake then he had the night prior.

"hey love," Harry said kissing her cheek.

"you feeling better?" she asked taking a piece of toast he handed to her.

"all because of you," he replied. They began talking, but Hermione kept looking at the farthest table away, and at the door hoping that she would see him before class.

not only did she not see him, as morning classes began, he wasn't present for any of them. She began to worry about Draco, where was he, he wouldn't miss class unless something was really wrong.

"I'll see you after class," Hermione said to Harry who had a free period.

"I love you," he said and kissed her.

"I love you too," she said, but she only noticed the lack of honesty in her statement. Harry turned left for the common rooms as she turned right for class. as she made her way around the corner, she saw students in front of her and was focus on catching up to them, not even taking in anything around her.

"Lav-," she said but was cut off by a hand being placed over a mouth. she stuggled as she was taken down a dark hallway. The person relased their grip on her and she turned around to face her abudctor. She was terrified, who would be kidnapping her at Hogwarts.

"Draco?" she asked as he brought his lips to hers.

"I missed you last night," he said after a few minutes of snogging.

"I'm sorry, I didn't intend to stay, but Harry needed me," she said but didn't need to say anymore, his lips were on hers once again. "as much as I enjoy this, we do have class."

"we'll get notes from someone," he said as his hands began to enter into her robes.

"but-," she said, but she really didn't want to part with Draco, part with what they were going to do. he began kissing her jaw, down to her neck, and pulled the robes off of her body. Seeing that her shirt was already unbuttoned at the top he took the liberty of undoing the rest kissing his way down her chest, she couldnt help but let out a little moan.

"but what?" he asked and she felt him smirk against her skin. She pushed him away.

"where were you in classes this morning?" she asked suddenly remembering the lack of his presence.

"I had to take care of something, it was nothing, it doesn't matter," he said but had gone back to kissing her. A flag went off in Hermione's head, Lucius letter came rushing back. She didn't want to alarm Draco that she suspected anything, as much as she cared for him, she couldn't forget who he was, and who his father was and how closely Lucius worked with Voldemort.

She began to take off his robes and unbuckled his pants. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist so that their proper equipment was aligned with one another. As they began to pant and moan in extrme pleasure Hermione pushed his arms against the wall. She payed attention to how he acted when she touched his left arm. Pushing on it a little harder than necessary.

If he was branded with the dark mark, he would be wincing and pulling away when she did that, and when she was satisfied that he hadn't been branded, she truly let her self enjoy what was going on between them, and made it very enjoyable for him.

As they made there way to their next class, a little dishevled looking from their previous activities, Harry came up behind Hermione nearly scaring her to death.

"and we have to do rounds tonight," she said to Draco, out of the blue.

"oh so you mean you do them and I go back to the common room?" he asked in that old attitude that Hermione had not heard in a few weeks.

"Malfoy, don't even get me started, you pull that one again and you're badge will be stripped before you could say quidditch," she said in the most threatening tone she could muster, they stared into each other's eyes and they both had to force a smile away on their faces.

"Chill Granger," he replied before walking away, subtly brushing her hand.

"I mean it Malfoy," she shouted at him, but he walked into the class room.

"has he been giving you problems?" Harry asked taking her hand as they followed Draco into class.

"nothing I cant handle, just being his normal arrogant self," she replied and had to hold back a laugh at the thought.

"I'm so proud of you," he said and kissed her, threw the corner of her eye she could see Draco cringe at the sight, but deicded not to mention it.

as class began she thought back to the hall way with Draco, how wrong it was to be doing this, how much it would hurt people if they were caught, the incident with the Camera the previous day should have been a warning, but they both overlooked it, they had taken care of it, and they would continue to take care of it as problems arose.

Hermione was sure of it. what she wasn't so sure of though, was her second guessing him. Up until the hallway, she had forgotten who he was, had forgotten who his family was, forgotten their hate for her, for Harry and Ron. Had forgotten how closely Draco's father and possibly Draco was with Voldemort.

She recalled that night weeks ago when he had proven to her that he was not a death eater, but how he had made the comment that his future had been decided for too long. Draco didn't seem like the kind of guy who would ever become a death eater, at least not to Hermione. She knew he could be cruel and mean, and was extermly feriocious at times, but she didn't think he would ever use those qualities against her, her friends, her side, not anymore.

She didn't want to live this affair with him, always second guessing him, finding ways to check his arm to see if he was a death eater, it wasn't fair to him; but then again she wasn't being fair to anyone these days, when she was with Draco she knew that it only pushed her farther away from Harry and Ron and the Order, only made her more of a disgrace then she could ever imagine. What would they think, say, do if and when they were to find out about her relationship with Draco on the side.

'they would tell me I am no better than him,' she thought, and knew it was true.

Half of her believed she was no better than trash on the sidewalk, she had a great guy who would litteally die for her, but she didn't love him. Because she didn't love him though, and because she stayed with him because he needed her, her actions were deemed a little better than they would be if that weren't true in her book.

She was with Harry for Harry, but in a relationship, she had to be in it because both people wanted to be so. Hermione and Draco were those two people who wanted nothing more than to be with each other. To spend time emotionally and physically with one another, it was the first time in her life that she would rather spend the day in the dorms in Draco's arms than in class trying to do well for her NEWTS.

She wanted to tell Draco she loved him, that she only knew him intimantly for such a short time, but that she loved him and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but she couldn't. she couldn't because of Harry, because of their situation, because she didn't know if she would make it through the war, because if she did, she didn't know what life would be like after the war. Because he was a Malfoy, and she was a Granger, because he was a pureblood and she was a Mudblood.

Everything was agints them, everyone was against them. It came down to two reasons why Hermione couldn't tell him though, couldn't tell him the one thing she wanted to so badly, a) because she was terrified he wouldn't say "I love you," back and b) because by saying it, it would ruin Harry's life.

'you can be happy with what you have, you like Draco, lust for him,' she told her self, and tried to keep convincing herself that, sometimes it was easier to just push it out of her mind.


	16. Chapter 16

"You look beautiful," Ginny squealed as she and Hermione were finally ready for the ball. It was Halloween night, Harry and Ron had left a week earlier to finish the hunt for the second to last horcurxe, and Neville had been instructed to take Hermione to the ball. Through out the week though, Neville had been giving her as much space as she wanted, and not asking where she was going, she gladly took it, but missed some of their afternoons they would spend together just laughing.

"no I don't, but you do," Hermione said as they both surveyed themselves in front of the mirrior.

"yes I do, but Hermione, look at you, Harry would die right now," Ginny said. she was wearing a royal blue dress that hung just below her knees. Her red hair and freckles a beautiful highlight. Hermione though, was easily the most beautiful girl going to the ball that night, even though she didn't believe it.

her hair was a bit more curly than usually, half of it done in a pony tail on her head, the rest hanging around her shoulders.

Her dress was a ruby red color, with a sweet heart neckline and halter straps, a ruched bust and a draped front, made from a silk fabric, she looked gorgeous. Mature and sexy, yet young and demeaure at the same time. She wore delicate gold earrings that had a black onyx gem in them, making her the mysterous and desierable women.

"Ginny shut up, I don't look good, now lets go, Neville and Dean are waiting for us," Hermione instructed, and they began to head down the stairs.

"our masks," Ginny remembered as they almost reached the bottom.

"I'll get them," Hermione replied turning to head back up the stiars to Ginny's room, as she did so she recalled the conversation she had with Draco before she left their dorms.

_"I wish I could escort you to the dance," he had said kissing her goodbye. _

_"someone would notice that you are not Neville," she had replied looking up to him in his arms. "but I wish you could escort me too." _

_"stupid Potter and his friends," he said rolling her eyes and she only rolled hers in response. _

_"I'll try to steal away for a dance," Hermione replied and kissed him one last time. They stood there in silence, Draco knew what she was thinking. _

_"no one will know it us because of the mask's," he kissed her and she looked up to him and gave a small smile. He always knew the right thing to say to her. She had been worried someone would see it was them, and in turn their whole relationship would fail, but he had just reassured her it wouldn't. they kissed a final time and then Hermione left. _

"You look great Ginny," Hermioine heard Dean say and Neville agree as Hermione headed down the stairs a second time, both masks in her hand.

"thanks guys," Ginny said, Dean looked up to the stairs about to ask where Hermione was, but stopped dead in his sentence when he saw her.

"Hermione, you, you look beautiful," Dean managed to get out, but he wasn't sure how, she blushed.

"thanks," she said as she reached the ground. She looked at Neville who stood with his mouth agape in awe. "what do you think Nev?" she asked quietly.

"you're gorgeous," he said, and she truly blushed. He walked over and took her arm. As much as she was flattered by everyone's reaction, there was only one reaction she wanted to see, would Draco feel the same way? she didn't think she looked beautiful or gorgeous, but she wondered if Draco would, and hoped he did.

"shall we go?" Neville asked leading the way, Ginny and Dean following. The two boys got over their initial reaction of Hermione's apperance, but knew with out a doubt that not only was she beautiful and gorgeous, that she was sexy and deseriable, probolly the hottest witch that would be at the party.

Before entering the Great Hall, they all put their masks on, for it was a tradition at the Halloween Ball to do so, when they entered people were already talking, dancing laughing and eating. Many glances came Hermionie's way, guys standing with their mouths a gape, girls whispering and pointing in approval or jealousy.

There were some people she were able to recognize threw their masks, but she was positive no many people knew it was her. She normaly didn't wear clothes that high lighted her body like this, and her hair was usually less curly, her make up less, she was sure only one person would recognize her tonight, and she only wanted to be with that one person.

As Neville escorted her onto the dance floor, she began looking around the room for him, unable to see him, until Neville twirled her around and her eyes landed on Draco. He stood with people who looked to be the figures of Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini and Parkinson, Parkinson whom was holding on to Draco's arm.

When Hermione had told him that Neville was taking her to the ball, she had also asked who he intended to take. He had replied no one, but Hermione insisted that he needed to take someone otherwise it would look odd, Draco Malfoy the man every girl wanted dateless? It looked impossible. The conversation had ended at that point by his lips on hers and a passionate round of sex, but later Hermione had brought the question up again.

_"why are you so curious love?" he asked sensing the wonder in Hermione. _

_"I'm just wondering who you are going to take in my place," Hermione said and Draco immedaitly understood why she was so curious, he was replacing her, if only for a night. he couldn't help but chuckle and she blushed, feeling stupid. _

_"Hermione, no one could ever replace you," he had said reassuringly and with such a conviction it had scared him. He had brought there faces closer together, and a smile had creeped upon both of them. "who would you like me to take?" Hermione needed to reason through it for a few minutes before coming up with an answer. _

_"Pansy," she said with a smile, half because she knew she was torturing him by bringing Pansy, but also because she pittied the poor girl. Draco had taken her to every ball, and left her for another girl almost every time, yet she still kept coming back to him. She knew if he asked Pansy to go, she would say yes, but then when he left her he wouldn't question why, only go find another guy to shag in place of Draco. _

_"that pug face?" he asked frowning. After Hermione explained her reasoning, leaving out the torture part, he had kissed her nose and rested his forehead on hers, putting his hand in her hair. "this is why they call you the smartest witch of our year," he said with a smile that made Hermione pounce on him._

As she recalled more of her moments with Draco, she forgot she was dancing with Neville, she kept stairing at Draco, smiling at him, and all he did was stare back, a mixture of a smirk and smile on his face.

"Hermioine," Neville said and she snapped back to reality and looked at him. "I know."

"know what?" she said but was worried that she knew what he meant.

"I know that you're seeing Draco, I know what you two are doing," he said. as she opened her mouth to protest he shused her by continuing to talk. "I need you to answer one question, and be completely honest with me, I promise, my opinon of you will not change from what it has been since day one," he said in only a tone a best friend and confidant could have. "do you love Harry?" The question caught her off guard, she had never voiced her true feelings out loud.

"not like he loves me," she said a few tears filling her eyes. Neville knew these were tears of frustration and of fear. He pulled her close and hugged her while they continued to dance.

"I don't know if I can condone what you are doing with Malfoy, but I wont stop you. You're secret's safe with me," he said into her ear. Hermione squeezed him tightly.

"Neville, I know that you probolly think of me as a disgrace upon gryffendors, and Harry, and the order-," she said.

"I told you I did not think any less of you," he said and in such a manner she knew he meant it. "Harry is my best mate, I know I am only a new addition to the trio, but I have always considered him such, he loves you Hermione, I've seen it since day one, but I've also seen you over the years. You love him, care for him, but you haven't been in love with him for a very long time," she looked down but Neville picked up her chin with his finger. "Draco loves you, and I think you love him too." She stared at him and smiled, she had seen them together, she could tell they were in love? But she wasn't even sure of that. "now go dance with him." She threw her arms around him and held him tight.

"Neville, you'll never understand how much I care about you, you are truly one of _my_ best friends," she said and as she pulled away kissed him on the lips. "you are a great man, who deserves a great girl." He was stunned at her action but recovered as quickly as possible.

"go get you're great guy," he said nudging her foreword. With one more smile she listened to his command and walked over to Draco whose back was to her. He stood talking to the same group of people he was always with, Pansy on his arm. She coughed a little and tapped his shoulder. He turned around and hid a smile, but she could see it in his eyes threw his mask.

"can I help you?" he asked in his most Malfoy like tone. She saw the other three guys staring at her, wanting every piece of her, if only they knew who she was. Pansy had raised an eyebrow at the presence of the mystery girl.

"I don't know, can you?" she asked biting her lip. She was trying to act in the most un-Hermionish way just so she wouldn't raise any suspcion. She heard the three guy, 'ohh,' at her reply, and she saw the look of defeat on Pansy's face as Malfoy pulled his arm from her and took Hermione's.

"a dance?" he asked and she nodded. As the song changed to a slow yet upbeat tune. He held her close and tight, more than he would any other random girl that came up to him at a dance. "you're breathtaking this evening," he whispered into her ear in such a manner that made her knees week and he felt it, so he grabbed hold of her more closely. She smiled up at him.

"your not to bad looking either," she said and he smiled at her. They brought their lips to each other's for a slow kiss, realizing that they were in front of all their classmates, but not really caring.

Draco had never felt more compelled in his life to do anything as much as he wanted to tell Hermione he loved her at that very moment. To scream it at the top of his lungs in front of almost every teacher and classmate they had.

"Hermione I-," he said but stopped short of finishing his sentence, she looked up to him, knowing what he wanted to say, it was almost as if she could read his mind. There was something in her eyes, something pleading with him not to say it, it broke his heart but he understood.

'not tonight,' he thought. 'tonight I won't say it, but I will soon,' he promised himself. He pulled her in closer to him, as if it was possible they could be any closer, and he felt her tremble when she was against his chest, not because she was scared or excited, it felt like she was holding in tears.

The night proceeded to go on, Hermione and Draco had spent the entire night on the dance floor, in each other's arms, while the whole rest of the student body whispered as to who it was the girl the Draco Malfoy was with. Only Neville knew, Ginny and Dean who had seen Hermione before she put her mask on had been to busy snogging in the corner and a little tipsy from some of the fire whiskey they drank to even realize Hermione was dancing with Draco.

As Hermione and Draco gazed into each other's eyes, they both saw the looks of lust and want in each other. Hermione, subtly yet deliberately pushed her hips against his, and could tell he was aroused by just this simple act.

"do you want to go?" he asked whispering in her ear. She nodded. As they began to walk off the dance floor arm in arm, Neville caught her gaze. She had seen him dancing with many of the girls he knew had a crush on him that night, he was finally starting to accept that Hermione would never be his girl friend, only his best friend, and he was okay with it.

"just one more thing," Hermione said letting go of his arm. She walked over to Neville, Draco's eyes following her. She gave a polite cough as the song ended and Neville turned around, smile on his face from the conversation he had with the previous girll.

"'mione?" he asked as if something was wrong.

"I thought it was only right to give my escort the first and last dance of the evening," she said curtsying. He bowed and they assumed the dancing position. "it seems like you had fun tonight."

"I could say the same for you," he replied and they both smiled.

"I've always known you to be honorable and loyal, and corageous Nev, I just never realized how much you exemplify each one of those characteristics. I know Harry and Ron and I were all dubbed something in our friendship, Harry the leader, Ron the lovable goofball, me I guess the brains, but Neville, you are the loyalist and the honorable, and that's a title which I think a lot of people covet. You'll truly never understand how much you've affected my life," Hermione said and they danced in silence. As the song ended Neville spoke, he had tears in his eyes but he wouldn't shed them.

"you'll never understand how much you've affected mine," he replied. The two classmates stood there facing each other. They hugged good bye and with a quick kiss on the cheek told each other they would see one another at breakfast the next day.

"should I be worried about Longbottom?" Draco smirked in a playful tone as Hermione made her way back to him and took his arm.

"I wouldn't be," she said, she wasn't going to tell Draco he knew, she felt it was breaking something she had with Neville, and she didn't want to do that. as they walked back to the dorm their lust only grew in between them.

"Draco wait," she said after a moment of walking. He turned around and watched as she took her shoes off of her feet.

"I never understood why girls would wear such ridiculously tall shoes when they are so painful," he said and she caught up to him.

"It kills to be beautiful," she said with a smile that he couldn't resist. He picked her up bridal style with a squeal from Hermione and carried her back to their dorms. She was so light in his arms, almost weightless. As they reached the portrait oor, Draco said the password as Hermione pulled off his mask.

"Draco Malfoy?" she said with a gasp and a look of horror on her face, as if she had no idea it was him. He playfully batted her nose.

"surprised it was me?" he asked and she bit her lip and nodded.

"but not disappointed.' They began to make out passionately as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom. He threw her on the bed with a gentle flop and then proceeded to stardle her, his legs on either side of her body, his arms supporting him. He pulled away from the kiss for a moment as he removed Hermione's mask.

She had such warm and welcoming eyes that glistened when she looked at him, and only him. He would never forget that sparkle, he knew it meant she was happy and it made him overjoyed to know that he was the source of that happiness.

As they went back to kissing passionately, Hermione threw off his coat and began undoing his shirt. He was untying her halter straps, running his hands along her body in the process. As Hermione removed his tie and flung it that it landed on the post of the bed they kneeled in the same postion they had been in, his shirt now completely unbuttoned. He was inches from her face.

"you are truly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life," he said between breaths.

"Draco," she whispered under her breath. It was a whisper filled with love, almost as good as an 'I love you.' It was filled with passion and lust and want, and compassion, and admiration, nothing else needed to be said as they made love for quite a while into the night.

when it was over and they lay in Draco's bed, his arm wrapped protectively around her, listening to each other's breath and exchanging comment ever so often, Hermione snuggled into his chest. Draco had placed his tie around her neck earlier, and Hermione, as she fingered it now, had no intention of giving it back.


	17. Chapter 17

**Read, Review, and Enjoy!!**

It was early December, the castle had just been decorated thanks to the head's direction. Red's green's, and gold's shone everywhere throughout the castle. All the students and the teacehers were antsy for the Holiday that was quickly approaching. As much as Hermione and Draco had been involved with Christmas at Hogwarts, they hadn't dared asked each other what their plans were because they did not want to face the harsh reality that they would not see each other or two weeks.

Draco laid upon his bed reading a book, he was tired from the day and was looking forward to the Two weeks with out school;

'But with out Hermione,' he said sadly to himself. He loved every second he spent with her. They were rarely apart. Harry had been going away more often and for longer times; everytime Draco had tired to inquire where Potter was, Hermione had silenced him with a kiss. He knew that she wouldn't tell him the location of Potter for two reasons; first he was a Malfoy, and a susspossed Death Eater. Even though he had proven to her many times, and not by her request that he was in fact not a death eater as was the rumor going around school, he knew she didn't think he was;but she knew his father was, and would never want to jepordize Draco's well being with information his father would kill his son to have. Also, she would never tell Draco because Draco was her lover, her secret boy friend, and they tried to talk as little about Harry and Ron when they were together as possible.

As Draco marked his place in the book with a picture he was extremely fond of, he looked over it again. It was a picture he had developed that Collin Creevey had taken that day, way back in September. He watched as he and Hermione laughed and smiled at one another, and would lean in to kiss one another every so often. It was on of his favorites of the ones he developed, the others were tucked deeply inside his trunk, never to be seen by anyone except him. He looked at the Hermione in the picture, and sighed.

How many times he had tried telling her he loved her over the past month, and each time she would beg him with her eyes, not with words to stop. Her eyes conveyed so much of her emotions, her wishes and needs. He saw the pain that was in her eyes when they begged him to stop, but he always did, not wanting to upset her. He loved her too much to cause her any harm, and would be furious with him self if he did, but still it was so hard not to shout 'I love you,' at the top of his lungs, when it was all he wanted to do.

He knew Hermione wanted to say it also, knew how bad she wanted Draco to say it to her, but he knew they only expressed it through their actions. The sex they shared almost daily had become more passioned filled each time they had sex, their desire and passion making up for the lack of words, but still exemplifying what they felt, although it wasn't enough for either of them.

They both felt the longing tugging at their hearts and souls to say 'I love you,' and even more so the yearning, and craving of wanting to hear it back. Draco had tried so hard to mask the feeling away like he had masked his attraction to Hermione away for years, but it was only proving to be more difficult each and everytime he saw her, touched her, held her and kissed her.

As he closed the book, the picture holding his place there was a knock at his door. Her light, barely tapping knock that would ask for entrance, yet she always knew it was granted.

"come in," Draco said as he tucked his arms behind his head and the door opened. It revealed Hermione in a very short and sultry silk robe that hung just passed her bum. It was a light pink color that went so perfectly with her complection. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders, her hands clenched the front of the robe closed, but Draco knew how she would be more than willing to open it just for him.

"don't you look sexy tonight," he said as she shut the door behind her and leaned on it, raising a foot so that her knee jutted out in front of her. She bit her lip and nodded, arousing Draco immediately. Draco wanted nothing more than to stand up and kiss her feriously against the door, but he waited paitently knowing that if he did he would get a better experience than if he did not.

Hermione slowly let the robe go, she loved the games she played with him. It revealed her in nothing but her kinckers and bra, all very lacy and revealing. She watched as Draco's eyes widen at the sight, although he hadn't even realized that his facial expression had changed, Hermione couldn't help but bite her tounge from laughing, it would ruin the moment. She walked over to the bed crawling on to it, until she stradled Draco's pelvis. She closed her eyes as he brought his hand up and brushed it against her cheek, and shivered with pleasure as he pushed the robe off of her shoulders. His hands traveled down her milky skin. She opened her eyes and began kissing his neck and ear, blowing into it. she felt him get tight and couldn't help but smile into a kiss she was sharing with him. She began to unbutton his shirt and kiss down his chest, a moan escaping his lips, it only turned her on more.

As they were about to reach their moment of ecstasty;

"Draco, I," but she stopped dead in her sentence. He stopped to look at her eyes, he knew what she was about to say, but she pulled him into a kiss before he could read her thoughts. When it was over and they lay next to each other, Hermione turned her back to him, something she did not even do in sleep.

"Hermione what wrong?" he asked as he pushed him self up on his elbow, kissing her shoulder and pulling her closer towards him. He looked at her face and saw that a few tears were running down her cheeks.

"did I hurt you?" he asked immediately worried. She couldn't bring her self to look at him but shook her head no. no they had just had mind blowing sex, with no pain, but still Hermione couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"Hermione what's wrong?" he asked pulling her into his grasp, holding her tightly and yet gently letting her know that he was there for her, he would always be there. "Hermoine I lo-," she put her hand on his mouth before he could finish his sentence.

"please Draco, don't," she choked out and continued to cry on his shoulder.

"why wont you let me tell you I love you?" he asked watching her face. She cried harder when he said this, and yet she closed her eyes and smiled when he did.

"everytime I try and say it, you beg, plead with me to stop, please, just let me say it."

"Draco-," she began but he cut her off.

"Hermione Jane Granger, I love you, I love everything about you, we are connected, and I never want to loose that connection with you," he said and couldn't help but feel lost and upset when she pulled away from him she grabbed her robe and pulled it on.

"you had to go and say it," she said heading for the door. Pulling his boxers on he grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"you know how I've felt all along, why does it make a differacne that I verbalized it?" he asked searching her eyes for a hint.

"don't you get it?" she screamed at him. "I love you too Draco, I love you more than I love Harry," she said in a voice just above a whisper. Draco had known she loved him, but suddenly realized why it was so hard for her to say it.

"more than Harry?" he asked and she nodded and fell into his arms.

"when I close my eyes and think about the wedding, about spending my life with him, I see you Draco. I cant see him at the alter, I see you. And it scares me and terrfies me, yet I want it so badly to be true. When you hadn't said I love you, I could still try to forget how I felt about you, how I care for you so, but you said it, and I can't hide my feelings, not from you or me. I want to spend my life with you Draco, I want to have a piece of your heart always, but I cant, I cant have it. I don't know how long I can have it still, but I never want this to end. I never want to leave you Draco, I love you," she cried on his shoulder and he stroked her hair trying to calm her down.

"Hermione, you will always have a piece of my heart," he said gently to her and he couldn't help but feel the smile that went agaitns his shoulder.

"what will happen to us Draco? When we graduate, after the war? With Harry, with everyone?" she asked, all questions that had been haunting her mind for the longest time, and that she did her best to try not to think of. He wanted to give her a strong answer, an answer that would bring her peace.

"I don't know," he said trufully, he couldn't lie to her and say they would be together, he didn't know what he wanted to do after he graduated, he didn't know what he wanted to do after the war, he didn't know what side he would be fighting on in the war, he didn't even know if they'd make it threw the war.

"I hate not knowing," she said laughing at her self, she felt like such an idiot at the moment, he got a smile on his face when he saw this but held her tight.

"Hermione, no matter what happens, I will always love you, no matter where we are in one, three, five, ten, fifty years from now, I will always love you. You will always be the girl for me, and even if you marry Harry or any other wizard, you can always know that I love you more than life its self, you never have to worry about me Hermione. I am always right here," he said touching her heart. "and here," he said touching her forehead. "I love you, and will always love you," he said and gently kissed her lips. Her tears were dissipating now, but she felt better with what he said.

they made there way back to the bed slowly, more gently this time, they both knew that there were about to make love for the first time, and wanted to wrelish in every moment as long as they could.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, knowing that they were now closer than two people had ever been. They both slept with smiles on their faces, not worrying about tomorrow or the next day, but just enjoying the moment, that's how they would take each day, enjoying it as much as they could.


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning seemed brighter than any other morning they had woken up together before. Hermione's subtle curls laid sprawled against the pillow, Draco's arm right under her neck. They had been in bed for fort minutes, lying there and talking with no intention of getting out anytime soon.

"I love you," Draco said to her and she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"you've already said it fifty times this morning," she said putting her hand on his chest, how she loved his chest.

"I'm making up for all the times I wasn't able to say it before," he replied and she gently kissed his lips. As Hermione looked around Draco's room, something that she didn't do all that often, her eyes fell upon some Christmas cards on his desk. She stood wrapping her robe around her and began to look through them.

"who are they from?" she asked reading the holiday messages and a smile coming to her lips.

"friends, some cousins," he replied waiting for her to get back in bed, it was cold when she wasn't with him. "what are your plans for the holiday?"

"the burrow as usual," she said. she loved the burrow, it felt more of a home to her than almost anywhere else. She loved the Weasley family, she loved all her memories there, she loved spending Christmas there, but she also loved Draco and didn't want to leave him.

"the what?" he asked, never hearing anything like that before. Hermione crawled back into bed and couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Ron's home. I've gone there every year for Christmas," she said as she assumed her position next to Draco again.

"figures the weasel would live in a burrow," he said almost under his breath, but Hermione heard him and slapped his arm playfully.

"and let me guess, the prince is going to his manor?" she said with a smile.

"unfourtantly yes," he replied, and she was taken aback as why he was so sad.

"whats wrong Draco?" she asked running her hand threw his hair.

"its just that, I cant go back there this year, I cant enjoy the holiday with out you there, it doesn't feel right," he said confessing the truth, a smile crept on to her lips.

"I know, as much as I love the Weasley's, it doesn't feel the same with out you," she said tracing doodles all over his body.

"I just wish there was someway that you could come," he said wrapping his arm around her.

"I don't think your father would be too keen on the idea of me coming to spend Christmas at your house-," she stopped dead in her sentence.

"what?" he asked as he sat up with her.

"he might not be too keen on me coming to your house, but what about another girl?" she asked thinking about a plan that could actually work.

"I mean as long as she was not muggle-born, I guess he would be fine with it," Draco said, not following Hermione's thought pattern. "what are you getting at Mione?"

"what if Pansy came?" she asked looking at him, and he got a look of horror on his face, and then started laughing.

"I would think you are trying to fix me up with that slut," he said and she rolled her eyes.

"Draco, use your brain. What if I came _as _Pansy?" she said, thinking the idea was brilliant. The idea then clicked in Draco's head.

"poly juice potion?" he asked and she nodded. "its brilliant, it would work, but I've never made it before, I have no idea-."

"don't worry about it, I know how, I've made it before with Harry and Ron, all I need is a few hairs of Pansy's and-," Draco cut her off.

"when have you made it?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"it doesn't matter," Hermione said recalling the catstrophe that that was.

"no when?" he asked and she looked at him. He didn't have malice in his voice, he was just curious. Hermione wasn't sure how to phrase it, how was she to tell the man she loved that she at one point thought him the opener of the chamber of secrets.

"it was back in second year," Hermione bean, recalling all to vividly the events and experiences of that potion.

"you made the polyjuice potion when you were 12?" Draco asked, mouth agape. She nodded and continued.

"we were investigating what we thought was a lead about the Chamber the potion brewed brilliantly, Harry and Ron turned into the people they intended to with no problem. I on the other had grabbed the hairs of a cat instead of the girl I was trying to become," she said and couldn't help but laugh recalling how mortified she had been, Draco chuckled too imagining what she must have looked like.

"who did Potter and Weasley become?" he asked. Hermioine bent her head down and concentrated on the sheets as she gathered the courage to reveal to him the truth.

"Crabbe and Goyle. We thought you had something to do with the chamber, it was when I didn't who you truly were, it was when I hated you," she said in almost one breath. She loked up to meet his eyes, hoping that they would not be full of rage and anfer, not that they would be, but she wasn't sure how someone you love would react when you told him you suspected him of opening the Chamber of Secrets.

"I'm sorry I ever made you hate me," he said bringing enveloping his arms around her. "I'm sorry I ever called you the names I did, or hurt you in anyway," he said and kissed the top of her head. She smiled and looked up into his eyes.

"you've been forgiven, I know who you really are Draco, and it just gives me another reason to love you," she said and he squeezed her tighter, touched by her words.

"you are brillant you know that? 12 years old correctly brewing a potion of that complexity. You have know idea how happy I am that you thought of this, I didn't want to spend my Christmas with out you Hermione, I need you, love you too much," he said as they fell back on to the pillows.

"I'm happy I get to spend Christmas with you too Draco, just, when you get Pansy's hairs, make sure there hers," she replied, not wanting to relive that fiasco. They both laughed and continued to lay in bed discussing different aspects and details of their vacation, both looking so much more forward to it then before.

Later in the day Hermione walked through out the halls of the school with a skip in her step. She was coming from an after noon in the library working on her transfiguration essay, but not really able to focus too completely on it. she had also grabbed the ingrdiants that she needed for the potion and would begin to brew it that night. she was so excited to go to Malfoy Manor, she was sure it was beautiful and even in the times where she hated Draco, she had always dreamed of seeing his house. Now though, as excited as she was she was also terrfied something would go wrong and everyone would find out that she was not actually Pansy. If Lucious were to realize that in fact it was Hermione Granger he was spending the holiday with, a muggle born and Harry Potter's fiancée at that, she could see some major problems arise.

Pushing those thoughts away though, she looked forward more to spend as much time as possible with him, not having to watch for people's eyes, and not having to hide anything from anyone, espically the people she loved most. As she walked down the busy hall, the Great Hall to her right, she saw Draco coming the opposite direction, dressed in his quidditch practice robes, broom in hand, it seemed as if he had a tough practice. He had mud marks all over his body, and his hair was ruffled as if the wind had been blowing very hard on it. as windswept as he looked, Herminone thought it made him look more handsome, if it was possible.

They locked eyes in the hall, forgetting everything else around them. They wanted nothing more than to kiss right there, but they couldn't, too many people were around. Draco had been having the same feelings of excitement at her coming to his home for the Holiday, the same feelings of relfie that they wouldn't have to hide their relationship in front of everyone, even if it was going to be Pansy who was there as his girl friend. He knew that Hermione could never fully be her, but could defiantly pass. He couldn't wait to show her the things that he wanted to, the little pleasures of his estate that he had grown up with that meant so much to him. As he walked closer to her, passing her, their eyes locked, smile on both their faces, a person pushed past him, making him stumble a few steps before regaining his balance. He looked around ready to take off points before he realized who it was.

"Harry what are you doing home?" Hermione said in complete shock. Draco continued walking, smile gone, but still watching them closely. He was revolted when Harry brought his lips to Hermione's and began to make out in front of everyone in the hallway.

"we did it Hermione, we got it, we only have one more horcurx," Harry said and Hermione threw her arms around him. He picked her up and spun her around.

"oh Harry, I'm so proud of you," she cried and kissed him, she could not be happier for Harry than she was right now. She was so proud at all the hard work he had been doing, and finally came so close to the end, they could almost taste it.

"Harry, you're face," she said putting her hands to some deep gashes that looked like they were healing. She got a quick look at Draco before he rounded the corner to their dorms, she wanted nothing more than to follow him, and shag him as soon as she step through the portrait, but she knew he had to give some time to Harry. Draco smiled at her, but she could tell that he couldn't satnd there wathching Harry and Hermione interact as fiancés, it was too hard and he felt little self control over him self, fearing that he would actually knock out Harry if he had the opportunity. She smiled back, and they nodded their heads signfyign that they would see each other later.

"its nothings, there healing," he said grabbing her hand and kissing her fingertips. Hermione brought her gaze back upon Harry, she wanted to keep going after Malfoy, but she couldn't, she had to focus. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, he picked her up off the ground he was so excited.

"how's Ron?" she asked realizing he wasn't right behind Harry.

"he's good, he had a near death experience, and he realized something, that he didn't want to die a virgin. I have a feeling he and Luna are a little occupied right now," Harry said grinning ear to ear, it only made Hermione laugh, she shook her head. Harry brought his lips crashing down on hers and then whispered in her ear.

"I may not be a virgin, but I've missed you too much." The words were sweet, the meaning right, but they way it felt was wrong. The words whispered into her ear were hot and harsh, not like Draco's cool way making it feel as if wisps of smoke were entering her body, making her shiver just at his touch. Hermione wanted nothing more than to say she was tired, to say she wasn't feeling well, but she couldn't.

'he'll know somethings up, plus it will have to happen sometime,' she decided, she kissed him, then pulled away from him and winked. Danitly leaving his grasp she turned in the direction for the Gryffendor tower.

"we cant there," he said wrapping his arms around her.

"why?" Hermione asked.

"seamous, Dean and Neville are in the bedroom," Harry said, hands roaming over her body.

"tell them to leave," she suggested but knew it was fataile to do so. "well then Room of Requirement?" she asked, turning to face another stair case.

"Ron and Luna are occupying it at the moment," he said. "what about your room?"

"my room? Well," she stopped before she said Draco. "Malfoy's there."

"so? Its not like he censored his activities while you were there," Harry pointed out.

"still," Hermione said, but couldn't get out of it. Harry kept nudging her with his hot and sweaty kisses on the back of her neck. Hermione conceded and turned for the Head's Dorms.

Harry clung to her as they walked through the portrait, he was kissing her so passiontly, but it was plainly obvious to see that she had no intrest in kissing back, but he had no idea.

"Her- Granger what the hell do you think you're doing?" Draco asked trying to put on his most Malofy-ish tone possible when he saw Harry. He had been sulking on the couch since he saw Potter kiss Hermione, now even in his own common room he had to witness it. he knew he was the affair, the one she was cheating with and not on, but it didn't feel like that to him, and he knew it didn't feel like that to her. She shot him a look, begging for forgiveness and he nodded saying he understood with out letting Harry see.

"she is spending some time with her fiancé Malfoy," Harry said and the words hit Malfoy like knives.

"is it necessary for you to undress her right in front of me Potter? Not everybody wants to see _her_ body," he replied and Hermione's lips forced back a smile, Draco loved the sight of her body, every touch made him shake. He had tried to bring him self to say, 'mud-blood' but couldn't do it, couldn't say something so hurtful to his only love.

"trust me Malfoy, I wouldn't want you to see Hermione's body any day of the week," Harry said and took Hermione up the stairs into her room. She gave him one last look of apology before the door closed and Draco was left standing in the common room, as his love of his life was being shagged by possibly the man he hated most in a room not twenty yards away.

Hermione tried to get into it, the same emotions of pleasure, love and release she used to get when she and Harry would have sex were not there. Harry was just so happy to be with her that he didn't notice the discomfort and unusualness of Hermione's lack of actions. By this point he was normally breathing heavily, about to let out a moan of sheer pleasure, but nothing was there. She hated the feeling of just being an outlet for someones need of relase, she knew that was not how Harry intended it to feel like for her, he intended for them to make love, but with the lack of love that Hermione felt, and the lack of pleasure, it was how she did feel.

She closed her eyes and thought of Draco, how uncomfortable he was right now. She couldn't help but wish that he was here with her instead of Harry, how when she was with him it was only sheer unimaginable pleasure, and the truest love. She began pretending it was him there, only because she was beginning to feel something when she thought of him. She realized that even the thought of Draco Malfoy in her mind made her aroused.

After a few more minutes of convicing her self that Draco was in fact the one she was having sex with, her breathing quickened. As both Harry and Hemrione were about to hit the highest point of pleasure, Hermione whispered Draco's name under her breath. Catching her self, and scolding inwardly, she opened her eyes praying Harry hadn't heard. When she saw that he was just flopping over catching his breath as she was hers, she knew he hadn't. how could she have been so stupid and actually said his name? after a few moments of lying there she got up and changed into fresh clothes. Harry, kissing her arms as she dressed, changed also. It was time for dinner, and he was exhausted, but Happy to be home.

As they left Hermione's room, she looked around for any sign of Draco, and could say she was relived when he wasn't there. She was sure he couldn't have stood it being in the same part of the castle as she and Harry were, and didn't know if she could face him after what she had just done with Harry.

As they sat down at their table, they saw Ron and Luna walk in, both a glow about them smile's krept on their faces as the couple kissed and walked over to their repsctive tables. Ron sat down with a plop, smile plastered on his face.

"I'm glad you made it home safe Ron," Hermione said trying to force her smile back.

"me too," he replied, as much as she tried, Hermione couldn't help but burst out laughing, Harry happy to join her.

"you know it isn't funny, it was beautiful," he said which only made them laugh harder, he was turning red. "I didn't laugh at you two when you did it the first time."

"I'll have you know Ronald Weasley that you most certainly did, and then hid your head in embaressment for a week," Hermione added trying to catch her breath. They all laughed for a little while before they were able to calm down and move on. Harry and Ron had been telling her about how they got the Hrocrux, and what battles they had to go through.

"I am happy to say that we will not be going away until after Christmas break," Harry said taking a gulp of Pumpkin Juice.

"about that guys," Hermione said, she had thought about how she was going to tell her two best friends that she wasn't going to spend Christmas with them each time she had, she had never came up with a concrete answer, but figured she had to wing it. "my parents wrote while you were gone, they want me to spend Christmas with them," she said in her most believable voice possible. Neville who sat next to Ron only looked at her, knowing she was lying. She looked from Harry to Ron, but refused to look at Neville.

"But Hermione, this could be our last Christmas together," Ron said, it was what all of them feared but no one wanted to admit. It was also why she wanted to spend it with Draco too.

"I know Ron, and that's why I told them that they day after Christmas, I would be coming to the burrow to spend the new year with you. Its just that their parents Ron, there saying its my last Christmas before I graduate and they would really like to spend it with me, plus there is family that I haven't seen in an awfully long time," Hermione added, the boys shook their heads in acknowldgement, they were at least happy to spend the New Year together. Hermione sat there not knowing what to say next, to continue the lie or to change the subject, she was happy when she was saved by her love.

"well isn't it nice to see St. Potter and the Weasel back in the Great Hall?" Draco smirked as he walked up behind Hermione and Harry.

"Malfoy, I do trust that you've been up to no good, how is that death eater father doing anyway?" Ron replied, Hermione knew Draco tensened at this, but had to act as if her alliance was with Harry and Ron. Draco ignored Ron's question.

"Granger, we've got rounds," he said and turned on his heel heading for the exit. Hermione stood up all to quickly, almost eagerly.

"how has he been treating you this year?" Harry asked catching her hand.

"we've been," she looked for a word, but found Neville's eyes. he nodded. "civil."

"if he gives you a problem? Just let us know Mione," Harry said and kissed her. She nodded.

"I will, now you boys should get upstairs and go to sleep. After the events you've been through," she winked at Ron and Harry. "I am sure you are extremely exhausted. I'll see you two in the morning," she said and gave Harry a quick peck on the cheek and with a nod to Neville and Ron, she almost ran out of the Great Hall into Draco's arms.


	19. Chapter 19

**okay guys, so this is a realllly long chapter. i was going to split it up into two parts, but i feel it flowed better as one... let me know what you think!! please! thanks to all you guys who reviewed, im keeping all of your critiques in mind, and i would lovvvvvvvvvve any other comments and reviews you guys have!! thanks! **

**Read, Review, and Enjoy: **

Hermione had been gone the good last part of the hour. She had spent most of the trip back from Hogwarts in the Head's compartment with Draco, cuddling and talking as the snowy scenery passed them through out the window. It was only forty minutes ago that she had gotten up and left the compartment to transform into Pansy, but Draco didn't think it should take this long. He worried there was a problem, he worried that something happened to Hermione.

The closer they got to London, the more his heart pounded. Should he go out and look for her? If something were wrong he would want to help. As he stood and rested his head on the window, still dressed in his uniform, sleeves rolled up to his forearm, the compartment door slid open. He turned around, and found Pansy. She looked so like her self that he thought it actually was her, her long straight black hair, oval face, and blue eyes.

She walked closer to Draco and wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey Drakey-kins," she whispered sweetly, she sounded like Pansy, this couldn't have been Hermione.

"Get off me Pansy," he said pushing her away. Pansy only grinned.

"So it did work then?" she asked, her voice now sounding much more like Hermione and Draco was relieved.

"Look at you, I actually thought you were her," he said pulling her back and kissing her forehead.

"I figured I needed to do a voice changing spell also, to really play the part," Hermione smiled breathing in Draco's scent. He looked her up and down. Hermione's figure did not differ much than Pansy's. They were about the same height and same weight. Pansy's legs were skinner than Hermione's, but they made them look like sticks. Hermione's were perfect, they were strong but did not bulge with muscle and they made her look more attractive than Pansy's legs. Hermione was wearing a slytheirn uniform she had managed to steal from somewhere. The green went with her hair so perfectly.

"You know you really should have been in Slytheirn, you look great in these colors," he said and she laughed and pulled her self back closer towards him.

After a few moments of snoging the train finally came to a halt. Draco grabbed both his suitcase and hers, and they left their compartment, ready to head to his home. As they reached the platform, she saw Ron and Harry looking for Mr. and Mrs. Weasely. She wanted to wish them a Happy Christmas, and that she would see them soon, but stopped when she looked down and saw she was in a Slytheirn uniform.

'I'm Pansy, remember, Pansy Parkinson,' she thought as Draco wrapped his arm around her waist. It felt so good not having to hide their relationship, not having to worry that someone was around the corner, and if they saw them together would spill their secret. Hermione loved the feeling of being open with Draco in public, being able to touch hold and kiss each other.

"Happy Christmas Draco, Pansy!" Blasé shouted over to them as they headed out of the platform. They both waved to acknowledge Blaise's comments and were happy once they reached the busy streets of London. Draco rounded a corner with Hermione, down a dark alley.

"Where are we going?" Hermione asked trying to evade the puddles that were on the ground.

"Home," he said and linking arms with her, he apparated to the front of Malfoy Manner. They stood out front of an iron gate, the letters MM made to fit the front of it. As Hermione looked past the gate, her eyes fell upon a gorgeous home. The only other home she could think of that looked like this was the White House in America. It was large and had columns lining the front. Window's plastered every few meters from one another, light filling the house making it look almost, welcoming, something Hermione did not imagine possible for the Malfoy Manner.

She looked at the front yard as Draco opened the gate for her, she stepped in and they grabbed each other's hand, both lacing their fingers together. Even though a light snow had fallen and there were no leaves on the trees, it was beautiful. Sprawling land, that looked like it never ended. There was a pathway that leads from where they stood to the front door; Hermione began to imagine what the yard looked like in the spring and summer. The green of the grass would be so vibrant, and the trees would provide well-needed shade and also line the pathway. She was sure there would be flowers also, for she could see flower boxes on the bottom windows.

Draco watched as Hermione looked around in amazement, and stared in awe at her. He hadn't said a word until he reached the doorstep. Opening the door he had so many times before he let Hermione step in.

"Oh Draco, I am so glad you are home," a women came floating down the stairs embracing her son. Draco, slightly embarrassed, still welcomed his mother gratefully. Hermione had never seen Mrs. Malfoy before, but she thought she was pretty. She was a shorter woman, with a petite body. She had short blonde hair, not as blonde as her husbands or sons, but blonde enough. Her eyes were a sky blue color, and were filled with happiness at the sight of her son's presence. She wore a black dress long sleeved dressed that flowed as she walked, she looked quite charming.

"Mother, I would like to introduce you to my girlfriend, H-Pansy Parkinson," Draco smiled at his mother and then at Hermione, only she had caught the H he had begun saying.

"Pansy it is so nice to meet you, Draco has written very well about you over the past month, Narcissa Malfoy," she said sticking out her hand.

"Pleasure's all mine Mrs. Malfoy," Hermione said shaking it daintily.

"I am so glad that you are able to join us for the holiday, it is a time to be spent with loved ones, I do trust your trip went well?" she said escorting them away from the door.

"Oh it was fine, thank you. Mrs. Malfoy, your home is beautiful, the detail," Hermione said as they entered the sitting room. It was a beige color and a fire was going bringing a certain warmth to the room. Hermione had immediately notices the small carving that were in the molding and on the fireplace. Little intricate details like this always made a place feel homier.

"Oh thank you Pansy," Narcissa replied. "Not many people in this house appreciate design and detail as much as I would like." Draco could tell that his mother really liked Pansy, or whom she thought was Pansy anyway.

"Is father home?" Draco asked as he held onto Hermione's hand.

"He'll be home for dinner, which should be ready in an hour. I am sure you two are tired, why don't you show Pansy to her room Draco, and you can rest for a little before we eat, I believe Tom is making pork this evening," Mrs. Malfoy said sitting down and taking a sip of tea that appeared in front of her. There was a book sitting open on the couch that she picked up. "You can give Pansy the grand tour of the house also."

"Of course," Draco smiled and kissed his mother on the cheek before he began heading his way upstairs, Hermione right at his feet.

"You're home is so beautiful," Hermione said as she caught glimpses of different rooms as she walked down the hallway. Draco began showing her different bedrooms and bathrooms, she marveled at them all and made comments that Draco had only ever heard his mother make.

"I'll show you the rest when we go down stairs, this is my room," he said opening the door. Hermione stepped in, curious to see what his room looked like. It was green and black and silver, no surprise to her. He had a sprawling king sized bed with a green duvet. He had a desk, armoire and chest of drawers in his room, all an ebony wood. He also had a matching bookcase that was filled with many books about magic. Hermione looked to the chest of drawers where a few pictures sat in frames. One was of him and his father on a broom; Draco couldn't have been more than seven or eight. Lucius actually looked like a kind person in this picture, smiling at his son's delight. Another picture revealed Draco sitting at a table with Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini. Hermione realized it to be taken at school since they were all wearing their uniforms, there was a birthday cake sitting in front of Draco and the guys seemed to be egging him on to blow out the candles. A smile crept on to Hermione's face as she saw this.

On the walls, she was sure to his mother's disgrace, were posters of quid ditch teams, and a triangular flag for Slytheirn, one would normally see for a muggle high school.

"I really like your room," she said turning around to meet his eyes.

"Thank you, I really like it too," he kissed her on the forehead. "And now I will show you your-," he was stopped by a dog barking and bounding into the room.

"Ayer! I wondered where you were buddy," Draco greeted the dog as it jumped onto its hind legs, placing its two front paws on Draco's chest. Hermione brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle her laughter and hide your smile.

"I never knew you had a dog," she said as Draco continued greeting the very happy dog. He was a big tan colored dog; Hermione would have guessed a Tosa Inu, only because her neighbor had one when she was younger.

"See Malfoy's do have some affection in their hearts," Draco teased and she rolled her eyes. The dog took notice that there was another person in the room; Draco grabbed his collar before Ayer could get closer to Hermione.

"He doesn't really like outsiders," Draco explained. Hermione looked at the dog, there seemed to be no malice in its eyes.

"He probably doesn't like outsiders because they don't like animals," she said and bent down on her knees to the dogs level. She put her hand up for the dog to sniff.

"Hermione I really wouldn't-," Draco said but became quiet as the dog started licking Hermione's face.

"Hey boy," Hermione said, a smile on her face she stood up and the dog began wagging his tail frantically so Hermione would pet him.

"He really likes you," Draco said and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"That makes two Malfoys," Hermione replied kissing his chin.

"Shall I escort you to your room?" Draco asked as he picked up her suitcase and they headed down the hallway a door. Draco opened the door and revealed to Hermione the most beautiful room she had ever seen. She stood there taking it all in, mouth agape.

The walls were painted beige with cream color trim, making the room feel airy and light. The large windows which allowed a lot of sunlight gave the room a dazzling intensity. There was a large queen sized bed, its headboard against a wall. Two night tables, which rested on either side of the bed, each with a gorgeous crystal lamp. The wood that made up the bed, armoire, dresser and vanity was a creamy color that matched the trim of the walls. Directly across from the bed on the opposite side of the room was a large fireplace, a fire already going in it. A small sitting area, a small couch, chair and table sat around the fireplace, which provided an excellent spot for lounging and or reading, the latter of which Hermione was sure she would be doing quite a lot.

"Its gorgeous," Hermione said as she took everything in, she walked to her left where she discovered a balcony that overlooked a lake that was frozen over, and past the lake was an abundance of woods.

"It's home," he said approaching her from behind and wrapping his arms around her waist. He showed her where her bathroom was, and she marveled at its beauty, the pure marble and elegance of it all. They walked back into the bedroom and flopped on the bed.

"Its comfy," she said turning to face him. She put her finger on his nose and tapped it a few times.

"I have a feeling we'll be spending a lot of time in it," he said a devilish smile on his face.

"I have a feeling your right," she replied and kissed his lips. They lay there for a little while before getting ready to go down to dinner.

"What would Pansy wear?" she asked, as Draco was about to leave the room.

"Something slutty," he replied and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well there is going to be a new Pansy in town for this Christmas," she said as she walked into the bathroom to change.

She looked at her self for really the first time as Pansy. The girl really was pretty. She had long raven colored hair, darker than Harry's, black Hermione would say. She had pale skin, sky blue eyes, pink lips, and rosy cheeks. Hermione realized that the girl was only considered a pug face with the ridiculous amounts of make up she wore. Hermione didn't feel the need to put any on, she thought Pansy was pretty just as she was. She began to run a brush through her hair and was amazed at the ease that it took to get the brush from the top of her head to the bottom of her hair.

Only once had she worn her hair straight, and never did it again, but realized just how much she loved her hair being this straight. She decided on wearing a dress that she had bought but never had an opportunity to wear, it was a simple black dress that you could tie at the bottom so that it came in midthigh. She wore black see through leggings and flat black and silver shoes. She looked at her self and felt like she was going to a funeral, but black was a color she decided people wore around here to celebrate. A lot of the guest rooms were black, or dark colors, and it didn't surprise her either because this _was_ the Malfoy family, and as much as she loved Draco, there were still death eaters. Trying to make her self look a little brighter, she found a red hair band that she loved to wear and place it in her hair; the pop of color gave her just what she needed to light her face and outfit.

There was a knock on her door as she walked out of the bathroom and she opened it to find Draco standing there, Ayer at his side. Draco had been leaning against the doorway waiting for her, and couldn't help but give her the once over when she opened the door.

"Is it too much black?" Hermione asked, not able to read Draco's expression.

"Not for my parents, there's never enough black," he smiled and kissed her. "You look gorgeous." This simple statement made butterflies appear in her stomach, Draco always had the ability to create those butterflies every time he complimented her, that effect hadn't happened in a long time with Harry. She felt her cheeks become more, she was blushing.

"Thank you," she got out as she closed her door. Draco took her arm as they began their walk through the hallway and down the stairs.

"So I never asked how long you've had Ayer," Hermione said noting how the dog followed Draco's every step.

"Eight years," he said patting the dog's head; Hermione saw a look of compassion in Draco's eye. She took it to mean that Ayer had been Draco's only true friend, well at least until Hermione came into his life, or so she'd like to think.

"I really never fancied you a dog person, an animal person at all," she said as Draco looked back to her.

"Lets just keep it a secret, don't need the whole world to know I have a soft side," he chuckled and kissed his cheek.

"I like your soft side," she whispered in his ear.

"I thought you liked it rough," he replied a smirk appearing on his face and she batted his arm playfully. As they laughed as they walked down stairs, they stopped in their tracks when a booming and domineering voice spoke.

"Draco," it said. Both Draco and Hermione turned their gaze to see where it had come from, who it was. Hermione wanted to look away in disgust at Lucius Malfoy. How she despised the man, if the Order knew she had the opportunity to kill him right now, and she didn't, she was positive they'd be furious at her. The only thing that took Hermione away from her thoughts was the feeling of Draco's body stiffening out of fear at the sound and presence of his father. Never once in all of Hermione's years of knowing Draco had she ever seen, or rather noticed his reaction to his father. She swore she felt his blood run cold, and his heart begin beating extremely fast. She caught a glimpse of his eyes before Lucius spoke again, it wasn't just fear that was there, it was hate.

"Yes father," he managed to get out.

"Welcome home," Lucius said walking closer to his son and Hermione. Lucius was in a mood she had never really seen him before in. happy.

'This must be how he is when he is at home,' she thought to her self. She saw the hate, fear, and worry in Draco intensify as he took a step closer to them. She squeezed his hand letting him know she was right there.

"Thank you," Draco barely got out. "Father, this is my girlfriend, Pansy, I believe you've met before," Draco said, revealing something Hermione hadn't known. If Lucius had a preconceived image of Pansy, how was she supposed to live up to it?

"Ah yes, in Flourish and Blott's, a quick exchange it was. How nice to see you again," Lucius said sticking out his hand. Hermione took it only because Draco nudged her too, he could sense her apprehension.

"Likewise," she said through clenched teeth. "Thank you for allowing me to spend Christmas with you, It was a very kind offer," she said knowing the respect that Lucius expected from people like him.

"Ah, no need for thanks, the more the merrier they always say. How could I refuse Draco he his desire to spend Christmas with his love?" Lucius said in a tone Hermione recognized to be degrading Draco. She replied with a weak smile and almost cringed as he put his hand on her back and began escorting her through the hallways to the dining room. Lucius sat at the head of the table his wife to his left of him. Draco walked around the other side of the table and pulled out a seat for Hermione.

"Thank you," she said simply as she sat down. Draco squeezed her shoulder returning the knowledge that he was there for her. She gave a broader smile to him as he sat down at the opposite head of the table.

"It smells wonderful," Hermione said turning to Narcissa who had been sitting there taking in the current situation. Over her years of being married to Lucius and raising a son in a death eater environment, being one her self, she had acquired such acute skills of the power of observation that didn't even realize she had sometimes. She could look at anybody, any situation and be able to read into it within seconds.

"Oh well thank you dear, but it wasn't my self who made it," she said but stood and began to fix the plates for Hermione, Draco, her self, then her husband. Draco and Lucius stared at her. One, they had never seen her fix people's plates when they sat down at a meal, it was something entirely out of the ordinary, and Draco just hoped that she didn't suspect anything.

"Its delicious," Hermione said as she took a bite and Narcissa smiled.

"So how has your school year been?" Narcissa asked her son and Hermione.

"Its been going well," Draco replied, watching his father, mother, and Hermione at the same time.

"I do hope you are preparing for your NEWT's," Narcissa replied.

"The boy wont need NEWT's, there is something bigger that we have to deal with first," Lucius said taking a sip of his wine.

"The war won't last forever Lucius, Draco and Pansy will have to find something to do after the war," Narcissa replied shooting daggers at her husband. It was apparent to Hermione that Narcissa hated Lucius right then and there.

"If they make it through it," he said under his breath, only Hermione heard, she bit her lip to stop her self from talking.

"Pansy, what do you intend to do with you're future?" Narcissa asked and Hermione looked up and smile, subtly looking to Draco for and answer.

"Frankly I'm not quite sure, a passion of mine has always been to be a healer though," Hermione said coming up with the first job she could think of.

"A healer, my Grandfather was a healer, a wonderful job," Narcissa smiled proudly. "And Draco, have you've given any consideration?" as Draco was opening his mouth to answer his mother, his father began talking for him.

"Draco will follow in my foot steps, preparing to take over my position when he is of certain age," Lucius said spearing a piece of pork with his fork.

"And what position would that be father? Your job at the ministry or your "loyal" following of the-," Draco said, Hermione could see the rage in Draco's eyes.

"Draco," His father replied in a monotone voice. All he had to do was glare at his son; it was as if he was shooting a thousand daggers at him.

Hermione wanted nothing more than to stand up and defend Draco, she wanted nothing more than to pull out her wand and say the killing curse, but resisted. She was not here as a warrior for the Order, she was here as a guest in the Malfoy Manner.

"Certain matters are not to be discussed at the dinner table," Lucius said icily, and Hermione, although intently focusing on her fork at the moment was almost positive that Lucius eyes had looked over to her as the reason to end the conversation.

The four of them sat at the table in silence, Hermione had never felt more awkward in her life. She knew Draco was seething, all anger directed at his father. She was amazed how submissive Draco became when he was around his father, Draco was the only man she had ever known to be so aggressive and assertive even when facing the people who had the highest power and authority, and yet in the presence of his father he became a meek, yet enraged man. Draco was seventeen now, he did not have to live in fear or consequence of his father, he was an adult, but Hermione also reasoned that with Draco being adult it meant that he had to live in fear and in consequence of his father more so now than ever before.

"Mrs. Malfoy, you're home is really beautiful," Hermione said after a few more minutes of silence, she felt the tension and anger rising with each passing second, and tried to alleviate it somehow. Narcissa Malfoy greatly appreciated the fact of what Hermione was trying to do.

"Oh thank you Pansy, it really is so nice to have someone in the house that appreciates décor as much as I do," she said in a manner a wife and mother would say referring to her husband and son. Hermione gave a polite laugh.

"That painting in the sitting room above the mantle, was it a Louis piece?" Hermione asked recalling the few famous Magical painters she remembered.

"Why yes it was," Narcissa replied, extremely impressed.

"His pieces are extremely rare, my mother has always had a flare for art," Hermione said, picturing her own mother who did love paintings and sculptures. "I've never actually seen one in person before though, it really is beautiful."

"Perhaps one day you can introduce me to your mother then?" Narcissa offered and Hermione smiled.

"I'm sure she would love it," Hermione replied, forcing back a smile, if Narcissa only knew that the mother Hermione was referring to was a short women with bushy brown hair and perfect straight teeth, maybe her opinion would be a little different.

"Where are your parents this holiday? Draco informed me that they were traveling?" Narcissa replied.

"Oh, they went on a vacation to," Hermione couldn't think of a place, where would Pansy Parkinson's parents travel too.

"Switzerland, or at least that's what you told me," Draco said saving the day, Hermione gave him a smile of thank you.

"Yes, I have some distant cousin's who live there that my mother is quite fond of," Hermione said with a smile.

"I hear its lovely in the winter time," Lucius said, bringing his presence, which was so not wanted.

"I haven't been there in many years, but yes, from what I can remember it is," Hermione replied. They continued with frivolous conversation for the next few minutes until they stood from their dinner.

"Draco, if you could come to my office in ten minutes, there are something I would like to discuss with you," Lucius said turning, his robes blowing with the force of his turn. Narcissa began talking with one of the house elves, a little to harshly for Hermione's liking, but even so could not do anything about it. Draco and Hermione left the dinning room and headed for the stairs.

"You're quite the liar extraordinary," he said wrapping his arm around Hermione's waist.

"Its not something I pride my self on," Hermione replied, and it was true, she hated lying, it made her feel terrible. "What does your father want to talk to you about?"

"Nothing," Draco said in such a tone that made Hermione realize it was something he didn't want to discuss with her.

"Draco," she said touching his face. The compassion, longing, and love that he had in his eyes was completely different than the hate and fear he had had just minutes ago. He took her hand and kissed it.

"I'll be back soon," he said and kissed her lips, making her feel warm in side. She nodded and watched as he walked back down stairs. She couldn't help but feel pained, he wasn't telling her the truth, and she had come to learn that if there was one person in this world that she told everything to, it was Draco. She had expected that he would do the same, but apparently he was hiding something and she hoped he intended on telling her.

After waiting in her room for a few more minutes, she found that she was bored. With nothing to do but sit and watch the fire, she tried to recall the direction Draco had given her to a library they had in the home.

Not wanting to disturb any of the family that may be having heated discussions, she tiptoed as silently as possible through the halls poking her head in doors to see if she finally found the right room.

When she did, she stood in the doorway, mouth agape. She marveled at the extensive collection of books that the Malfoy's had. The room was lined with bookshelves, and had aisles down the middle. To her left sat a little reading area with a large fireplace, a fire warming up the room completely. There was a sofa and two armchairs and a coffee table. It was a red fabric that covered the furniture and Hermione nearly jumped when someone walked out of the aisles.

"Oh Pansy, I didn't mean to scare you," the voice of Mrs. Malfoy said as she looked up from a book.

"Mrs. Malfoy," she said catching her breath. "Draco said I could come down here and read, if that's alright with you," Hermione replied and Mrs. Malfoy smiled.

"Of course dear, do you enjoy reading?" she asked taking a seat in one of the armchairs.

"Very much, its my favorite pastime," Hermione replied, she could tell Mrs. Malfoy was just as much of a reader as Hermione was by the way she treated the books and the library.

"How wonderful. I didn't discover good reading until later in my life, but these days you would be hard pressed not to find me spending my free time in here," she smiled. "Would you like some tea?" Hermione nodded her head and two cups appeared on the coffee table.

"Would it be alright if I browsed through your collection to find something to read?" Hermione asked and she nodded her head while testing the tea.

"Of course, anything you want. If you need help finding anything let me know," she said and opened her book to the first page.

"Mrs. Malfoy, you have such an extensive collection, its so wonderful," Hermione said when she returned ten minutes later with a work of fiction written in the 1500's.

"I am glad that I have found someone who appreciates and enjoys reading as much as I do. I say Pansy, we are much more alike than I could ever imagine," Narcissa replied, there was a fondness that was growing for the girl who she thought was Pansy.

"It's so hard, especially with my fellow classmates, they all tease me when they see my nose in a book," Hermione replied taking a seat on the couch, and curling her legs up close to her. Narcissa only shook her head in disgrace.

As Hermione began to read, she didn't realize that Narcissa was staring at her with a certain loving and warmhearted stare. Hermione was so engrossed in the story of a magical wizard fighting for the love of his life that she didn't realize Narcissa was staring at all.

To Narcissa, Hermione embodied everything in the daughter she once had. She tried not to think about it for the last nineteen years, but she rarely forgot it, rarely forgot what Lucius did to her when he took her baby away, her little Avena. Living in a house with Lucius, the man she hated most in the world, raising Draco to be a good person amidst all the bad he lived through and was influenced too in his life had been long and hard and still was. Things such as reading and decorating, along with a host of other activities was what helped to take her mind off of the problems of the world, take her mind off the mistakes she had made in her life, take her mind away from the life she was stuck in, and finally, she had found a person who acknowledge and appreciated such things, it made her feel less alone. True, it came in a form of a seventeen-year-old girl, but never the less Narcissa couldn't help but feel a sense of growing admiration towards Hermione.

They spent a few hours in the library not even realizing that the time was going by so fast. They had read, shared laughs, and discussed an array of books and novels, debating plot schemes and characters true intentions.

"My, look at the time," Mrs. Malfoy said as she looked to a small clock on the mantle. "I don't know about you, but I must be heading off to bed if I want to wake at a reasonable hour." Mrs. Malfoy stood and with her wand, levitated the book she had been reading back to its rightful spot on the bookshelf.

"I agree, it's been a long day," Hermione replied and did the same thing. Making sure to extinguish all the light the two women headed out of the library and for the stairs. Once they reached the top Narcissa turned to go the left and Hermione to the right.

"Good night Pansy," Mrs. Malfoy said.

"Good night, and thank you for letting me use your library," Hermione replied again.

"Anytime, feel free to go down there. Pansy, I am sure Draco knows this, but he is very lucky to have you as a girl friend," Mrs. Malfoy said touching Hermione's arm.

"I like to think my self lucky for having him as a boy friend," Hermione replied and know that she touched Narcissi's heart. With a final goodnight the women headed off to their rooms, Hermione only to find Draco asleep on her bed.

Being as quiet as she could, she closed the door to her bedroom and grabbed her nightclothes, changing in the bathroom. As she did she transformed into Hermione again, and was happy to be in her own skin. She turned out the lights in the bathroom and quietly crawled into the bed.

"You know I've been awake the whole time," Draco said wrapping his arm around her, bringing her in close to him.

"Sure," Hermione said and kissed his chin. He opened his eyes and smiled. "What did your father want to talk about?"

"Nothing," he said, the moonlight fell through the window and landed on her face. Draco began brushing his hand against her cheek.

"Draco, why won't you tell me?" she asked and he closed his eyes pretending that sleep had suddenly come. "Will you ever tell me." when Draco opened his mouth and began fake snoring she turned over on her other side, thinking, 'two can play at this game.'

"Hermione," he said, he hated when her back was towards him, and she hated it too. He turned her around so they faced one another. "It was just my father being my father okay?" He knew Hermione was satisfied with that answer, but hoped she would take it. He didn't want her to know what they really had been talking about; he was doing everything in his power to hold off on his father's requests and demands. Yes his future had been planned since he was born, but as of late he had only been given more hope that perhaps there was a chance that fate and destiny intervened, presenting him with another path, another future to take.

"For tonight, fine," she said and kissed his lips gently. He kissed back before she tucked her head under his chin. "Night, I love you," she said closing her eyes.

"I love you too, sweet dreams," he said and kissed the top of her head. Sleep came quickly for both of them, although they were not the ideal couple, they were happy, and that's all that mattered to them.


	20. Chapter 20

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A few days went by and it was December 22. Hermione could say that this would be one of her happiest memories in her life, not even Lucius Malfoy could wipe the smile away that had been plasterd on her face since her arrival. He had grown more kind to Hermione, rather Pansy, since that first night, and she had tried to be more kind to him, but found it was nearly impossible, she could act the part of Pansy well, but she could never but be anything except polite around Lucius, the man had wronged her and the ones she cared about in so many ways.

Hermione spent her days as Pansy and her nights as Hermione. Through out the day, she would be with Draco, he had taken her all over the country side sharing with her things he had grown up with such as his stable with horses and what was once his secret hide out when he was a child. She had spent hours laughing with him during the day, living life freely, not afraid of anyone who saw them together, but still there was something there that they both didn't realize until it was night, and Hermione was Hermione again. Each time Draco saw her after her transformation, it was as if all was right and good. with her being Pansy, he knew she was still Hermione, yet he couldn't help but realize the eyes he was longly looking into, and the body that he was saying 'I love you,' was not that of Hermione but that of Pansy, and at night when she really was Hermione again, he would spend hours professing his love for her, making up for all the times he had said it to Pansy's form.

They had spent the nights in either his room or hers, usually making love unless they were tired from their days events, but always falling asleep in each other's arms. A lot of times, Lucius would take Draco away into his study, and they would stay in there for many hours. Hermione had tried listening through the door but found out very quickly that a silencing charm was placed upon the door making it impossible to hear anything that was being said. she could tell though, that it bothered Draco. Each time after the meeting with his father he would come out of the room, faced flushed as if he had been yelling, and always go right to Hermione's arms. She had given up on asking him what was happening, wht they had talk about, he didn't tell her, and she knew he wouldn't. she trusted him, with her life and love, and knew that if it was important he would tell her when the time was right, he wouldn't be dishonest, not to her at least.

When these meetings took place, espically the longer ones, Hermione would find her self in another wonderful conversation with Narcissa. Whether about a book they had read, an idea about a color of paint, or simply looking at one of the fashion magazines, Hermione felt a bond growing between her and Draco's mother. She felt almost a disservice to Narcissa for not being truthful with who Hermione really was, and was upset by the fact that Narcissa probolly wouldn't even talk to her if she knew that Pansy was really Hermione. After pushing those thoughts away though, she had always looked forward to her times spent with Narcissa.

This afternoon in paticular, Hermione said in one of the chairs in the bed room, her legs thrown over the side and a book tucked in her lap. The fire which was roaring next to her was keeping her warm and toasty, and the book had her entranced. The Malfoy library was so large, she found she could spend hours in there and not even realized that the time had gone by.

"I love it when you do that," Draco's voice emmenated throughout the room. Hermione jumped, dropping the book.

"oh Merlin Draco, you scared me," she said as he kissed her hello.

"I didn't mean to, but the way you scrunch your nose, its so cute," he said flopping on the couch. Hermione got up from the chair and joined him, lying on top of him. He put his hand on her face and brushed some hair away from her eyes.

"your so cute," she said and kissed his nose.

"I have been told I am devilishly handsome," he said and rolled her eyes and smiled. They sat there for a few moments, the fire crackling before Draco sat up, pushing Hermione up with him.

"and I was just getting comfy," she said as he stood.

"come on love, we are going to do something fun," he said offering her his hand.

"such as?" she asked as he began to walk out of the room.

"you'll see, bring you cloak," he said and she grabbed it and met him out in the hallway. He walked through the house like a man on a mission, holding on to Hermione so as to make sure she would follow. She knew her insesent questioning would not help her in her desire to discover where they were going, so instead let him lead with out question.

They walked down the stairs and through the kitchen out into the harsh of winter.

"Draco, its so cold," Hermione said as she placed her cloak around her arms. Draco turned to her and brought her closer to him, he began buttoning the buttons one by one, and when he reached the last he kissed her to give her an extra burst of warmth as he pulled her hood up.

"were almost there love," he said in such a manner that Hermione would trust him even if he was leading her into a pit of ravenous wear wolves. As they quickened their pace as they passed through a load of trees, they came to a stop right before the lake that was visible from Hermione's bed room window.

"the lake?" she asked looking to him as he pulled out his wand and pointed them at his feet, mutter a charm that instantly created skates on the bottom of his shoes.

"would you care for a skate?" he asked stepping onto the ice, wand aimed at her shoes.

"I don't know how," she said slightly emabressed. Out of ever muggle habbit Draco could have acquired, it had to be ice skating. She saw him hold back a laugh as he said the charm and skates appeared on the bottom of her shoes.

"you don't understand Draco, I really cant. I cant even stand up straight," she said but could say no more as Draco pulled her onto the ice. Wobbling a little she grabbed onto him for support.

"I can teach you," he said to her as he started to back away from her. She tried to cling onto his cloak but found that keeping concentration on standing up straight was hard enough.

"try to skate over to me," he said, only a few meters away.

"please Draco, do we have to do this?" she asked, she was never one for embaressing her self.

"Hermione, you have done so many death defying acts over the years, and you cant even attempt skate three meters away?" he asked and watched as her face contorted in malice, just the reaction he wanted. He knew that it was when Hermoine was in the state that she was unstoppable.

Not wanting to be proven as a wimp, Hermione held her breath and closed her eyes as she glided a little at a time reaching Draco's open arms. He had a welcoming smile on his face.

"See, it wasn't that bad," he said and she laughed at her self. They began sakting, Draco leading and Hermione still clinging to him for dear life. Draco seemed to float over the ice as if it was magic that was keeping him up, Hermoine envied him.

"when did you learn to ice skate?" she asked as she gained her balance standing straight as he skate circles and figure eights around her.

"when I was little, to me nothing says Christmas like skating in the back yard," he said coming in on a sharp turn to her, it made her laugh. He started to skate backwords just to impress her until he neared the edge of the pond.

Hermoine began to follow him, confident with her newly acquired skills. As she skated a few steps, she realize how over confident she actually was and came crashing down on to the ice holding her wrist. Draco skated over to her, his simrk which was plastered on his face watching his love attempt to skate was removed and replaced with a look of worry. All color drained as he fell by her side.

"Hermione are you-," he said but stopped talking as she looked up at him, her face bright red. At that very moment she began laughing so hard she couldn't stop. He had laughed along with her for a few moments, but stopped, not only not finding the situation as funny as she did, but worried as to the fact of why she was still laughing.

"love, what is so funny?" he asked as her laughing started to cease, when she looked into his eyes again though, trying to answer him she only replied with laughter.

She was laughing so hard and so much that her insides actually hurt her. She held on to her stomach, her back laying agiants the cool of the ice. Looking at Draco didn't help the situation either, his face stuck in a look of confusion more so than worry was so unbefitting to him that it only prolonged the laughter that emanated from her overconfadiance at her inability to ice skate.

"I'm sorry," she said after a few minutes of getting her breath to calm down. she took deep breaths, a giggle escaping every now and then but for the most part she was just trying to catch her breath.

"may I asked you what was so funny?" Draco asked, almos tin fear of her becoming subject to another one of her lauging outbursts. She smiled at him and touched his face with her bare hand.

"I wish I could tell you," she replied and kissed him softly. It was simply one of those things that a person started laughing about and had absolutely know idea why. All Hermione knew was that she hadn't felt so relieved, completely carefree, in such a long time. Draco helped her up off the ice, still watching her with an eyebrow raised and brought her close to him.

"how bout I hold on to you tight? I think you've had enough adventures for one day," he said wrapping his arms around her waist, she rested agints him and let him guide them over the ice. They did this for a little while longer before Hermione sat on the side and watched as Draco skated effortlessly. He was not skating to show off, but merely for the pure enjoyment of it. it was something he could always do that would make him forget all his problems and just relax. He skated near Hermione the whole time, hands in his pockets trying to keep warm as they talked.

"you're very graceful," she said after a few moments of watching him.

"well I beleve we have found something where I am more graceful at than you are," he teased and she rolled her eyes but agreed.

"I believe so, don't get to cocky," she said as she began forming a snow ball in her hands, behind her back.

"oh dear, we've been past the point of cocky for sometime now," he said and as he did so and turned around to face her, his chest was met with a whack of snow. "ow," he said and the sudden impact had hurt. He looked over to Hermione whose face was red as a beet.

"did you do that?" he asked and with out saying anything she nodded. "I believe there is some payback I have to give you," he said and she stood up from her sittnig position.

"catch me if you can Malfoy," she said and began running through the trees back to the manor. Cursing under his breath, and quickly saying the counter charm for the skates he took off after her.

"Hermoine?" he shouted as he entered the brush looking for a glimpse of Pansy's dark hair. "come on this isn't funny," he said again getting worried because of her actions. He was met by yet another snowball in the middle of his chest. Hermione stuck her head out from behind a tree, and smiled devilishly.

"oh this is war," he said and lunged for her, but she had already begun running back to the manor, Draco was only at her heels. He caught her right out front of the door to the kitchen. Wrapping her in his arms.

"gotcha," he said and began bringing his lips to hers. As she was about to give in to his kiss she slinked out of his arms when he was least expecting it.

"not that easy you don't," she said and ran into the kitchen heading for the stairs, both forgetting that Lucius and Narcissa inhabited the same dwelling. Draco loved the way she was playing this game of cat and mouse she was playing, it was so arousing. He knew she would be heading to the bedrooms, and deicded to cut her off before she had the opportunity.

"up stairs, already?" he asked meeting her as she reached the steps, having taken a different hallway. She bit her lip and shook her head running back towards the kitchen. He took after her and finally reached her as they reached into the kitchen.

"Draco!" she squealed with delight as he picked her up and sat her on the island in the middle of the kitchen, pushing pots and pans out of the way.

"Hermione," he whispered into her neck. "my Hermoine," he said, it was the first time he had ever reffered to Hermione as possessing her, and she had never ached for his touch more. She was his, all his, in her heart and mind she was.

She put her arms around his neck pushing his body even closer on hers. He spread her legs with his hands, holding each hand on each of her thighs. Even through her black jeans, she couldn't help but shiver, espically as his hands got closer and closer to her pelvis. Letting a small moan escape her mouth as he continued his actions and bit her bottom lip, she almost immediately regretted it.

"Draco Pansy, your-," Lucius spoke as he walked into the kitchen to tell the two children that their presence was required in the library.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Hermione almost shrieked as she opened her eyes to the voice which Draco clearly didn't hear.

"dad!" Draco said jumping around but keeping a hand on Hermione's thigh the whole time.

"you're mother, wanted to see you two in the library for tea," Lucius got out after having to compose himself. Hermione hopped off of the counter and immediately pushed past both Malfoy men, never feeling more embaressed or exposed in her life. Draco straightned out his shirt and coughed a little before following Hermione out the door. Lucius still stood there, a smirk stuck on his face. As Draco nodded his head at his father, attempting to pretend that nothing happened. As he had got a foot out side Lucius put a hand on his shoulder stopping him in his stride.

"try sucking along her shoulder, girls tend to react well to it," Lucius said into his ear. The hot breath made Draco cringe, but he couldn't help but wonder how true his father's comment was. Once Lucius had removed his hand, Draco made his way into the library.

Hermione sat on one of the arm chairs, legs crossed, tea in hand, her face still red. Draco took the seat next to his mother and gave Hermoine a smile meant to say, "sorry."

"I thought you two would like to have a spot of tea before dinner," Narcissa offered as she handed Darco a tea cup.

"thank you," he said taking it.

"your Uncle Lester came earlier today, he is unable to attened the party but wanted to make sure we gave out his presents, their in the sitting room," Narcissa said to her son as she took a sip of tea.

"I do hope he is well," Draco replied, but Narcissa was cut off by Hermione's question.

"what party, Mrs. Malfoy?" she asked.

"our annual Christmas ball that Lucius and I host ever year on Christmas eve, surely Draco did tell you about it," Narcissa said looking from a very surpised Hermoine to Draco who only looked at the contents of his cup.

"no he neglected to say anything of the sort," Hermione said throwing a glare in his direction.

"Draco, how could you not inform Pansy?" she said scolding her son but then turning her full attention to his girl friend. "its really a wonderful Christmas celebration, I did hope for you and Draco to be in attendance. I didn't think I needed to remind him to invite and inform you," she said looking back at her son with disdain.

"slipped my mind," Draco said looking up to his mother, but refusing to meet what he knew was Hermione's death stare.

"Draco really," she said. "I do hope that you two didn't have anyother plans for the evening."

"not that I am aware of, but maybe Draco has something he would care to share with us about the agenda?" Hermione asked in a polite yet forceful manner.

"no, nothing at all," he said again looking at the content of his cup.

"excellent, then I do expect you to attend," Narcissa said happily taking a sip of her tea.

"Mrs. Malfoy, I don't have a dress," Hermione said after realizing her lack of formal wear which she was sure this party would be.

"hm, yes that would prove to be a problem. You're two tall to fit into anything of mine, not that you would want to be looking like a women of my age-,"

"nonsense mother, I would be proud if Pansy looked like you at your age," Draco said trying to compliment his mother but she only looked at him with a grim expression. Hermione stifled a laugh and a smile into her tea cup.

"I would be more than happy to go into town tomorrow with you Pansy dear to go dress shopping. I can owl Melinda this evening with your size and she can put aside all the dresses she sees fitting," Narcissa said. the idea of shopping, something Hermione felt like she hadn't done in forever gave her a happy smile.

"that sounds wonderful," she said finishing her cup of tea.

"its done then, tomorrow morning you and I will hit the town," Narcissa replied. Hermione had a sudden joy, something she was looking forward to more so than should be expected of simple dress shopping.

For her, it seemed she had spent every minute with Draco, since her arrival, and since they became a couple back at school, it was getting to the point that she wasn't realizing how much it was suffocating her. She almost longed for the time away, not that she loved Draco any less, only that she needed some breathing room from their constant passion, loved filled events. Some time Hermione Granger time.

"dinner should be ready in an hour or so, I'll see you then. I am going to go owl Malinda," Narcissa said standing, she seemed as excited as a little girl. Hermione placed down her tea cup and with out looking at Draco headed for the stairs.

"Pansy," he called only because his parents were around, but Hermione ignored him. He followed her up the stairs and into her room in the silence not wanting to get into an argument in front of his parents. He shut the door as she flopped on her bed, picking up a book she had been reading.

"you don't have to go dress shopping with my mother tomorrow," he said trying to move her over so he could get on the bed, but she didn't budge. A panic arised in him, Hermione and had never had a fight since they were together, sure they threw words, but when they did that it was to make up, they had never had an argument like this.

"I want to go dress shopping with your mother, but the better question is why didn't you tell me about the party?" she asked not looking up from her book. to someone looking on it would seem as if she was extremely interested in what she was reading, but in truth she couldn't pay attention.

"I don't know," Draco said looking down and in a quiter voice, Hermione always took this voice to mean he had something to confess.

"I think you do, and if you want me to spend the night in your bed tonight, you better fess up and fast," Hermione said in a very matter of factly tone that made him smile.

"all it is a gathering of Death Eaters, they talk, laugh, eat, celebrate, but its really not fun, I've always hated it. I didn't think you would want to be stuck at a party with a bunch of Death Eaters so I was trying to find us a way out of it," Draco said and Hermione lowered the book.

"I've been living in a house with a bunch of death eaters for the good part of the week, I think I can stand a celebration with them," she said and he smiled to say you're right, but something was wrong, Draco never gave up that easily. "you cant stand a celebration with them."

"I've been celebrating with them for 17 years now, trust me, its nothing new, I was looking out for you," he said and she stilled eyed him with curiosity. They were trying to recruit him as a Death Eater, she was almost positive as that's what Draco and his father had been talking about, and now at a party stuck with most of them he feared that he would be corned, inducted, and he wouldn't be able to stop it.

"I'll be with you all night," Hermione said sitting up and taking his head in her hand. Draco knew she knew he was worried, but still it was her way of reassuring him she was there for his fight.

"you will?" he asked in an innocent tone. She kissed him on the cheek, he felt so much better hearing her say that, even though he already knew it.

"always," she whispered. His lips moved to hers, it was his way of saying thank you. As his lips traveled down her jaw to her neck and then to her shoulder, leaving a trail of wet kisses, he felt her melt into him, ready to give into any and every desire.

"Draco," she said as determined as she could as he sucked her shoulder making her weak.

'Dad was right,' he thought amusingly to himself.

"do you ever think we spend too much time together?" she asked wanting his honest opinon. She felt him falter with his kisses, wanting to get the right answer; as he already proven that he didn't always know.

"I could never spend enough time with you," he replied, he had decided a while ago that if he had to spend every waking moment with her, it wouldn't be a terrible life at all.

"No, I mean," she found it exteremly hard to concentrate on what she was trying to say as his hand moved over her breast. "I mean don't you miss spending time with guys, talking about quidditch and doing other guy things?" she asked pulling away which made Draco realize she wanted an honest answer. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"I haven't really thought about it, but I guess yeah," he said recalling the times he spent with Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle fondly. Since being with Hermione, he hadn't spent nearly the amount of time with them that he had before. Sure they only did stupid things when they were together, but they were still his boys. He watched as a smile formed on her face, she was happy with him for being honest and not saying that he wanted to spend all his time with her.

"I want you then, tomorrow, when I go out with your mother to go spend the day with you're friends," she said excitedly.

"I was going to come, to watch out-," she cut him off.

"Draco, I need my girl time, and that's why I know you need your guy time. I will be fine with your mother, we get along famously anyway. Will you spend the day with the guys?" she asked as she leaned in closer.

"yes, but I'll miss you," he said meeting her half way.

"I'm sure will have plenty of reconnecting tomorrow night," Hermoine said and their lips locked.

"is that a promise?" he asked playing with her hair as they kissed.

"it's a pledge," she said against the kiss.


	21. Chapter 21

**so here it is, the last complete chapter that i have previously written out. the beginning of the next chapter was written before, and i'll indicate that, but this is the final complete chapter. please, review! esp. if you want your input considered! i will make a special comment to everyone who puts out an idea that i end up using!!  
Read, Review, and Enjoy!! **

"Narcissa darling how are you?" a witch who was dressed in red and green colored robes with a ridiculus hat creid when Hermione and Narcissa walked into a store in hogsmeade. It was on the opposite side of town from the school, the part the students rearely went to. Hermione had never even known it was there. It was actually a beautiful store, with the finest items she ever seen. Silks, cashmeres, diamonds, it was so much to take in.

"Happy Christmas Melinda, I am well and your self?" Narcissa asked removing her cloak. Hermoine did the same, but her eyes wandered around the store at its grandeur. Narcissa watched as Hermione took it all in, and couldn't help but get a smile to her face.

"quite well Narcissa, thank you for asking," Melinda replied as the two women hugged hello. "this must be Pansy." Hermione's attention snapped to the witch in the colorful robes. "Narcissa wrote about you very fondly in her owl last night, it's a pleasure to meet you." Hermione blushed.

"nice to meet you too," she said shaking hands. Melinda glanced over her once and then turned to Narcissa.

"and she is dating your son?" Melinda asked and Narcissa nodded, smile on her face.

"He is one very lucky boy," she said and a smile crept up onto Hermione's face.

"I'd like to think of my self as the lucky one," Hermione replied and Melinda put an arm on her shoulder.

"isn't she so modest Cissa?" she asked and the women laughed. "now lets see where to begin? I selected all the dresses in your size last night and tucked them in the fitting room for you, we can do any and all alterations if need be. What kind of dress were you looking for? Silk? Stain? Strapless? Long sleeved? Blue? Red? Black?" Melinda said grabbing Hermione by the arm and dragging her back into a fitting room that had two chairs, and a table with a tea pot sitting expectingly on it. in the middle of the room was a platform on which Hermione was instructed to stand as she tried on each dress. The lighting was bright, but perfect, it made her feel like a supermodel, and she hadn't even tried a dress on yet.

Narcissa watched as Hermione took it all in, eyes wide as snitches.

"Melinda we don't want to over whelm the poor girl," Narcissa said scolding yet affectionately.

"of course not, lets see. Well first you have beautiful black hair, so that eliminates the black dresses, we don't want to blend too much dear, but if you like the dark dress we could always do a navy blue. Your figure, hmm, not strapless, no, not cuffed either," she said eliminating from the hundreds of dresses that lined the room. "do you have a preference in anything?" she asked taking Hermione opnion into consideration.

"no, not at all," Hermione said as she eyed the dresses, dying to try them on. After a few more minutes of eliminating dresses, Melinda went back into the shop as more people came in with promises of returning later.

"which would you like to try on first?" Narcissa asked standing.

"oh Mrs. Malfoy, they're all so beautiful," Hermione said as she began to undo her robe.

"Pansy please, call me Narcissa," she said and Hermione smiled and nodded.

"which do you think?" Herminoe asked, valuing her opinion.

"hmm, how about an elegant emerald?" she asked picking up a dress that was quite beautiful. Hermione tried it on and liked how it fell, but it was obvious that they both thought she could do better. for two hours they continued trying on dresses, ohing and ahing creating piles of yes, no, and maybes for dresses.

"tea time girls, you need a break. Drink up and then you can continue to try on," Melinda said poking her head in the room and carrying a tray of tea. Hermione, picking up the bottom of a pink frou frou dress that was most certainly a no trudged over to the setee and sat down, nearly getting lost in the dress its self. Attempting to push it down so she could see, she found Narcissa's smiling face.

"here dear," she said and with some magic shrunk the fringes of the dress.

"thank you," Hermione smiled repositioning her self. As Hermione diantly took a sip of tea, Narcissa continued to stare at her fondly. A wave of emotions sweeping over her, her eyes began to tear.

"Narcissa, are you okay?" Hermione asked putting her cup of tea down.

"oh yes, I'm fine," she said, her hand rushing up to her face and wiping away the escaping tear.

"are, are you crying?" Hermione asked worried that she did or knew something. Narcissa laughed in that manner one does when they feel like an idiot for crying.

"you must forgive me, its just that when I look at you, I just picture her and how she could have been, would have been just like you," Narcissa replied looking down, even more tears starting to build up.

"Who?" Hermione asked contemplating for a moment before she decided on asking.

"you can tell Draco," she said looking up and Hermione nodded. "before having Draco, I had been pregnant many times," she stopped trying to phrase what she wanted to say.

"Narcissa, many women loose their child before birth," Hermione said trying to comfort her. Narcissa shook her head.

"when I reached a certain point in my pregnancy, Lucius would do a spell to find out if the baby were a boy or a girl, every time it was a girl, and everytime he would give me a speech saying that the heir to the Malfoy's could not be a girl, and he would abort the baby. Time after time he did this, until the last time I was pregnant before Draco. I hadn't told him I was pregnant, and when I was able to do the spell and found out that it was infact a girl I would be having, I decided against telling him. I figured, hoped rather, that if I had the child, once I had the child, he would forget about her being the heir, forget about power and money, and just love his child. So I placed a concealment charm on my self, over my stomach so no one could see the bump that was growing. After I had the child, Lucius found out. For just one moment I saw him hold the baby, I saw love in his eyes for that child, I thought, for just a moment that we would keep her. Instead, he began yelling at me, telling me that I should have never hidden this from him, to say goodbye because he was now going to kill her. Oh Pansy, I begged, pleaded with him, screamed at him, I tried to get her, Avina back, tried to pull her from her father's arms. But he turned on his heel and I heard him say the spell right outside the door. I fell to the ground, and swore that I would kill him, but I couldn't." both women were crying now, Hermione hand on her heart. She was seeing a new side to the Malfoy's, making some less evil and some more.

"everyday I think of that baby, I think of what she would have done, what she would look like, everything. I know it sounds foolish, but when you came to our home, you just embodied everything I could have hoped Avina to be. I didn't mean to break down like that dear, I'm sorry if I burdened you with this little revelation," she said, that laugh of idiocy emenating from her again. Hermione watched as she wiped away some tears and looked up to Hermione while taking a sip of tea. Hermione wiped away her tears too, and tried to understand the magnitude of what she just said.

"no, not at all," Hermione stood and hugged her. "it means a lot to me that you would ever consider me anything like your daughter," Hermione said, she truly was touched. The two women stood in embrace, letting the last of the tears escape. Hermione couldn't believe what she had just learned. She had always known Lucius to be evil, and spiteful, but now she hated them even more. He had killed so many of his unborn children, and then he killed a living one. He was ruthless, and unforgivable, Hermione had never wished the death eaters kiss on anyone moreso than Lucius Malfoy. How Narcissa was able to stay with him, she wasn't sure, but she knew that if she was ever in that postion, she would kill her husband before she'd let him kill her child.

"ah, an old women's break down, just the way to celebrate the season," Narcissa laughed and conjured up a tissue to wipe her eyes. she handed one to Hermione who thanked her. "now, lets just forget about this loss of control, and focus on happy things," she said taking her seat, and Hermione racked her brain for something to talk about.

"What about the party? Perhaps you could tell me some more about that?" she asked taking a sip of the tea, trying to forget the fact that Draco had had a sister and would never know about it.

"ahh yes, it is quite the event of the year. There's food, drink, talk, and dance. Some of your classmates will probolly attend, as there parents have been attending for years," Narcissa said and they finished their tea.

"its sounds quite sumptuous," Hermione commented, she had never been to a lavish event besides the balls at school, but in her mind those didn't count.

"everyone always has a wonderful time," Narcissa replied and both women placed down her tea cup. "now lets see, I suppose I should call Melinda in here to get rid of the no dresses, perhaps you should try on the maybe's so we can further eliminate," Narcissa suggested and Hermione agreed. As she stood to walk over to the maybe pile, a dress that she hadn't tried on caught her eye. Quickly stripping out of the pink frou frou one, she slipped on the long and flowy grey dress. Standing on the platform, her mouth dropped open and she gasped a little. The dress was beautiful, the prettiest there. It was a long grey colored dress, it consisted of a dull silk with a grey see through fabric on top of it. the bust was ruched together, and the straps of it were a halter, but not like the dress she had worn to the Halloween ball. This dress had a neck piece that was the straps for the dress. Hermione loved the way it fell on her body, the texture, and her apperance. She thought she looked sexy, and hoped Draco would too. The only thing she questioned was the large lack of fabric on the left hand side. From her hip to right below her bust a diamond shaped piece of fabric was gone and instead a small, yet quite large set of diamonds in that shape replaced it, creating a certain glamour. Still this was not something Hermione would typically wear to any event, let alone anywhere else.

"Pansy, I think you've found the dress," Narcissa said as Pansy spun around in it.

"you don't think it's a bit over the top? I don't know if I would feel comfortable walking around like this," Hermione confessed, but she did love how the dress looked on her.

"its an elaborate event, and you look gorgeous, you will have every man's attention in the room," Narcissa said.

"its only one that I'm looking for," Hermione replied and the older women smiled sweetly.

"you have no reason not to feel comfortable, you have the body for it, and it fits you so well, its like it was calling you, but the descion is yous," she said but hoped Hermoine would get it. after a few more moments of contemplation, Hermione said she would. She loved the dress, and hoped Draco would too.

After putting on her robes, and carrying the dress out of the fitting room, the two women walked over to the shoes. Not wanting to wear too uncomfortable or high heels, but not wanting to wear flats either, they sorted through many boxes of shoes until they finally found a pair that matched the dress perfectly, there were the same color silver with little diamonds on them.

"I am so happy we found this dress, I really think its perfect," Narcissa said standing and holding it.

"I love it to," Hermione confessed, a smile stuck on her face.

"the only request I have is that I buy this outfit for you," Narcissa said as Hermione began to pull out her wallet.

"Narcissa, no, I cant allow you to do that," Hermione said trying to grab the dress from Narcissa's hands.

"Pansy, I insist, think of it as my Christmas present for you," Narcissa repleid.

"Narcissa, you are allowing me to stay in your home and celebrate Christmas with you, that's a present enough," Hermione said.

"no, its my gift, save your money and spend it on something you need, really," Narcissa said and all Hermione could do was hug her.

"oh thank you Narcissa, it really is too sweet," she said. Narcissa hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.

"it is my pleasure," she replied. The two women felt a bond with one another, and Hermione knew that even though Narcissa was a Death Eater, that she was really good, and that's where her son got it from.


	22. Chapter 22

**Reviewwwwww please )**

"oh Draco will you stop? They'll be down in a minute," Lucius scolded as they sat in his office. Draco had been pacing back and forth for the past five minutes, annoying his father to no end.

"but I haven't seen her all day," Draco complained more to himself than to his father. He hadn't seen her the day before because he had been at Blaises house, and all day today she had been helping his mother. As he decided that he hated the idea of them spending time apart, the sliding doors opened to reveal his mother. Before he could open his mouth to ask where she was, his mother answered for him.

"she will be down in a moment," she said fixing her son's robe.

"how does she look?" he asked excitedly.

"beautiful," she replied patting the side of her son's face. Draco got a smile on his face and went back to pacing as Narcissa checked her hair one final time that night.

"Draco, as you are to be taking the mark, I feel it only right that you make the toast this evening," Lucius said, beginning a conversation that was nothing new to Draco's ears.

"Father, I will not take the ma-," Draco stopped dead in his pace, his anger seething, the only thing that could and did stop him was the presence of Hermione, in Pansy's form, but even in a different shape, there was something so Granger-esque about her that he could tell her apart from everyone else.

Everyone stood still in their places, Hermione hung on to the door, not sure if their reactions were to be taken as good or bad.

"Pansy, look at you!" Naricissa squealed in excitement, she walked over to the girl who she had bared her secrets too and spun her around. "I knew those earrings would match perfectly," Narcissa added taking an ear lobe and examining the earrings she had worn on her wedding day.

"thank you so much again," Hermione said, and Narcissa cupped the girls face and kissed her forehead. She then backed away and Hermione stared directly at Draco, his face was unreadable, for an instant she was filled with the panic that perhaps the dress belittled her, that it was too much, that a more subtle dress would have worked better.

"Ms. Parkinson, I do say you look quite lovely this evening," Lucius said, and as Hermione cringed at the way he was ogling her, she had also known it was to be expected. Her eyes darted back to Draco's for a split second to find that he too had venom in his eyes for his father at his simple statement.

"why thank you, sir," Hermione replied nodding her head. A few second of awkward silence emenated between the four people, and it felt that if Hermione's life hung on to Draco's statement, she had never needed anything more in her life than his words.

"our guest are waiting for us, shall we?" Lucius asked standing from his desk, his snake cane in hand. He walked over to his wife who he elegantly gave his arm too, and she took. The obvious displeasure among the couple was not noticeable to the people who saw them formally, but both Hermione and Draco knew what it took for Narcissa to accept Lucius arm.

"Father, we'll be out in a minute," Draco said as Lucius turned and headed for the door.

"do hurry son, I expect you to make you're rounds as usual," Lucius said, and walked away, narcissa in tow.

Hermione still stood at the door, one hand grasping the knob and the other the frame. The fact that he had said nothing was killing her, and she cast her hazel eyes forlornly at the ground.

"I knew the dress was a wrong choice, I don't know what I was thinking. I can transfigure it if you think I sh-," Hermione began, not even realizing that Draco had approached her and captured her lips. Hermione knew there were very few kisses in life that would depict such emotion and depth. Draco Malfoy's kiss always told a story, a story of his unrelenting passion and emotion for her, of the deepest love, and this kiss was the most profound story he had ever told.

**new writing from here on in**

"so you like it?" she said exhaling out of the kiss as they pulled away. she opened her eyes and found Draco staring at her lustfully and with love.

"you're beautiful, even in Pansy's form," he said and she let out a little laugh, and looked down. his hand cupped her cheek, and she wrapped her fingers around his.

Hermione never wanted to leave this protection she felt at the moment, being alone with Draco and so close to him, she forgot what they were about to do; forgot that on the floor below her was an entire room full of her enemies, witches and wizards who if she took down now, could save hundreds of lives. But she couldn't.

It pained her beyond no end that she couldn't. she was doing a disservice to herself, her loved ones, her kind, her cause, and all in the name of what. it was in the name of love, and somehow, in an odd and certainly dysfunctional sense, that justified everything.

Draco offered Hermione his arm, like Lucius had done to Narcissa, and together, they waked out of the study and to the top of the steps.

"are you ready?" he asked her as she raised her head and braced herself.

"are you?" she replied, they smiled at each other, and he squeezed her hand.

They began to descend the steps, Draco with an aristocratic look plastered to his face in front of his father's guest, Hermione bearing a small yet quaint smile which enticed the eyes of many.

One by one, heads turned in the young lovers direction. These were, in the eyes of the death eaters, the faces of the new generation. The beauty and eloquence that both Hermione and Draco walked with, the glow they emitted, brought a certain confidence to all the partygoers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Mr. Draco Malfoy and Ms. Pansy Parkinson," a small house elf said, it's voice booming over the crowd. Everyone's attention was on them now and Draco took the opportunity to grab two glasses of champagne as they passed by on a floating tray. Draco handed a glass to Hermione, and then turned towards the crowd that stared at him expectantly, it was nowhere near the time for a toast, but he had to greet the mass that had awaited his arrival.

"Happy Christmas," he said raising his glass, Hermione followed suit and they touch the brims of their flutes. Exchanges of the season echoed around the room as people repeated Draco's brief welcome message. Hermione caught a glance of Lucius who stood in the corner surveying the room, nodding in approval of his son's act.

The simple gesture made Hermione's insides turn as she took a sip of the bubbly. Draco placed his arm around her waist as they descended the last few steps and meshed with the crowd. They both noticed the looks Hermione was receiving, the glances along her body from the Death Eaters, and it made them feel disgusting.

Draco hung onto her tighter as they made conversation with some surrounding people who had asked about school and who had wished them a happy holiday.

"how are you doing?" Draco asked, turning to take Hermione in his arms.

"the question is how are you?" Hermione replied, and their foreheads touched.

"better with you here," he replied and was bringing his lips to hers when a voiced interrupted.

"Draco, my boy-, oh am I interrupting?" Hermione turned in the direction of the booming voice, and came to face a man who she did not recognize.

He stood there, a knowingful smirk plastered to his face at the sight that he had found Hermione and Draco in. he was a rather tall man, with short black hair and wearing dark green robes.

"Mr. Wellington," Draco said standing up straight, and holding so tight to Hermione that it almost hurt. "how are you sir?"

"enjoying the holiday, son. And you?" he replied. Hermione continued to survey the man, he had large hands, and a bore a ring on his left. As she looked closer, she saw that it held the Slytherine mark.

"Quite well. Sir, I would like to introduce you to my girl friend, Pansy Parkinson. Pansy, this is my father's business associate, Levi Wellington," Draco said and Hermione put out her hand.

"Pleasure," she said shortly.

"Ms. Parkinson, I must say you look lovely this evening. Draco is one lucky young man," Mr. Wellington replied. There was something about the way this particular death eater looked her over that made her visibly cringe.

"I'm well aware," Draco interjected, pulling Hermione closer. The tension was obvious between the teens and Mr. Wellington. They stood there in awkward silence for a moment longer as Wellington continued to survey Hermione's body, taking in every aspect that he could and leaving the rest up to his imagination.

"if that'll be all sir-," Draco began.

"actually Draco, I was wondering if I could steal you away for a few minutes. There's some business I wish to attend to," Wellington said sharply.

"now would not be the best time," Draco replied.

Hermione stood there watching the exchange, somewhat perplexed by the relationship between the men.

"I do hate to pull you two apart, but it's imperative," Wellington stated. Although Hermione acted as if she was looking just past the man standing in front of her, she was really watching his every move, and the subtle indication the man made to his left forearm did not go unnoticed by her.

"Draco," Hermione said, as his grip loosened. She placed her hand on his trying to get him to stay. She was only getting bad vibes from this man.

"I'll be back in a minute love," he said placing his hand on her cheek and kissing her swiftly on her lips. In those last seconds Hermione desperately searched his eyes for some indication of his emotions, but he just nodded and let Mr. Wellington lead him away.

Hermione suddenly felt extremely vulnerable. The most vulnerable she had felt since she had started her affair with Draco. As she followed him with her eyes, she noticed how the death eaters immediately surrounding her turned to face her.

"pretty little girl," she heard one say.

"and whose to escort her now since master Draco was led away by Wellington?" another added.

"so delectable," a third voice stuck out. They circled her as if they were sharks in the ocean going in for the kill, and in the middle Hermione stood alone, helpless.

"I am just fine by myself," Hermione asserted in the most powerful tone she could, standing up a little straighter than she needed.

"brave little one isn't she. Say," the closest death eater to her started to approach her and ran his hand up her arm.

"get off of me!" Hermione said feircly and pushed his arm off of her.

"feisty," the death eater replied and then looked to another comarade. "just how I like them." The surrounding death eaters started to laugh as he brought his hand back to her. She had grabbed her wand and just as she was about to say a hex, she was saved by a man who she never thought would save her.

"I do hope you're not accosting Ms. Parkinson, Marks." Lucius stood there, and the death eaters all stood up as straight as the could, and the offending death eater removed his hand from Hermione's arm.

"just offering to escort the child until Young Draco came back," he said, and Hermione could see the fear in his eyes.

"Ms. Parkinson is hardly a child, nor is Draco. Both are very capable of handling themselves," Lucius replied and his intimidiating manner.

"understood sir, I hope to seek your, and Ms. Parkinson's forgiveness," Marks replied. Luicus looked to Hermione who stood there slightly in awe for a moment, but then snapped back into reality. She approached Marks.

"if you, or any of your friends are to look at, touch, or think about me in a wrong way, I will hex you so hard you'd wish you didn't come," she said in a threatening whisper.

Marks nodded and he and the few men who had stopped to watch hurried away. Hermione pushed some hair behind her ear, and turned around, surprised to see Lucius still standing there.

"you know Draco really shouldn't have left you alone in this crowd, I don't know what the boy was thinking," Lucius said. Hermione had every intention to walk right by him, but she couldn't. he had just saved her, well pansy, and pansy would show more manners.

"he knows I can handle myself Mr. Malfoy," she replied.

"that's quite apparent," Lucius replied in a sarcastic manner. Hermione bit her tongue to keep a rude remark from escaping her lips.

"thank you for helping me sir, I appreciate it, though I can promise you that should the situation occur again, I will be fully capable to handle it," she decided to go with instead.

With a curt smile, Hermione picked up the hem of her dress and began walking past Lucius.

"let's ensure that it doesn't," he said grabbing her wrist. It hurt, but she wouldn't scream out.

"I will ask you to please let go," she said stairing him dead in the eye. He saw her go for her wand, but accioed it away from her.

"a dance, Ms. Parkinson? Its all I ask," he said and Hermione knew if she had any shot of getting away, it would be this. She nodded her head, and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor only a few meters away.

the song changed as Lucius placed a hand on her hip and took her other and they began to sway with the music. Hermione noticed he was a very elegant and graceful dancer, no doubt where Draco had learned his moves from.

"I do hope you've enjoyed your stay at the manner," Lucius said after a few seconds of silence.

"your wife keeps a fabulous home Mr. Malfoy," Hermione repleid knowing that's not what he wanted to hear. "I can see where Draco gets all his wonderful qualities from."

This last statement shut Lucius up for a moment longer.

"I am aware you have taken a strong liking to my wife." He was now taking a more direct approach to get to the point.

"she is a lovely lady, one who is greatly misread for her capabilities," Hermione said, and now she stared in him the eye more than ever. Lucius began laughing.

"you must understand Pansy-,"

"Ms. Parkinson," Hermione corrected.

"Ms. Parkinson, that my wife is, damaged. Mentally that is. She recalls things that were merely hallucinations, and passes them to others as truths. She has hindered Draco's understanding of life, of the cause, far too many times because of this problem."

Hermione let the words sink in, and couldn't believe what he was doing. Her temper was rising at his audacity to speak such bold face lies.

"Narcissa has deterred Draco at times from fighting for the right cause, from accepting the position of power the dark lord has so kindly granted him, and him alone. Something which is hardly ever seen. But I know you Pansy. I know the sway you hold over my son. Your encouragement would be all that it would take to make him forget his mother's childish teachings and accept his title."

Lucius pulled Hermione closer to his body still, so that his mouth was right on her ear. Even as she attempted to pull away, she found she was far too weak to do so against him. She stood there speechless.

"with his acceptance of the title, think of what this would mean for you. The power, wealth, the Malfoy name. This manor which you have taken such a strong liking to my dear, will be yours. All you need to do is to convince him of what is right." He brought his hand up from her waist and placed it under her chin as to tilt it up to look at him. "I know you know what is." He began to bring his lips closer to hers but she pulled away in disgust.

"don't lie to me. your son hasn't even asked me for his hand, nor do you know of what I support. I've known of you for a long time Mr. Malfoy, and I may not know everything, nor do I wish too, but I am aware of where you stand, aware of the evil that you possess. I know of your alliance to Vol-the dark lord, your sick desire to continue the Malfoy name." Hermione leaned in closer. "I know of all the children you aborted, of the torture you caused your wife, of Avina."

"a hallucination of Narcissa's," he reassured her, but by the way he was so tense she knew this was a lie.

"not a hallucination Mr. Malfoy, and sick truth."

"so are you a member of the order then Ms. Parkinson? Against our cause, our kind?" Lucius spitted out, they talked in hush but forceful whispers. Hermione stammered, she didn't know what to say, knew she had gone to far, said to much.

"far from sir, but I do not intend to get into an altercation with him over a matter of which I have been given little say in," Hermione replied, hoping the response was good enough.

"you dissapoint me Ms. Parkison a great deal," Lucius said retriving her wand from his sleeve, his anger flairing.

"strangely enough, that does little to bother me," she replied taking her wand. She began to walk away when she stopped and turned to face him again. "thank you for the dance, Mr. Malfoy."

Turning on her heel again she headed for a corner where there were few people around to analyze what she just learned.

She had known for a long time that Draco did not want to join the Death Eaters, but at the same time she knew he felt obligated too, felt there was no other way, yet she didn't know why he felt this way.

Over the past few moments, Hermione surmised that Draco was putting up a good fight, that if he continued this, if she helped and supported him, he could overcome his father's power and influence. That he could join the order, and somehow, she thought, if that happened, that maybe they could be together, longer or for forever.

She looked down at the glass of champagne she had picked up and as she fingered the brim, she felt two arms surround her, although she should have been more aware, she relaxed when she realized it was Draco's embrace.

"what did Wellington want? Who is he?" she asked quickly turning around in his arms. He looked pale, and tired and she rubbed her hand along his face.

"not now Hermione," Draco replied. His face expressed the exasperation he felt. The rest of the night followed with both Hermione and Draco being much more reserved, yet it didn't matter, they had each other and that's all they needed.


End file.
